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HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT PART 2

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT PART 2

PARENT’S HAVE THE GREATER RESPONSIBILITY

THE JOY OF WATCHING MY GRAND CHILDREN GROW UP (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

THE JOY OF WATCHING MY GRAND CHILDREN GROW UP (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

In part one of this four part series we talked about the role parents play in raising loving and respectable children.  We asked you to share your thoughts on what you would do to raise your children up in the right way that would make them a more responsible and productive adult in this society.  Several of you responded and I will share a couple of your response here.

One of our own Ministers, Sister Shirley wrote, “What we as adults, leaders, and parents must understand is that children are a gift from God, one to be cherished. They are our future leaders, doctors, teachers, etc., therefore our responsibility should be to teach and guide them now or pay the price in the future. Life is about choice and chance.”  

When I was a youth living in a small town, everyone knew everyone and no one was ever afraid to correct us if they saw us doing something wrong.  Today, if you correct a child when you see them doing wrong, you will have the parents knocking at your door for chastising their child.  You might even have the police come calling on you, if you are lucky that the child has not shot and killed you.  There is something badly wrong with this picture, but it is a true one today.

I can recall a time when I was in a vacation bible school; my wife at the time was teaching a Bible Study class with one of our Associate Ministers.  I had been called outside to break up a disturbance.  When I came back into the church, this young man’s sister was standing in the middle of the church cursing my wife and the pastor out using all sorts of foul language.  I escorted her outside and attempted to talk with her to no avail.  She left and within a few minutes, just after things had gotten back to normal within the church class, the doors swung open with a loud bang and a loud voice began to roar from the rear of the church.  It was the mother of the two teenagers yelling and screaming at me with language worst than her children had used, telling me what she was going to do to me if I ever put my hands on her children again.

Now this mother was the chairman of the usher board within the church.  Not only were her children wrong, but she was wrong for the way she handled the situation.  Her children went home and lied to her about what had taken place at the church.  She was willing to believe the worst from them, and instead of coming to find out what was going on, she came in accusing me and others of striking her children when no such thing had taken place.  If this had happened when I was a youth, I would have gotten my butt whipped before I left the church, then I would have been taken home to my parents and they would have whipped my butt again.  But you see, in today’s political correctness society, there are too many parents who refuse to correct their own children and will not allow anyone in the churches, schools or the community to do so.  Therefore, the youth’s attitude is you are not my parents and you can’t tell me what to do.  This is a sad commentary for our youth and it is a factor that is contributing to the youth violence in America today.

Another part of this problem of correcting children is some of the abuse that some parents have perpetuated upon their children that has caused the government to get more involved in our daily lives.  We parents are responsible for our children and we must shoulder that responsibility with love, understanding and patience.  Children can be a problem.  There is much peer pressure on them.  They want to fit in with their friends, therefore as a parent, we must try to understand their changing life style, and the growth hormones as they experienced adulthood.  We must treat them with respect, try and understand that they too do have problems and they may not always share those problems with us.  But we must always be willing to put our arms around them and daily tell them that we love them, even though we may not be having the kind of conversation we would like to have with them.  But I tell you that there is power in love.  When our youth can feel within themselves that they are loved, it brings a much different kind of respect from them.

Another one of our readers wrote and shared her story with us as to how she as a single parent is raising her daughter and preparing her for adulthood and to become a creative and productive member of this society.  Here is what she had to say; “I am trying to be here during my daughter’s childhood and teen years. I have chosen to sacrifice a more materialistic living in favor of being a stay at home mom. I’m available to my child when she comes home from school and stay available until she’s in bed at night. I find this helps immensely in our communication and the trust being built between us. We still have immense challenges, as I’m a single mom, but I’m so glad I made the decision to put her before materialism in our lives.”  (The Warrioress  Life of a female Blogger)  We encourage you to go by and read her writings.  You can reach her by clicking on this link:  http://lifeofafemalebiblewarrior.wordpress.com/

We also encourage you to share your story with us and we will include it in Part 3 of this series which we will post next week on Tuesday June 25, 2013.  Your story just might be the one that helps to encourage another parent to become a better parent or perhaps improve their parenting skills and even save a child’s life.

 

 

 

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HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

THERE IS ENOUGH BLAME TO GO AROUND 

Today we begin a four part series on raising loving and respectable children.  We invite each of you to share your thoughts and ideas, and we know that you do have lots of them and we will include as many of them as possible in this series.  We all can learn from each other and by sharing your experiences it might be just the one thing another parent could use to help teach their child respect and save their life.

We are living in very difficult times and raising Children is made more difficult for a variety of reasons and non-more so than the shrinking economy.  It is causing heart-aches, pain and stresses in a lot of families, and sometimes causes them to over react and make very bad decisions that have a negative effect on their children and family life.

Our Children are under a lot of pressure and they are acting it out in the homes, schools, streets and everywhere else with all sorts of violent acts.  When this begins to happen, people start point fingers and blaming others.  There is enough blame to go around when some say that it is liberalism that has caused the violence.  Others say that it is the removal of prayer from our schools.  Some say it is the steady stream of violence we see in the movies, on the nightly news cast, on all sorts of TV Programs and especially the video games.

There are still others who blame the government for overtaxing its citizens, and forcing parents to have to abandon their children for the workplace.

When it comes to our children using guns to settle their differences, there are those who would blame the gun manufacturers and the gun dealers.  But no where do we see anyone taking responsibility for what has happened.  Not the parents, schools, churches, business, government or the youth themselves.  Our U.S. Congress refuses to pass sensible Gun Laws that could be a help in stopping some of the Gun Violence, but No; everyone wants to place the blame on someone else.

It is time that we as parents begin to accept the major portion of responsibility and take control of our children’s lives and get the government out of our homes and bedrooms.  We as parents are responsible for raising our children and it does take the whole community to be involved and always willing to lend a helping hand.

Now I encourage each one of you to share some of your experiences in raising your own children and we will begin posting them in part two of PARENT’S RESPONSIBILITY.” Part Two will be posted on Thursday June 20, 2013.

 

 

THE JOY OF MOTHERING NINE CHILDREN

THE JOY OF MOTHERING NINE CHILDREN

 TODAY WE HONOR ALL MOTHERS AS WE CELEBRATE THIS SPECIAL MOTHERS’ DAY WEEK… 

AUTHORED BY MELANIE JEAN JUNEAU 

MOTHERING 01

I wanted to be a missionary when I was in my early twenties and was not interested even in dating at university. Suddenly, in a space of a few hours I knew God’s call was marriage;  His presence was so strong, I received an inner image of Jesus’s hand on Michael’s and my heads.I was disappointed but I said yes to becoming a mother even though I had never held a baby before my first child.MOTHERING 02 MOTHERING 03 MOTHERING 04 MOTHERING 05

My children literally saved, healed and set me free. They have shaped my whole spirituality . My life in Christ is simple and full of Joy.

With so much to do, I was forced to let go of control and let God take control. We are cash poor and He has provided for us, even performing a multiplication of heating oil. One tank of oil lasted for 4 months instead of refilling 6-7 times.

MOTHERING 06 MOTHERING 07 MOTHERING 08

Living on a hobby farm helped us raise kids with a good work ethic, who learned how to work and play together. Today they  socialize with other regularly and help look after each other

MOTHERING 09

MOTHERING 10

 

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MOTHERING 13 MOTHERING 14 MOTHERING 15

Melanie Jean Juneau is a petite wife, writer and mother of nine children who blogs at melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com. When the words “The Joy of Mothering on a Hobby Farm” popped into her head as a subtitle for her short stories it was like an epiphany for her because those few words verbalized her experience living with little people. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. Her writing is humorous and heart warming; thoughtful and thought-provoking with a strong current of spirituality running through it. Part of her call and her witness is to write the truth about children, family, marriage and the sacredness of life, especially a life lived in God.

We thank our Dear Sister in Christ for sharing her beautiful story of The Joy of Mothering Nine with us.  We encourage all our readers to click on this link and visit her Website and get her complete story.  http://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/author/melaniejeanjuneau/

WILL YOU JOIN OUR WEEK LONG CELEBRATION HONORING THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD?

WILL YOU JOIN OUR WEEK LONG CELEBRATION HONORING THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD?

A bouquet of Red Roses for your Mother (Photo by Pastor Davis)

A bouquet of Red Roses for your Mother (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Let me remind you that beginning Monday Morning, we will begin a weeklong celebration service honoring our dear Mothers from around the globe.  Please join with us each day and share your thoughts and prayers with one of our most precious resources and that is our Mothers.  For the Bible teaches us to honor our Mothers that our days will be long upon this earth.  Each one of you can be a part of this celebration by returning here daily and sharing a word with our tens of thousands readers from all over the world.  In our comment section just give a big shout out to some of the thousands of Mothers that will be reading these articles daily. One of them could be your very own Mother.  Help us to lift the Spirits of our Mothers who have sacrificed so much that we may enjoy the fruits of this world.  I thank you for your participation in our Week long Celebration and Honor of our very Beautiful, Sweet and Loving Mothers.  May God add a blessing to each one of you for what you will bring to the Spiritual Table in honor of our Mothers!

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE

Drug Abuser 01

 

CHILDREN ARE OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE

WRITTEN BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

No matter how many times we may ask the question are how many different ways we may ask it, “WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE?” The same answer keeps returning back to us.  We as parents are responsible as the front line defense of helping to keep our children off dangerous drugs.  Time and again, kids say their parents are the single most important influence when it comes to drugs.  The message needs to start with you as parents.  Kids need to hear about how risky drug use is.  Research has shown that the earlier parents talk to their kids about drug use, the less likely they will be to use and abuse drugs.   Even if their kids have already tried drugs, informed parents can act to save their kids from drug abuse. 

Studies have also shown that the children that are not shown the proper love and care at home from their parents will actual turn to other peer groups even joining gangs. The most important and natural part of growing up is to fit in and belong to a group. It is natural that children want others to like them. Sometimes the group they want to join is using illegal drugs and tobacco and a teen may turn to these illegal drugs just to fit in and belong.

Drug Abuser 04

Teaching kids the danger of alcohol and other drug use is not enough. Children need to learn how to refuse and avoid the use of illicit drugs. Parents have another and very important obligation, and that is, to help kids deal with peer pressure.  This is not an easy task to accomplish but it is not an impossible task.

Whenever you are in doubt of what you need to say or do to help your child, just remember these words: “Keep vigilant watch over your heart, that’s where life starts. Keep your eyes straight ahead; watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust. Proverbs 4:23-27!”

Early adolescence is a time of enormous and often confusing changes for a child, which makes it a challenging time for both your kids and you.  Being tuned in to what it’s like to be a teen can help you stay closer to your child and have more influence on the choices he or she makes — including decisions about using drugs or alcohol.

However, if you are one of those parents that are abusing drugs yourself, you are pouring fuel on a fire that might have already started to burn in your children’s lives.  We point this out because it is the reality of many parents raising children and at the same time they are using and abusing drugs themselves.  This makes you less an authority figure in your children lives and harms your relationship with them and your ability to help keep them away from drugs.

Therefore, we offer up this advice to you as a parent to help you help your children not to begin using drugs and becoming addictive to them.  Because here is how Drug Abuse is seen from a child’s perspective:  Before you decide to take that first drink, smoke that first joint/cigarette, snort your first hit of cocaine or any other substance that poses the chance of addiction, think, it’s not just about you.

Children are sometime victims as well and to help address issues and heal their wounds; let us consider for a moment:

  • Broken promises- do you break your promise of family time together, don’t keep your promise that you will not drink or use drugs on certain days; this can cause the child to grow up thinking they are not loved or important enough to you.
  • A victim of mood changes-always changing rules, loving one moment and abusive the next confuses the child.
  • The child may feel ashamed or embarrassed (especially around friends) because alcohol or drugs may turn a lovely parent into a total embarrassment.
  • May experience tension and fear, because the parent is a substance abuser the child never knows what might happen next, therefore they feel unsafe or live in fear in a place in an environment where they should other-wise feel safe and protected.
  • Guilt may become a pattern for the child because they may feel their parent’s behavior is their fault so they try to adjust to what pleases the parent, not able to recognize that substance abuse or Alcohol abuse is an illness and it’s not their fault.
  • Anger and hurt, children often feel neglected, mistreated, and less important and may grow up with a profound sense of abandonment. As some age they may copy the parents behavior at an early age and begin to experiment with alcohol and/or other drugs
  • Loneliness and isolation, because the family hides and or denies the problem they will not discuss it among themselves which causes the children to think they are the only one with the problem.
  • Lying as a way of life, the need to constantly cover failure of the parent.
  • Feels responsible/obligated, children often feel it is their job to organize and run the home or care for younger siblings; hide the problem from authorities in order to protect the parent.
  • Children are precious resource given to us by God to love and protect; he adore children.

One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off, but Jesus intervened; “Let the children alone, don’t prevent them from coming to me. God’s kingdom is made up of people like these.”  Are you one of these people?

We all are parents to the children of the world.  No child should ever be turned away when they are in need of tender loving care. It is up to each one of us to know the truth, because what you don’t know can put your child at risk.  You may think you already know enough about the drug culture because drugs were around when you were growing up.  You may have even tried marijuana when you were a teen.  Today, kids know more, are exposed to a greater variety of drugs and drug sources, from friends to music and the media.  Drugs are often cheaper and easier to find for kids today.  Educate yourself about the new drug culture and how you can help your children stay drug free and if they are not drug free, help them to get the proper treatment. Now before concluding this message, take a few minutes more and watch this video clip on a few Alcoholic facts.

It has been found that adolescents who enter treatment are more likely to achieve long-term sobriety than those who enter as adults, and the earlier they enter, the more effective the treatment will be. We know that in early adolescent years, youth are courageous and may have high-risk behaviors. They think nothing bad will happen to them. Today, using drugs is a dangerous risk for children. Parents must talk to their children and explain that using alcohol, illegal drugs and tobacco is not an acceptable risk-taking behavior, and the reason why is because, “CHILDREN ARE OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE!”  And as such, we as Parents, “ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE!”

 

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A Father’s Love (My Son Maximillion and His Baby Daughter) Photo by Pastor Davis)

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

When we are born we do not yet know how to speak or behave, yet we are born with the potential to learn things—before we were thought about, God already had a plan for our lives. Oh yes you shaped me first inside, and then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb Psalm 139:13 (Mgs).  The Father and Mother are chosen vessels to conceive and nurture the child until birth—and is to continue teaching and instilling knowledge and rules needed to develop social skills through the stages of growth and development.

Whether positive or negative there’s always a payoff to everything we do. Families are those whom we grow with and learn many of life’s lessons. Often that reality is shattered through divorce, broken-relationships, and finances. Interruption in the process of marriage/relationship can shift the responsibility of child care to either parent. Some men often assume the role of care taker and are seen as a stable force in the child’s life. A father is one that shows love and concern, offers encouragement and seeks to instill values that will enhance the child’s quality of life. Although society dictates parenting, especially in regards to the role of fathers there are those who care enough to provide their children with a positive environment. Maybe we as a society should focus more on the quality of care these fathers are capable of giving rather than quantity. Every case is different and recognizing the contributions of many male figures as fathers and role models may save a child from fate of the criminal justice system.  Therefore, I state to you, that when a father is embracing his children with love and encouragement he is then truly fulfilling his role which is, “A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN!”

HOW DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO FATHER’S ABOUT THE RAISING AND DISCIPLINE OF THEIR CHILDREN?

HOW DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO FATHER’S ABOUT THE RAISING AND DISCIPLINE OF THEIR CHILDREN?

A Father and Son Moment (Pastor Davis and son Maximillion)

By Minister Shirley Rhodes  

Fathers as head of the family

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them. –Robert L. Evans

  • Fathers were once considered the head of the family and considered the provider and disciplinarian; that role today has been replaced with restrictions on their role as to how they raise their children within any means less favorable according to the government and society.  Many of the Christian values have been replaced with laws that forbid discipline by touching. According to the Scriptures children who are taught early will keep those values deep within even if they happen to choose a different path in life. A look into the Word that will give insight to fathers:

Children obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (Colossians 3:20-21—KJV)

Children do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master to no end.

Parents don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits (Mgs).

  • The book of Proverbs offers insight into behavior, warnings and consequences of disobedient children.

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it is the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish son is grief of his mother (10:1).

A wise son hears’ his father’s instructions; but a scorner hears rebuke (13:1). He that spares the rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastened him early (24).

A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish man despise his Mother (15:20).

Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers (17:6). A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him (25).

Punish thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying (19:18).

He that abuses his father and chases away his mother is a son that causes shame, and brings reproach (26).

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work is pure, and whether it is right (20:11).

Train up your child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (22:6). Foolish is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (15).

Withhold not correction from the child; for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and shall rescue his soul from hell (23: 13-14).

Hear my son and be wise, guide your heart in the way (19); Listen to your father that begat you, and despise not your mother when she is old (22). My sons, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways (26).

The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself brings his mother shame (29:15). Correct your son and he shall give you rest; he shall give delight unto your soul (17-18).

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