Posts tagged ‘Parent’

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT PART 2

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT PART 2

PARENT’S HAVE THE GREATER RESPONSIBILITY

THE JOY OF WATCHING MY GRAND CHILDREN GROW UP (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

THE JOY OF WATCHING MY GRAND CHILDREN GROW UP (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

In part one of this four part series we talked about the role parents play in raising loving and respectable children.  We asked you to share your thoughts on what you would do to raise your children up in the right way that would make them a more responsible and productive adult in this society.  Several of you responded and I will share a couple of your response here.

One of our own Ministers, Sister Shirley wrote, “What we as adults, leaders, and parents must understand is that children are a gift from God, one to be cherished. They are our future leaders, doctors, teachers, etc., therefore our responsibility should be to teach and guide them now or pay the price in the future. Life is about choice and chance.”  

When I was a youth living in a small town, everyone knew everyone and no one was ever afraid to correct us if they saw us doing something wrong.  Today, if you correct a child when you see them doing wrong, you will have the parents knocking at your door for chastising their child.  You might even have the police come calling on you, if you are lucky that the child has not shot and killed you.  There is something badly wrong with this picture, but it is a true one today.

I can recall a time when I was in a vacation bible school; my wife at the time was teaching a Bible Study class with one of our Associate Ministers.  I had been called outside to break up a disturbance.  When I came back into the church, this young man’s sister was standing in the middle of the church cursing my wife and the pastor out using all sorts of foul language.  I escorted her outside and attempted to talk with her to no avail.  She left and within a few minutes, just after things had gotten back to normal within the church class, the doors swung open with a loud bang and a loud voice began to roar from the rear of the church.  It was the mother of the two teenagers yelling and screaming at me with language worst than her children had used, telling me what she was going to do to me if I ever put my hands on her children again.

Now this mother was the chairman of the usher board within the church.  Not only were her children wrong, but she was wrong for the way she handled the situation.  Her children went home and lied to her about what had taken place at the church.  She was willing to believe the worst from them, and instead of coming to find out what was going on, she came in accusing me and others of striking her children when no such thing had taken place.  If this had happened when I was a youth, I would have gotten my butt whipped before I left the church, then I would have been taken home to my parents and they would have whipped my butt again.  But you see, in today’s political correctness society, there are too many parents who refuse to correct their own children and will not allow anyone in the churches, schools or the community to do so.  Therefore, the youth’s attitude is you are not my parents and you can’t tell me what to do.  This is a sad commentary for our youth and it is a factor that is contributing to the youth violence in America today.

Another part of this problem of correcting children is some of the abuse that some parents have perpetuated upon their children that has caused the government to get more involved in our daily lives.  We parents are responsible for our children and we must shoulder that responsibility with love, understanding and patience.  Children can be a problem.  There is much peer pressure on them.  They want to fit in with their friends, therefore as a parent, we must try to understand their changing life style, and the growth hormones as they experienced adulthood.  We must treat them with respect, try and understand that they too do have problems and they may not always share those problems with us.  But we must always be willing to put our arms around them and daily tell them that we love them, even though we may not be having the kind of conversation we would like to have with them.  But I tell you that there is power in love.  When our youth can feel within themselves that they are loved, it brings a much different kind of respect from them.

Another one of our readers wrote and shared her story with us as to how she as a single parent is raising her daughter and preparing her for adulthood and to become a creative and productive member of this society.  Here is what she had to say; “I am trying to be here during my daughter’s childhood and teen years. I have chosen to sacrifice a more materialistic living in favor of being a stay at home mom. I’m available to my child when she comes home from school and stay available until she’s in bed at night. I find this helps immensely in our communication and the trust being built between us. We still have immense challenges, as I’m a single mom, but I’m so glad I made the decision to put her before materialism in our lives.”  (The Warrioress  Life of a female Blogger)  We encourage you to go by and read her writings.  You can reach her by clicking on this link:  http://lifeofafemalebiblewarrior.wordpress.com/

We also encourage you to share your story with us and we will include it in Part 3 of this series which we will post next week on Tuesday June 25, 2013.  Your story just might be the one that helps to encourage another parent to become a better parent or perhaps improve their parenting skills and even save a child’s life.

 

 

 

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

THERE IS ENOUGH BLAME TO GO AROUND 

Today we begin a four part series on raising loving and respectable children.  We invite each of you to share your thoughts and ideas, and we know that you do have lots of them and we will include as many of them as possible in this series.  We all can learn from each other and by sharing your experiences it might be just the one thing another parent could use to help teach their child respect and save their life.

We are living in very difficult times and raising Children is made more difficult for a variety of reasons and non-more so than the shrinking economy.  It is causing heart-aches, pain and stresses in a lot of families, and sometimes causes them to over react and make very bad decisions that have a negative effect on their children and family life.

Our Children are under a lot of pressure and they are acting it out in the homes, schools, streets and everywhere else with all sorts of violent acts.  When this begins to happen, people start point fingers and blaming others.  There is enough blame to go around when some say that it is liberalism that has caused the violence.  Others say that it is the removal of prayer from our schools.  Some say it is the steady stream of violence we see in the movies, on the nightly news cast, on all sorts of TV Programs and especially the video games.

There are still others who blame the government for overtaxing its citizens, and forcing parents to have to abandon their children for the workplace.

When it comes to our children using guns to settle their differences, there are those who would blame the gun manufacturers and the gun dealers.  But no where do we see anyone taking responsibility for what has happened.  Not the parents, schools, churches, business, government or the youth themselves.  Our U.S. Congress refuses to pass sensible Gun Laws that could be a help in stopping some of the Gun Violence, but No; everyone wants to place the blame on someone else.

It is time that we as parents begin to accept the major portion of responsibility and take control of our children’s lives and get the government out of our homes and bedrooms.  We as parents are responsible for raising our children and it does take the whole community to be involved and always willing to lend a helping hand.

Now I encourage each one of you to share some of your experiences in raising your own children and we will begin posting them in part two of PARENT’S RESPONSIBILITY.” Part Two will be posted on Thursday June 20, 2013.

 

 

THE JOY OF MOTHERING NINE CHILDREN

THE JOY OF MOTHERING NINE CHILDREN

 TODAY WE HONOR ALL MOTHERS AS WE CELEBRATE THIS SPECIAL MOTHERS’ DAY WEEK… 

AUTHORED BY MELANIE JEAN JUNEAU 

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I wanted to be a missionary when I was in my early twenties and was not interested even in dating at university. Suddenly, in a space of a few hours I knew God’s call was marriage;  His presence was so strong, I received an inner image of Jesus’s hand on Michael’s and my heads.I was disappointed but I said yes to becoming a mother even though I had never held a baby before my first child.MOTHERING 02 MOTHERING 03 MOTHERING 04 MOTHERING 05

My children literally saved, healed and set me free. They have shaped my whole spirituality . My life in Christ is simple and full of Joy.

With so much to do, I was forced to let go of control and let God take control. We are cash poor and He has provided for us, even performing a multiplication of heating oil. One tank of oil lasted for 4 months instead of refilling 6-7 times.

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Living on a hobby farm helped us raise kids with a good work ethic, who learned how to work and play together. Today they  socialize with other regularly and help look after each other

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Melanie Jean Juneau is a petite wife, writer and mother of nine children who blogs at melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com. When the words “The Joy of Mothering on a Hobby Farm” popped into her head as a subtitle for her short stories it was like an epiphany for her because those few words verbalized her experience living with little people. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. Her writing is humorous and heart warming; thoughtful and thought-provoking with a strong current of spirituality running through it. Part of her call and her witness is to write the truth about children, family, marriage and the sacredness of life, especially a life lived in God.

We thank our Dear Sister in Christ for sharing her beautiful story of The Joy of Mothering Nine with us.  We encourage all our readers to click on this link and visit her Website and get her complete story.  http://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/author/melaniejeanjuneau/

WILL YOU JOIN OUR WEEK LONG CELEBRATION HONORING THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD?

WILL YOU JOIN OUR WEEK LONG CELEBRATION HONORING THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD?

A bouquet of Red Roses for your Mother (Photo by Pastor Davis)

A bouquet of Red Roses for your Mother (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Let me remind you that beginning Monday Morning, we will begin a weeklong celebration service honoring our dear Mothers from around the globe.  Please join with us each day and share your thoughts and prayers with one of our most precious resources and that is our Mothers.  For the Bible teaches us to honor our Mothers that our days will be long upon this earth.  Each one of you can be a part of this celebration by returning here daily and sharing a word with our tens of thousands readers from all over the world.  In our comment section just give a big shout out to some of the thousands of Mothers that will be reading these articles daily. One of them could be your very own Mother.  Help us to lift the Spirits of our Mothers who have sacrificed so much that we may enjoy the fruits of this world.  I thank you for your participation in our Week long Celebration and Honor of our very Beautiful, Sweet and Loving Mothers.  May God add a blessing to each one of you for what you will bring to the Spiritual Table in honor of our Mothers!

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE

Drug Abuser 01

 

CHILDREN ARE OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE

WRITTEN BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

No matter how many times we may ask the question are how many different ways we may ask it, “WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE?” The same answer keeps returning back to us.  We as parents are responsible as the front line defense of helping to keep our children off dangerous drugs.  Time and again, kids say their parents are the single most important influence when it comes to drugs.  The message needs to start with you as parents.  Kids need to hear about how risky drug use is.  Research has shown that the earlier parents talk to their kids about drug use, the less likely they will be to use and abuse drugs.   Even if their kids have already tried drugs, informed parents can act to save their kids from drug abuse. 

Studies have also shown that the children that are not shown the proper love and care at home from their parents will actual turn to other peer groups even joining gangs. The most important and natural part of growing up is to fit in and belong to a group. It is natural that children want others to like them. Sometimes the group they want to join is using illegal drugs and tobacco and a teen may turn to these illegal drugs just to fit in and belong.

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Teaching kids the danger of alcohol and other drug use is not enough. Children need to learn how to refuse and avoid the use of illicit drugs. Parents have another and very important obligation, and that is, to help kids deal with peer pressure.  This is not an easy task to accomplish but it is not an impossible task.

Whenever you are in doubt of what you need to say or do to help your child, just remember these words: “Keep vigilant watch over your heart, that’s where life starts. Keep your eyes straight ahead; watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust. Proverbs 4:23-27!”

Early adolescence is a time of enormous and often confusing changes for a child, which makes it a challenging time for both your kids and you.  Being tuned in to what it’s like to be a teen can help you stay closer to your child and have more influence on the choices he or she makes — including decisions about using drugs or alcohol.

However, if you are one of those parents that are abusing drugs yourself, you are pouring fuel on a fire that might have already started to burn in your children’s lives.  We point this out because it is the reality of many parents raising children and at the same time they are using and abusing drugs themselves.  This makes you less an authority figure in your children lives and harms your relationship with them and your ability to help keep them away from drugs.

Therefore, we offer up this advice to you as a parent to help you help your children not to begin using drugs and becoming addictive to them.  Because here is how Drug Abuse is seen from a child’s perspective:  Before you decide to take that first drink, smoke that first joint/cigarette, snort your first hit of cocaine or any other substance that poses the chance of addiction, think, it’s not just about you.

Children are sometime victims as well and to help address issues and heal their wounds; let us consider for a moment:

  • Broken promises- do you break your promise of family time together, don’t keep your promise that you will not drink or use drugs on certain days; this can cause the child to grow up thinking they are not loved or important enough to you.
  • A victim of mood changes-always changing rules, loving one moment and abusive the next confuses the child.
  • The child may feel ashamed or embarrassed (especially around friends) because alcohol or drugs may turn a lovely parent into a total embarrassment.
  • May experience tension and fear, because the parent is a substance abuser the child never knows what might happen next, therefore they feel unsafe or live in fear in a place in an environment where they should other-wise feel safe and protected.
  • Guilt may become a pattern for the child because they may feel their parent’s behavior is their fault so they try to adjust to what pleases the parent, not able to recognize that substance abuse or Alcohol abuse is an illness and it’s not their fault.
  • Anger and hurt, children often feel neglected, mistreated, and less important and may grow up with a profound sense of abandonment. As some age they may copy the parents behavior at an early age and begin to experiment with alcohol and/or other drugs
  • Loneliness and isolation, because the family hides and or denies the problem they will not discuss it among themselves which causes the children to think they are the only one with the problem.
  • Lying as a way of life, the need to constantly cover failure of the parent.
  • Feels responsible/obligated, children often feel it is their job to organize and run the home or care for younger siblings; hide the problem from authorities in order to protect the parent.
  • Children are precious resource given to us by God to love and protect; he adore children.

One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off, but Jesus intervened; “Let the children alone, don’t prevent them from coming to me. God’s kingdom is made up of people like these.”  Are you one of these people?

We all are parents to the children of the world.  No child should ever be turned away when they are in need of tender loving care. It is up to each one of us to know the truth, because what you don’t know can put your child at risk.  You may think you already know enough about the drug culture because drugs were around when you were growing up.  You may have even tried marijuana when you were a teen.  Today, kids know more, are exposed to a greater variety of drugs and drug sources, from friends to music and the media.  Drugs are often cheaper and easier to find for kids today.  Educate yourself about the new drug culture and how you can help your children stay drug free and if they are not drug free, help them to get the proper treatment. Now before concluding this message, take a few minutes more and watch this video clip on a few Alcoholic facts.

It has been found that adolescents who enter treatment are more likely to achieve long-term sobriety than those who enter as adults, and the earlier they enter, the more effective the treatment will be. We know that in early adolescent years, youth are courageous and may have high-risk behaviors. They think nothing bad will happen to them. Today, using drugs is a dangerous risk for children. Parents must talk to their children and explain that using alcohol, illegal drugs and tobacco is not an acceptable risk-taking behavior, and the reason why is because, “CHILDREN ARE OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE!”  And as such, we as Parents, “ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN FROM DRUG ABUSE!”

 

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A Father’s Love (My Son Maximillion and His Baby Daughter) Photo by Pastor Davis)

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

When we are born we do not yet know how to speak or behave, yet we are born with the potential to learn things—before we were thought about, God already had a plan for our lives. Oh yes you shaped me first inside, and then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb Psalm 139:13 (Mgs).  The Father and Mother are chosen vessels to conceive and nurture the child until birth—and is to continue teaching and instilling knowledge and rules needed to develop social skills through the stages of growth and development.

Whether positive or negative there’s always a payoff to everything we do. Families are those whom we grow with and learn many of life’s lessons. Often that reality is shattered through divorce, broken-relationships, and finances. Interruption in the process of marriage/relationship can shift the responsibility of child care to either parent. Some men often assume the role of care taker and are seen as a stable force in the child’s life. A father is one that shows love and concern, offers encouragement and seeks to instill values that will enhance the child’s quality of life. Although society dictates parenting, especially in regards to the role of fathers there are those who care enough to provide their children with a positive environment. Maybe we as a society should focus more on the quality of care these fathers are capable of giving rather than quantity. Every case is different and recognizing the contributions of many male figures as fathers and role models may save a child from fate of the criminal justice system.  Therefore, I state to you, that when a father is embracing his children with love and encouragement he is then truly fulfilling his role which is, “A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN!”

HOW DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO FATHER’S ABOUT THE RAISING AND DISCIPLINE OF THEIR CHILDREN?

HOW DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO FATHER’S ABOUT THE RAISING AND DISCIPLINE OF THEIR CHILDREN?

A Father and Son Moment (Pastor Davis and son Maximillion)

By Minister Shirley Rhodes  

Fathers as head of the family

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them. –Robert L. Evans

  • Fathers were once considered the head of the family and considered the provider and disciplinarian; that role today has been replaced with restrictions on their role as to how they raise their children within any means less favorable according to the government and society.  Many of the Christian values have been replaced with laws that forbid discipline by touching. According to the Scriptures children who are taught early will keep those values deep within even if they happen to choose a different path in life. A look into the Word that will give insight to fathers:

Children obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (Colossians 3:20-21—KJV)

Children do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master to no end.

Parents don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits (Mgs).

  • The book of Proverbs offers insight into behavior, warnings and consequences of disobedient children.

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it is the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish son is grief of his mother (10:1).

A wise son hears’ his father’s instructions; but a scorner hears rebuke (13:1). He that spares the rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastened him early (24).

A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish man despise his Mother (15:20).

Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers (17:6). A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him (25).

Punish thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying (19:18).

He that abuses his father and chases away his mother is a son that causes shame, and brings reproach (26).

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work is pure, and whether it is right (20:11).

Train up your child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (22:6). Foolish is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (15).

Withhold not correction from the child; for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and shall rescue his soul from hell (23: 13-14).

Hear my son and be wise, guide your heart in the way (19); Listen to your father that begat you, and despise not your mother when she is old (22). My sons, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways (26).

The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself brings his mother shame (29:15). Correct your son and he shall give you rest; he shall give delight unto your soul (17-18).

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)         

Teaching Kids Respect-My-Grand Son Tony Byars (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Remember, the process for training up a child to learn respect begins with you, “the parent.”  Set the example for your child.  You as the Parent have a duty to God and to your children to instruct them in the reasons for being respectful, study (Proverbs 1:84:16:20Ephesians 6:1-4). These verses should enlighten your mind on what God wants us to know about the proper role we play in raising our children to have and show respect for authority.

These principles equip your children for success in life and prepare them to assume their place in the kingdom. You as a Parent do more harm to your children by not instructing and re-enforcing these truths (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).

Your child mimics what you do — if your child sees you yelling, cursing, interrupting or being sarcastic, your child believes this behavior is natural, explains Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development expert. If you want your child to respect you, teach him or her how to do so.  If you want your child to have respected you and other authority figures you must give respect to your child. This means you support your child and his or her feelings. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, and refrain from saying anything negative that can hurt your child.  Respect is a two-way street. Just because you are an authoritative figure doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your child. Your child is a person too.

Let us be mindful that when God commands us to respect certain individuals it is assumed they are respectable. One of the difficult lessons to learn in life is that we are sometimes disappointed by those whom we have come to respect. Parents sin (Colossians 3:21); elders digress (1 Timothy 5:19-20); governments become corrupt (Psalms 9:17); men become wicked (2 Timothy 3:13). In times like these, we remember that the honor we give others, even the undeserving, is a reflection of the esteem with which we hold Christ (Ephesians 6:5-7).

English: Young saint Timothy with his mother

English: Young saint Timothy with his mother (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes the young demand respect for themselves. They are certainly entitled to the same honor which others receive (I Peter 2:17). However, the same assumptions hold for them as well, those honored are honorable and the respected are respectable. Paul admonished Timothy to let no man despise his youth (I Timothy 4:12). In order to accomplish that task Paul urged him to be an example in all areas of life. If we want to be respected we must learn it and earn it.

Now let us look at one of the most common and misunderstood ways that a child shows lack of respect for adults, it is by interrupting adult conversations.  For me as a child, this was truly a no, no. However, this is often done when a child continuously pulls on their Mother’s arm while saying, “Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie,” repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention. The child has demanded priority over the adult with whom her mother was speaking, and in essence has said, “Me first! I’m more important than you are!” The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.

A child who has something to say to parents who are engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his or her parent, making sure that his or her parent sees them. At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, “Excuse me one moment,” and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child’s question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child’s concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child’s.

When adults are engaged in conversation in the presence of children (for instance, at dinner), the children should not dominate or dictate the direction of the conversation. The way another generation expressed this thought was, “Children should be seen and not heard.” It is not that children should not speak at all, but that they should not think that they have equal status around the dinner table with the adults. Sitting quietly and learning to listen while at the dinner table is a key ingredient to a Childs ability to learn respect and proper communication with other adult figures.  Many children, if not taught respect by their parents, will actually dominate the conversation, making it impossible for the parents and guests to have an adult discussion.

Children should be taught to sit quietly and respond enthusiastically when spoken to, or when an adult shows an interest in them or their activities. They should be spirited responders, and not initiators, when adults are present.

We must always know our place and keep in mind, that we are the adults in the room, and we are either going to be the teacher are we are going to be taught by our children.  If we are Godly parents, we know that we must always remain in the will of God and be obedient to the word of God, knowing that everything we do our children is watching and learning from us.  A key ingredient to just how our children learn respect is through observation.  They learn how to honor their parents by observing how their parents honor one another (Ephesians 5:2829), and by seeing how their parents treat their grandparents (1 Timothy 5:4Matthew 15:6). They learn how to honor government by observing how their parents respect the law (I Peter 2:13-15Luke 20:25I Timothy 2:1-2). They learn how to honor their employers by observing how their parents honor theirs (Ephesians 4:286:6-72 Thessalonians 3:10). And, they learn to honor God by observing their parents do the same (Matthew 6:33).

Know this one truth, and that is God will always have the last word on how respect and honor works in our daily lives.  In (Ephesians 6:2-4 AMP) the word says this, “Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  This honor is due because parents have sacrificed so much for their children.  They are the guides, the providers and protectors of their offspring. Their love and sacrifice should command our respect; this is why God says, “It is right.”

The aged are worthy of our respect (Leviticus 19:32Proverbs 20:29). However, it is again assumed that they command that respect by their character (Proverbs 16:31;Job 32:9). The aged have attained wisdom through their experiences and spirituality (Job 12:12). Their lives have been a blessing to their families and communities because of their accomplishments. Their posterity is indebted to them for their accomplishments. We do stand on the shoulders of giants.

Now in conclusion let me leave you with this final perspective, why has this become such a problem in the 21st century? I submit to you that this should not come as a surprise to you because we have a generation of kids raising kids.  With our economy in the shape that it is in and both parents having to leave home for work just to make ends meet, we have turn over the raising of our children to the T.V. and video games.  Drugs and Alcoholic has invaded our communities and the drug addictions and early death rate of so many of our youth are causing grandparents and great grand parents to become parents to their grand children at a time when they are ill equipped to do so.  The children have already grown up with a bad attitude of disrespect for the adults and the authority figures that now must care for them.

While it is unfortunate, it is nevertheless often necessary to apply correction. A failure to do this when it is called for encourages further disrespect (Ecclesiastes 8:11). For this reason then, God has allowed for government to punish evildoers (Romans 13:24), the church to correct the unrepentant (Titus 1:132 Thessalonians 3:6), and parents to discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24).

Let me assure you, this is not the final word on this subject by no means; I will speak more on this subject again soon.  It is a subject that has many view points. In my next message I will have others to share their views on this subject until we all get a complete picture on what and how to deal effective with this matter.  If you have a point of view that you would like to share, please email it to me and I will consider it in my next lesson on this subject.  I leave you with my peace, that you may enjoy the benefits of God’s grace and mercy.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

TEACHING OUR CHILDREN (SHANIA A. BYARS) PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS

What happens when kids grow up disrespecting authority figures? We see the prison system all over the country is over crowded with young children who grew up not knowing what it meant to obey authority.  The grave yards are quickly becoming a place where young children are been sent because people have become so fed up with children robbing, beating, threaten and even murdering their parents and other adults that the public is fighting back and shooting and killing these children when their own lives are threaten.  Here in my city of Detroit, just two weeks ago a sixteen year old boy attempted a carjack, the man he attempted to carjack was armed and after ordering the kid to get out of his car and the kid refused, the man shot and killed the young boy.  This is a tragedy and failure on the parent’s part to teach their son that they must respect authority and not be out robbing, stealing and killing other people.  Prosecutors around the country are putting kids on trial from the age of 10 and up as adults.

Respect for authority begins in the home, if your children are not taught to show respect for their parents are other adults in their home and community, they will most certainly not show respect for the government, such as police, teachers, the courts, all other authority figures and the churchRespect for authority comes through the realization that it is set up to help us and not to control us.  It must begin when the children are young and can understand that they are loved and what is being taught to them is that we love them and how to love others by the love and respect that they are shown.

This does not mean that children obey all adults; they only have to obey those to whom their parents have delegated that authority, such as teachers, coaches, etc. However, there should be a deference given to adults by children because of their age and experience.

Respecting authority is something our children should do without any hesitations; however, before they can do this, they have to be taught the meaning of respect and how and why it has to be a key ingredient in all of our lives. All authority is from God (Romans 13:1). Learning to respect an authority, no matter who the particular authority figure is, is respecting God, and is foundational for our children’s future.

As a young person growing up in my community, we all were taught to refer to all adults by saying “Mr. and Mrs., yes Sir and yes Maim,” this was a sign of respect, and immediately set the adult apart from the child’s friends.  Not understanding the principle involved, many adults will say, “Call me (their first name).” A parent can then explain that using “Mr.” and “Mrs.” and the last name is being done for the child’s sake, to help him to learn to show respect for adults.

Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.

The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child’s natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.

Let us understand a very important thing as to respect, and that is age affects children’s respect. Both Children and adults deserve respect at every age. Here is a guideline based on age:

Babies – They are too young to show respect but when you meet their needs, they learn to trust you. This helps as they get older because respect for authority is based on trust.

Toddlers – They are old enough to learn to say “please” and “thank you”.

Preschoolers – This is a good time to teach rules and consequences.

Elementary age – They show the most respect for adults who make fair rules. It helps to let them have a say in the rules that they are expected to follow.

Middle and High Schoolers – Allow them to show independence, such as clothing or hairstyles, but make sure you have guidelines. They will appreciate the respect you are showing them. We respect you and the incredible job that you have, being a parent.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to equip our children to function well in the world, and if we

Picture of me showing love for my Grand Children

neglect that responsibility our children could easily wind up in prison are the graves.  No parent wants this for their child, therefore it is important that we address the needs of our children when they are born and stay with it no matter how difficult the task may become into their adult lives.

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect. Keep in mind that respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know you want what’s best for them, and the best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is. Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.  Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.  Although you may not realize it, your child must also respect herself or himself.
This concludes part one of a two part message.  Please read and study this as the first session of many to come on this message.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)         

Remember, the process for training up a child to learn respect begins with you, “the parent.”  Set the example for your child.  You as the Parent have a duty to God and to your children to instruct them in the reasons for being respectful, study (Proverbs 1:84:16:20Ephesians 6:1-4). These verses should enlighten your mind on what God wants us to know about the proper role we play in raising our children to have and show respect for authority.

These principles equip your children for success in life and prepare them to assume their place in the kingdom. You as a Parent do more harm to your children by not instructing and re-enforcing these truths (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).

Your child mimics what you do — if your child sees you yelling, cursing, interrupting or being sarcastic, your child believes this behavior is natural, explains Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development expert. If you want your child to respect you, teach him or her how to do so.  If you want your child to have respected you and other authority figures you must give respect to your child. This means you support your child and his or her feelings. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, and refrain from saying anything negative that can hurt your child.  Respect is a two-way street. Just because you are an authoritative figure doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your child. Your child is a person too.

Let us be mindful that when God commands us to respect certain individuals it is assumed they are respectable. One of the difficult lessons to learn in life is that we are sometimes disappointed by those whom we have come to respect. Parents sin (Colossians 3:21); elders digress (1 Timothy 5:19-20); governments become corrupt (Psalms 9:17); men become wicked (2 Timothy 3:13). In times like these, we remember that the honor we give others, even the undeserving, is a reflection of the esteem with which we hold Christ (Ephesians 6:5-7).

Sometimes the young demand respect for themselves. They are certainly entitled to the same honor which others receive (I Peter 2:17). However, the same assumptions hold for them as well, those honored are honorable and the respected are respectable. Paul admonished Timothy to let no man despise his youth (I Timothy 4:12). In order to accomplish that task Paul urged him to be an example in all areas of life. If we want to be respected we must learn it and earn it.

Now let us look at one of the most common and misunderstood ways that a child shows lack of respect for adults, it is by interrupting adult conversations.  For me as a child, this was truly a no, no. However, this is often done when a child continuously pulls on their Mother’s arm while saying, “Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie,” repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention. The child has demanded priority over the adult with whom her mother was speaking, and in essence has said, “Me first! I’m more important than you are!” The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.

A child who has something to say to parents who are engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his or her parent, making sure that his or her parent sees them. At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, “Excuse me one moment,” and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child’s question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child’s concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child’s.

When adults are engaged in conversation in the presence of children (for instance, at dinner), the children should not dominate or dictate the direction of the conversation. The way another generation expressed this thought was, “Children should be seen and not heard.” It is not that children should not speak at all, but that they should not think that they have equal status around the dinner table with the adults. Sitting quietly and learning to listen while at the dinner table is a key ingredient to a Childs ability to learn respect and proper communication with other adult figures.  Many children, if not taught respect by their parents, will actually dominate the conversation, making it impossible for the parents and guests to have an adult discussion.

Children should be taught to sit quietly and respond enthusiastically when spoken to, or when an adult shows an interest in them or their activities. They should be spirited responders, and not initiators, when adults are present.

We must always know our place and keep in mind, that we are the adults in the room, and we are either going to be the teacher are we are going to be taught by our children.  If we are Godly parents, we know that we must always remain in the will of God and be obedient to the word of God, knowing that everything we do our children is watching and learning from us.  A key ingredient to just how our children learn respect is through observation.  They learn how to honor their parents by observing how their parents honor one another (Ephesians 5:2829), and by seeing how their parents treat their grandparents (1 Timothy 5:4Matthew 15:6). They learn how to honor government by observing how their parents respect the law (I Peter 2:13-15Luke 20:25I Timothy 2:1-2). They learn how to honor their employers by observing how their parents honor theirs (Ephesians 4:286:6-72 Thessalonians 3:10). And, they learn to honor God by observing their parents do the same (Matthew 6:33).

Know this one truth, and that is God will always have the last word on how respect and honor works in our daily lives.  In (Ephesians 6:2-4 AMP) the word says this, “Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  This honor is due because parents have sacrificed so much for their children.  They are the guides, the providers and protectors of their offspring. Their love and sacrifice should command our respect; this is why God says, “It is right.”

The aged are worthy of our respect (Leviticus 19:32Proverbs 20:29). However, it is again assumed that they command that respect by their character (Proverbs 16:31;Job 32:9). The aged have attained wisdom through their experiences and spirituality (Job 12:12). Their lives have been a blessing to their families and communities because of their accomplishments. Their posterity is indebted to them for their accomplishments. We do stand on the shoulders of giants.

Now in conclusion let me leave you with this final perspective, why has this become such a problem in the 21st century? I submit to you that this should not come as a surprise to you because we have a generation of kids raising kids.  With our economy in the shape that it is in and both parents having to leave home for work just to make ends meet, we have turn over the raising of our children to the T.V. and video games.  Drugs and Alcoholic has invaded our communities and the drug addictions and early death rate of so many of our youth are causing grandparents and great grand parents to become parents to their grand children at a time when they are ill equipped to do so.  The children have already grown up with a bad attitude of disrespect for the adults and the authority figures that now must care for them.

While it is unfortunate, it is nevertheless often necessary to apply correction. A failure to do this when it is called for encourages further disrespect (Ecclesiastes 8:11). For this reason then, God has allowed for government to punish evildoers (Romans 13:24), the church to correct the unrepentant (Titus 1:132 Thessalonians 3:6), and parents to discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24).

Let me assure you, this is not the final word on this subject by no means; I will speak more on this subject again soon.  It is a subject that has many view points. In my next message I will have others to share their views on this subject until we all get a complete picture on what and how to deal effective with this matter.  If you have a point of view that you would like to share, please email it to me and I will consider it in my next lesson on this subject.  I leave you with my peace, that you may enjoy the benefits of God’s grace and mercy.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

 

 

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

What happens when kids grow up disrespecting authority figures? We see the prison system all over the country is over crowded with young children who grew up not knowing what it meant to obey authority.  The grave yards are quickly becoming a place where young children are been sent because people have become so fed up with children robbing, beating, threaten and even murdering their parents and other adults that the public is fighting back and shooting and killing these children when their own lives are threaten.  Here in my city of Detroit, just two weeks ago a sixteen year old boy attempted a carjack, the man he attempted to carjack was armed and after ordering the kid to get out of his car and the kid refused, the man shot and killed the young boy.  This is a tragedy and failure on the parent’s part to teach their son that they must respect authority and not be out robbing, stealing and killing other people.  Prosecutors around the country are putting kids on trial from the age of 10 and up as adults.

Respect for authority begins in the home, if your children are not taught to show respect for their parents are other adults in their home and community, they will most certainly not show respect for the government, such as police, teachers, the courts, all other authority figures and the churchRespect for authority comes through the realization that it is set up to help us and not to control us.  It must begin when the children are young and can understand that they are loved and what is being taught to them is that we love them and how to love others by the love and respect that they are shown.

This does not mean that children obey all adults; they only have to obey those to whom their parents have delegated that authority, such as teachers, coaches, etc. However, there should be a deference given to adults by children because of their age and experience.

Respecting authority is something our children should do without any hesitations; however, before they can do this, they have to be taught the meaning of respect and how and why it has to be a key ingredient in all of our lives. All authority is from God (Romans 13:1). Learning to respect an authority, no matter who the particular authority figure is, is respecting God, and is foundational for our children’s future.

As a young person growing up in my community, we all were taught to refer to all adults by saying “Mr. and Mrs., yes Sir and yes Maim,” this was a sign of respect, and immediately set the adult apart from the child’s friends.  Not understanding the principle involved, many adults will say, “Call me (their first name).” A parent can then explain that using “Mr.” and “Mrs.” and the last name is being done for the child’s sake, to help him to learn to show respect for adults.

Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.

The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child’s natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.

Let us understand a very important thing as to respect, and that is age affects children’s respect. Both Children and adults deserve respect at every age. Here is a guideline based on age:

Babies – They are too young to show respect but when you meet their needs, they learn to trust you. This helps as they get older because respect for authority is based on trust.

Toddlers – They are old enough to learn to say “please” and “thank you”.

Preschoolers – This is a good time to teach rules and consequences.

Elementary age – They show the most respect for adults who make fair rules. It helps to let them have a say in the rules that they are expected to follow.

Middle and High Schoolers – Allow them to show independence, such as clothing or hairstyles, but make sure you have guidelines. They will appreciate the respect you are showing them. We respect you and the incredible job that you have, being a parent.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to equip our children to function well in the world, and if we neglect that responsibility our children could easily wind up in prison are the graves.  No parent wants this for their child, therefore it is important that we address the needs of our children when they are born and stay with it no matter how difficult the task may become into their adult lives.

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect. Keep in mind that respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know you want what’s best for them, and the best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is. Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.  Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.  Although you may not realize it, your child must also respect herself or himself.
This concludes part one of a two part message.  Please read and study this as the first session of many to come on this message.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR RAISING OUR CHILDREN

There is enough blame to go around:

There is enough blame to go around when some say that it is liberalism that has caused the violence.  Others say that it is the removal of prayer from our schools.  Some say it is the steady stream of violence we see in the movies, on the nightly news cast, on all sorts of TV programs and especially the video games.

There are still others who blame the government for overtaxing us, and forcing parents to have to abandon their children for the workplace.  When it comes to youth using guns to settle their differences, there are those who would blame the gun manufacturers and the gun dealers.  But no where do we see anyone taking responsibility for what has happened.  Not the parents, schools, churches, business, government or the youth themselves.  No, everyone wants to place the blame on someone else.  It is time that we as parents begin to accept the major portion of responsibility and take control of our children’s lives and get the government out of our homes and bedrooms.  We as parents are responsible for raising our youth and it does take the whole community to be involved and always willing to lend a helping hand.

Parent’s Responsibility:

When I was a youth living in a small town, everyone knew everyone and no one was ever afraid to correct us if they saw us doing something wrong.  Today, if you correct a child when you see them doing wrong, you will have the parents knocking at your door for chastising their child.  You might even have the police come calling on you, if you are lucky that the child has not shot and killed you.  There is something badly wrong with this picture, but it is a true one today.

I can recall a time when I was in a vacation bible school; my wife at the time was teaching a Bible study class with one of our Associate Pastors.  I had been called outside to break up a disturbance.  When I came back into the church, this young man’s sister was standing in the middle of the church cursing my wife and the pastor out using all sorts of foul language.  I escorted her outside and attempted to talk with her to no avail.  She left and within a few minutes, just after things had gotten back to normal within the church class, the doors swung open with a loud bang and a loud voice began to roar from the rear of the church.  It was the mother of the two teenagers yelling and screaming at me with language worst than her children had used, telling me what she was going to do to me if I ever put my hands on her children again.

Now this mother was the chairman of the usher board within the church.  Not only were her children wrong, but she was wrong for the way she handled the situation.  Her children went home and lied to her about what had taken place at the church.  She was willing to believe the worst from them, and instead of coming to find out what was going on, she came in accusing me and others of striking her children when no such thing had taken place.  If this had happened when I was a youth, I would have gotten my butt whipped before I left the church, then I would have been taken home to my parents and they would have whipped my butt again.  But you see, in today’s political correctness society, there are too many parents who refuse to correct their own children and will not allow anyone in the churches, schools or the community to do so.  Therefore, the youth’s attitude is you are not my parents and you can’t tell me what to do.  This is a sad commentary for our youth and it is a factor that is contributing to the youth violence in America today.

Another part of this problem of correcting children is some of the abuse that some parents have perpetuated upon their children that has caused the government to get more involved in our daily lives.  We parents are responsible for our children and we must shoulder that responsibility with love, understanding and patienceChildren can be a problem.  There is much peer pressure on them.  They want to fit in with their friends, therefore as a parent, we must try to understand their changing life style, and the growth hormones as they experienced adulthood.  We must treat them with respect, try and understand that they too do have problems and they may not always share those problems with us.  But we must always be willing to put our arms around them and daily tell them that we love them, even though we may not be having the kind of conversation we would like to have with them.  But I tell you that there is power in love.  When our youth can feel within themselves that they are loved, it brings a much different kind of respect from them.

We must stop abusing our children at home as well as in public.  They have feelings too, and when we disrespect them in front of their peers with words and deeds, it brings out in them a disrespect for us as their parents.  I am not advocating not punishing your children.  But there is a right way and a wrong way to punish them when they do wrong.  I see some parents slapping their children in the face when they think they are in the wrong.  No matter whether they are home or in the general public, this shows disrespect for your children.  To me, there is never a reason to slap a child in the face.  This only shows your anger and lack of self control.  When you do this you are abusing your child.  You should never hit your child when you are angry, this only satisfies your anger and does nothing to correct the child’s behavior.  When your child does wrong, you should chastise them no matter where you are, but when they are teenagers, you should have so trained them in such a way, that you could let them know of your displeasure, and your child should respond for whatever they have done wrong until such a time you can speak to them about it, and punish them for the act, if punishment is call for.

The Bible tells us that, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”  (Proverbs 15:1-2).  Let us parents learn to become wise in dealing with our children, because our children are much wiser today than we were when we were youth.  Therefore, we must deal with them with a wise heart and the spirit of the Lord dwelling within us.

Correcting a child when they do wrong make you become a strong authority figure in that child’s life, and correct him or her you must.  If you don’t then the child sooner or later is going to control you.  Listen to what God tells us, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.”  (Proverb 22:15).

It further goes on to say, “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.  You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”  (Proverb 23:13-14). You see God is telling us that we must use the rod of correction to keep our children on a straight path.  We must use whatever means are at our disposal to correct their behavior and snatch them from the jaws of Satan.  The violence within our youth has gotten out of control and we as parents have allowed it by advocating the non use of the rod for correcting our children when they do wrong.

I can recall as a child, one of my greatest fears that kept me out of trouble and from doing wrong was having to get a beating from my father.  Now my father very seldom ever had to beat me, but when he did, I received no more than five or six licks from him.  But those few licks seemed to last for eternity, when they were being administered to me.  Many times my mother would use the threat of my father’s beating to keep the rest of us in line.  The mere threat of a beating from my father could cause me to break out in a cold sweat, and no, I did not die from the beating or was I harmed in any way because I am writing about it today.  The beatings that my mother and father administered to me, and my brothers and sisters were their way of teaching us to do the right thing and when we would do wrong, we would know the price we would have to pay.  The beating was also a way of showing how much they loved us and wanted us to grow up being obedient children and having love and respect for our fellowman.

On one occasion I was out with my father and my two youngest sons and my father was discussing the rearing of his children with some other parents.  And at that moment, I could see how proud my father felt about the way in which he had raised his six boys and three girls, when he told the other parents “that of all his eight children, none of them had ever been in jail or was on drugs.”  You see my father had no remorse for having beaten our butts when we did wrong.  However, since that day about four years ago, one of my brothers has become addicted to drugs.  But I will discuss this in another topic, dealing with drugs.  My father was and still is the authority figure in my life today.  I have the greatest respect for my father and have never spoken back to him or disrespected him in any way ever.  How many of you today can truthfully make this same statement?  This is a testimony of the way my parents raised me and the way parents are raising their children today.  I have attempted to raise my children with the same moral standards as my parents did with me.  I have used the rod on them and now uses that same rod on my grandchildren with their approval to help keep them in line and become a productive citizen within the community.  I am blessed to have had the opportunity to raise wonderful children.  The older ones have turned out great and have children of their own.

The Bible instructs us as parents to, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverb 29:17). Let us as parents begin to move away from the way of the world in its teaching and get into the teaching of God.  When we do, it will bring a much greater joy into our hearts for if we follow God’s way in correcting and instructing our children, listen to what he tells us about the reward we will have.  God says, “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.” (Proverb 29:17).

Now to you children, you must learn to be obedient and have respect for your parents, teachers and other elders.  Your lack of respect for authority is a hard thing to accept.  If you don’t do these things, you are only going to wind up in prison or be killed and neither one of these is an acceptable alternative.  Listen to what God instructs you to do,  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is Right.”  “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-4).

May we all grow to become better parents, study and learn from previous generations their ways and incorporate this into your knowledge today and together we can bring about change of attitudes for all and help to change the world and its way of doing things.

May the grace of God richly abound within you, keeping you strong and productive as you move forward in helping to meet the needs of all our children.

Today, I minister to you from a position of peace, purpose, power and prosperity in Jesus name.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

HAS SATAN BECOME THE AUTHORITY FIGURE IN RAISING YOUR CHILDREN

Group of children in a primary school in Paris

OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE

HAS SATAN BECOME THE AUTHORITY FIGURE IN RAISING YOUR CHILDREN

 The enemy has taken the fight to our youth…

Parents, are you willing to risk being run over by the children of your community?  What has God placed in your hands that might be attractive to them?  If we are to restore the path for our children, we must be willing to do what it takes to arrest their attention.  We must stop being passive and become pro-active in helping to bring about a change in their lives.  It might mean that we have to sacrifice our nice carpets and beautiful homes to bring them in.  If you are going to invite the children of the community into your home, your carpet will get dirty, and your patience will be, tried and tested.  How committed are we to lifting these kids out of their maze of misery?  In a sense, the children are our own pathways to the future.  If we ignore the children of our communities, we do so at the cost of our very own future.

Now listen up parents, Youth violence has gotten totally out of control, with no one knowing what to do or how to control what is happening with our youth that are destroying our communities.  Everyone is pointing the finger at the other.  If we could only stop for a moment, and take a good look at what is happening within our homes, schools, churches, work places and government offices, we will see the real enemy that has taken control and that is the old devil himself.  Yes, Satan has gotten control of every avenue of our children’s lives, and we all are standing around and blaming each other for all kinds of things rather than seeing the real enemy of God and that is Satan.  Satan knows that by spreading his violence among our youth, he can begin to penetrate Gods kingdom by causing them to become addictive to drugs, alcohol, joining gangs, killing each other, killing their parents, then committing suicide themselves.  You see Satan truly has his game plan together, while we are sitting around blaming each other for the many evil deeds that our youth are committing.  Some of us are locking ourselves within our homes afraid of our youth, afraid we might be next.  It is a sad day in America when we as adults have become so fearful of our youth, when our future lies in the very ones we are fearful of.  I do realize that some of our youth have gone astray and it should give us a very good reason to pause and take a good look at what is happening within our society as a whole.  Look at just how we as parents and grandparents are raising our own children, allowing them to tell us what to do are not to do.  These are the same youth, that are taking control of our communities and threaten all of us that we have become so fearful of.

Stop blaming and start acting…

There is enough blame to go around when some say that it is liberalism that has caused the violence.  Others say that it is the removal of prayer from our schools.  Some say it is the steady stream of violence we see in the movies, on the nightly newscast, on all sorts of TV programs, and especially the video games.

There are still others who blame the government for overtaxing us, and forcing parents to have to abandon their children for the workplace.  When it comes to youth using guns to settle their differences, there are those who would blame the gun manufacturers and the gun dealers.  But no where do we see anyone taking responsibility for what has happened.  Not the parents, schools, churches, business, government, or the youth themselves.  No, everyone wants to place the blame on someone else.  It is time that we as parents and grandparents begin to accept the major portion of responsibility, and take control of our children’s lives and get the government out of our homes and bedrooms.  We as parents are responsible for raising our youth and it does take the whole community to be involved and always willing to lend a helping hand.

It is time for Parents to take a stand and fight a good fight…

 When I was a young boy growing up in a very small community in South Carolina, everyone knew everyone and no one was ever afraid to correct any child of the community, if they saw us doing something wrong.  Every parent and grandparent was responsible for every child of the community.  Today, if you correct a child when you see them doing wrong, you will have the parents knocking at your door for chastising their child.  You might even have the police come calling on you, if you are lucky that the child has not shot and killed you.  There is something badly wrong with this picture, but it is the reality of the world we live in today.

 Another part of this problem of correcting children is some of the abuse that some parents have perpetuated upon their children that has caused the government to get more involved in our daily lives.  We as parents are responsible for our children and we must shoulder that responsibility with love, understanding and patience.  Children can be a problem.  There is much peer pressure on them.  They want to fit in with their friends, therefore as a parent, we must try to understand their changing life style, and their growth hormones as they experience adulthood.  We must treat them with respect, try to understand that they too do have problems and they may not always share those problems with us.  Nevertheless, we must always be willing to put our arms around them and daily tell them that we love them, even though we may not be having the kind of conversation we would like to have with them.  However, I tell you that there is power in love.  When our youth can feel within themselves that they are loved, it brings a much different kind of respect from them.  However, we must never compromise our principles and allow our children to be disobedient and disrespectful to us are the people that are in authority.  We must stand our ground and always be willing to discipline them with love.  We must always remain strong and keep our focus on raising our children to become responsible and loving adults, ready and capable of taking on the mantel of future leaders within their communities and of the world.  We must never except defeat as a way of giving up on our children.

We must believe that we as a chosen disciple of the one living God has been given the power to change the course of our destiny by changing the way we view our children and the people that are committing the evil crimes within our communities.  We should never forget that evil survives because we choose to let it rule over us.  We must resist it on every hand, using the power that God gives us, and believe me, we do have the power to stand up and take the fight to the enemy.  God has given us that power if we choose to use it.  All we have to do is call on him.  He said that he would never leave us or forsake us.  He will always be right there with us even until the end of time.

Standing up to the enemy may not be the way you would view your mission in this world, but if you don’t, who will?  Sometimes we have to just say no to the enemy, and do what is unpopular at the time even if our life depends on it.  If we stand up for Christ we are most certain to lose our life, but what are we living for any way.  This world is not our home; we are just passing through on our way to our eternal home.  We must be prepared to face the enemy with all our strength and might.  Then and only then will the enemy have a sense of who we are.  The enemy will always feel that he is the biggest and baldest bully in town as long as we allow him to back us down.  There comes a time in our lives when we must say no backing away or running away from a situation that I can no longer tolerate.  This enemy is threaten my family, my community, my way of life, and if I don’t do something about it right now, I will no longer have a family or community to live in, because he is taken it all away.  It is up to me to bring an end to this right here and now.

 

 

 

 

SPOILED YOUR CHILD ARE DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD

Our children are the most important asset that we have in this world. Raising them properly is a lifetime labor of love. For many parents the proper way to discipline our children seems to be the most difficult thing to do. The Bible teaches corporal punishment, whether the modern experts agree or not. To withhold punishment from a child when it is deserved is to encourage the child in sin and thus to contribute to his eventual ruin. The parent who spares his rod might think he is manifesting love, but God says it is hatred. Here is how the Bible describes it, “He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early.” (Proverbs 13:24 Amplified)

The parent who genuinely loves his child does not condone naughtiness, but discipline the child promptly. We all know children who have been properly discipline will always bring delight and rest to their parents instead of anxiety and heartache. Once again listen to how the Bible describes corporal punishment, “Correct your son and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your heart.” (Proverbs 29:17 Amplified)

Are Your Children Spoiled?

By Katherine Kam WebMD Feature Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

If you are spoiling your children, you’ll know it. They’re rude to you and other adults. They won’t share with other children. They will act bossy and demand to be first in line. They don’t answer your questions and ignore your instructions. If you deny them a new toy or treat, you’ll face a tempest of crying, howling, and little fists pounding the floor.

Feeling defeated? Nowadays, many parents do. But it’s not too late to curb spoiled behavior, child psychologists tell WebMD. In fact, they say, your child’s ultimate happiness depends on it.

“I think most parents know when their kids are spoiled, but they feel kind of helpless to do anything about it,” says Richard Bromfield, PhD, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of How to Unspoil Your Child Fast.

During more than 25 years in a private counseling practice in the Boston area, Bromfield has seen the gamut. A young boy who ordered his mother around and scolded her sharply for giving him yogurt when he wanted pretzels. An 8-year-old girl who cried and screamed when her mom and dad went to dinner or a movie without her, prompting frantic calls from the babysitter that sent her parents scurrying home. Or children who sass their parents for refusing them anything: “You stink.” “You’re a terrible mother.” “I hate you.”

When spoiled youngsters become teenagers, they’re more prone to excessive self-absorption, lack of self-control, anxiety, and depression, says Dan Kindlon, PhD, author of Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.

“If you give kids so much early on, they get to a point where they can’t be satisfied with anything,” says Kindlon, who is also a clinical and research psychologist at Harvard University.

When mothers and fathers stop spoiling their children, Bromfield says, not only will they feel less frustrated as parents, they’ll also prepare their children to handle life’s curve balls — a tough task for kids who have always gotten their way.

So where do you start? Here are steps you can take to regain control.

1. Commit yourself wholeheartedly to stop spoiling your children.

“You have to commit. If you do it halfway, it’s better than not at all, but it’s not going to work until you really do it,” Bromfield says. For example, a parent who wants a child to start cleaning his room has to make sure that the job gets done right. “If they pick up one crayon and a piece of clothing and that’s it, it isn’t going to work,” he says.

In Bromfield’s experience, parents who take their new mission seriously see fairly quick improvements in their child’s behavior, he says. “A 10-year-old spoiled child does not need 10 years of reversal. Kids are smart and resilient and they want to grow right, so it’s generally not too late.”

2. Replace empty threats with clear, calm, concise instructions.

“Kids hear their parents say, ‘stop, no, it’s the last time.’ All the screaming and the counting to three and the threats — we have trained them to ignore us for 11 hours because they know that in the 12th hour, they’re going to get their way,” Bromfield says. “I tell parents to say what you mean. If you just say the words and say what’s going to happen and stick to it, that’s what has the power — the consequence. You don’t even have to yell.”

Also, avoid the trap of over-explaining or haggling endlessly over routine matters, such as tooth-brushing, turning off the video game, or bedtime. Your child will only argue with you like a pint-sized lawyer, Bromfield says. Think about it, he says: Does your 11-year-old son really need hundreds of nightly reminders about the benefits of dental hygiene if he’s smart enough to memorize 493 species of Pokemon?

3. Provide consistent discipline and consequences.

“Actions speak louder than words,” Bromfield says. Cut the chatter and provide concrete consequences, he suggests. “Is tooth-brushing a problem for your child? Try no treats for the entire next day. No warnings, no threats, just a total prohibition of sugar and sweets for the next 24 hours. Does he refuse to [pick] up his toys? Put them all away for a few days, period.” At first, your child may whine and cry, but don’t give in to tantrums. “Children need to grow used to handling reasonable limits without feeling devastated, rejected, and unloved.”

4. Avoid rescuing or overprotecting your child.

Is your daughter always late for school? Stop nagging and let her suffer the consequences of constant tardiness, Bromfield says. It sounds simple, but most parents are quick to rush in and rescue. His advice: “Unless the children are in danger, let them stew in the messes they make.”

Parents who repeatedly shield their children from consequences thwart their growth in character, experts say.

5. Ask yourself if you’re overindulging your child materially. 

Many parents shower their children with gifts and never require them to earn something on their own, experts say. But spoiling your children with all the toys, clothes, and electronic gadgets they want deprives them of important life lessons, such as saving up for a treasured possession, Bromfield says. “If you get everything, you don’t learn gratitude. If you never have to wait, you don’t learn patience.”

The psychologist says that he sees mothers who buy themselves $12 dresses at discount stores, but think nothing of spending $200 on their child’s shoes. Instead, try to cut back on excessive spending and shift some responsibility to your child to do chores or save allowance money for purchases.

In these hard economic times, more parents may simply be being forced to say no, Bromfield says. “The fact that people are struggling is not a good thing, but there might be a mixed blessing. Because of financial limits, people are probably giving their kids less. I see a lot of parents who are struggling with this because they’re feeling really badly. But I see this as an opportunity. In the way that the stock market and real estate prices are correcting, I think over-indulgent parenting is correcting, too.”

6. Stay on Track  

Despite a parent’s best intentions to stop spoiling a child, lots of things can derail the effort, experts say, including fatigue or being overwhelmed by work responsibilities or marital troubles. “Parents will backslide and undermine their progress,” Bromfield says.

What’s the secret to getting back on track?

“Parents can remind themselves that the reason they’re going to give in is a selfish reason — because it’s easier,” Kindlon says. “Remind yourself that you didn’t hesitate when the child, as a 2-year-old, wanted to drink the Chlorox. You had to take it away from them, right? Even if they said they hated you and they screamed, you didn’t feel bad about that. You have to develop the same mind-set and realize that this is best for them.”

Kindlon recently worked with a man who remembers how he chafed in his youth at his father’s steady discipline and refusal to spoil him. As the man recalls gratefully now, “My father told me, ‘I don’t care if you like me now. I want you to like me when you’re 40.’”

Why Do We Spoil Our Children?

Children don’t become spoiled because they’re innately bad, Bromfield says. Instead, a “spoiling” parent who doesn’t provide limits and structure can foster self-centered behavior in kids.

In more than two decades of counseling families, Bromfield has seen spoiled children become more prevalent, he says. Today, parents spoil their children for myriad reasons. They’re unsure about how to discipline children, they’re too tired and overworked to make an effort, they’re afraid of damaging their youngster’s self-esteem, or they fear that their children will become angry and dislike them. And, here’s a biggie: some parents spoil their children intentionally because it feels good, Bromfield says. “They find it gives them true pleasure to see their child happy, and they just always want that to happen.”

No one is advocating a return to a strict and distant child-rearing style from the past. But today’s parent-child relationships, marked by more emotional closeness, spontaneity, and friendship, pose both advantages and pitfalls.

“Today’s parents tend to be less comfortable with their authority,” Bromfield says. “Instead of telling their child what to do, they ask. Demands become questions. Questions become special elections.”

For example, “Look at what ‘Please hand me that stick’ can morph into at the playground,” he says: “‘Can you pretty please give Mommy the stick, and then we’ll go to the candy store?’”

But a child who controls parents is actually out of control, Bromfield says.

He recalls one couple who “walked on eggshells” around their preschooler to avoid triggering the boy’s rages. Why was he so angry? In part, Bromfield says, “he felt frightened of his own aggression because even his parents, rather than stand up to him, would give in to him.”

“Kids want their parents to be parents,” Bromfield adds. As he writes in his book, “A child needs boundaries and structure to grow and will seek them when they are absent. A child who perpetually pesters her parent may be searching for the limits she needs to grow straight. Her demanding and destructive behavior is meant, to a great degree, to test you, her parent, to find out what outrageous reaction will finally get you to react — constructively.”

Unchecked, a child’s sense of entitlement and spoiled behavior can spill over into the classroom, sports team, and play dates, causing rejection from other children. “Even brats hate being brats,” Bromfield says. “They will be the first ones to know that their selfishness is getting in the way. They will show you, even as they’re defending themselves, that they’re envious of kids who aren’t selfish.”

THE LESSONS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

MOM AND DAD GOD'S SERVANTS

 My Mother played the most important role in shaping my life from the day I was born until the day God called her back home.  Today, I honor my Mother for who she was, for who I am and for who we both are in God, and I salute and honor all Mothers because God created you and gave you a special place of honor in this world to never be taken away by man.

God never meant that every woman should be a Mother, however, He did command that women should be fruitful and multiply.  The Bible tells us that whom the Lord blesses to be Mothers should take the responsibility seriously. Mothers have a unique and crucial role in the lives of their children. Motherhood is not a chore or unpleasant task. Just as a mother bears a child during pregnancy, and just as a mother feeds and cares for a child during infancy, so mothers also play an ongoing role in the lives of their children, whether they are adolescents, teenagers, young adults, or even adults with children of their own. While the role of motherhood must change and develop, the love, care, nurture, and encouragement a mother gives should never cease.

To me, the greatest thing we have is life.  In addition, where there is life as the old adage goes there is hope.  So maybe, if we can get into choosing life, it will not be as difficult as we might imagine.

One of the greatest lessons my Mother taught me was that I must take responsibility for choosing and defining my own life.  When I do, “she said, God will lift you up on the wings of an eagle and you can fly away to that place of peace and tranquility that nothing can stop you from living the life you desire.”  I took my Mother’s advice and it changed my entire life.

Today I believe most people are afraid of life.  I do not know why it is.  We are afraid to be what we are!  We get marvelous, insane feelings and we do not act on them.  As you see someone really attractive and you think, “I am going to tell her she’s really beautiful.”  Then you think, “Oh, I cannot do that.”  Then she goes all of her life not knowing she is beautiful!  It is a shame because if we really do not live fully we keep other people from living fully!

We are afraid of living life, therefore, we do not experience, we do not see.  We do not feel.  We do not risk!  We do not care!  Therefore we do not live, because life means being actively involved.  Life means getting your hands dirty.  Life means jumping in the middle of it all.  Life means falling flat on your face.  Life means going beyond yourself into the stars!

Nevertheless, you must decide yourself, for yourself.  “What does life mean to me?”  I am convinced if we spent as much time—no, one quarter as much time each day thinking about life, living, and loving as we do planning a meal, we will be incredible!

Nevertheless, life has a wonderful way of solving this problem.  It is always very fascinating to me because when life is not being lived, it explodes in us.  It is like trying to hold the lid on when the steam is ready to blow.  Something will happen I am convinced of it.  You will either turn to extremes of fear, pain, loneliness, paranoia, or apathy.  All signs that you are not alive, you are not living!  So if you are feeling any of these things, roll up your sleeves and say, “Let me live.”  The minute you start getting involved in life, the steam lets off, and you are safe.  It is easy, but life lets us know that it must be led.  How wonderful!

My Mother experienced this in her own way, and she used her knowledge of living and loving to teach me how to reach for the moon, and if for some reason I could not grab hold of it, I would truly be among the stars.  Because God provided all His children with the power to choose life and to live it to the fullness of all there is.

Now I truly know that there is a thing called joy, because I have felt it.  In addition, there is such a thing as marvelous madness because I have lived it.  Moreover, I know there is such a thing as loving because I have loved.  And I know there is such a thing as ecstasy because I have known ecstasy.  And I also know, because I have known people who have experienced it, and you can too.  Now think back about some of the lessons your Mother taught you, grab hold of them and begin to experience the joy of this life.  It is yours now enjoy it.

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