Posts tagged ‘Family’

HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY MOM SUNDAY AFTERNOON PRAISE SERVICE

HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY MOM SUNDAY AFTERNOON PRAISE SERVICE

WRITTEN BY SHIRLEY RHODES

A good woman is hard to find and worth far more than diamonds (Proverbs 1:10-31, MGS).

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in Fear-Of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her with praises.

Flowers are known as the reproductive organ in plants and when combined into a bouquet there’s beauty and sweet aroma to enjoy. This represents essence and strength of a Mothers’ Love.

GIVE MOTHER HER FLOWERS (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

GIVE MOTHER HER FLOWERS (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

This Mothers’ Day do something different and special for Mom; set a table for two, share in some good conversation, laugh and give her a big old fashion strong hug because she deserves it. Do not ever forget, “Mothers are a Gift to be treasured and that means your Mom is included.”

TEA FOR TWO (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

TEA FOR TWO (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

Remember, your Mother is many women; she is a teacher, she is a doctor, a lawyer, a business executive, a stay-at-home mom; the list is endless as to her capabilities. The role of Mother follows many paths and is done so in such a way that she is able to understand the needs of others. Strength, dignity, and grace are her badge of honor; she is adored by her family. Gods’ design for Mother is not determined by labels of who she is because he has created her for his purpose.  As she grow in wisdom and grace her beauty shines through as a tower of hope and strength for those who may not have as of yet mastered the skill.

MOTHER IS A WOMAN WHO PLAY MANY ROLES (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

MOTHER IS A WOMAN WHO PLAY MANY ROLES (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

Our Mothers’ worry about us in ways that we can never understand, while we are off during our own thing, mother is lying awake at night, silently praying to God to hold our hand, walk with us, keep us safe and bring us back home to them.  Click on this video clip and, REMEMBER!”

A Mother seeks answers when she asks questions:

When a Mother asks, “How can you say you love me?

How often do you call, write or text message?

How often do you ask if I’m well?

How often do you visit, sit and talk for “a spell?”

How often do you think to send flowers or a card?

Do you ever wonder if I worry about you?

Do you ever wonder if I’ve had sleepless nights because I’m concerned about you?

Do you ever wonder if I pray for you and keep you close to my heart?

She ask these questions because she is able to see that we live busy lives and have very little time to share. She ask these questions because  she  see through the eyes of a Mother who loves enough to set you free, but  loves unconditionally.  She is your Mother.  HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY MOM!

This is a song of praise by Kirk Franklin taken from my Gospel Praise Playlist.  It contains 30 plus songs of praise that are listed on my utube channel.  Click on the link below and subscribe to and listen to many great songs and teaching that are featured on my Channel. Click on playlist on the left side of the page and enjoy:  http://www.youtube.com/user/davistheteacher?feature=mhee

A TRIBUTE TO MOTHERS WHO HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN TO GUN VIOLENCE

A TRIBUTE TO MOTHERS WHO HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN TO GUN VIOLENCE

WRITTEN BY SHIRLEY RHODES

TRAGEDY IN NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT PHOTO BY SHEER INVESTIGATION.COM 03

TRAGEDY IN NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT PHOTO BY SHEER INVESTIGATION.COM 03

Just a few months ago, a deranged individual with an assault weapon walked into a school located in Newtown, Connecticut and took the lives of 26 young people.  Since then more than 3,900 Mothers’ have lost their children to gun violence and will not be able to hug their children this Mothers’ Day, nor receive a Mothers’ Day wish from their children.  This is truly a tragedy that none of us can comprehend unless we are one of those Mother’s that have lost a child to gun violence.

So many hearts have been broken; so many tears have been shed because the family chain has been broken. Gun violence has taken many young lives and those Mothers have come to know the meaning of shattered and broken.

For those Mothers who have experienced such tragedy and pain, let me encourage you as one Mother to another, please allow this Mothers’ Day to be a time of release and reflection. Take a moment and look around you and you will see your child in the elements of the world God has created.  Look at the flowers as they bloom and beacon you to come closer, see the beauty of the birds as they cross your path, excited and having fun with one another, see the brightness of the sun as the raise beams down upon your body, feel the gentle breeze of the wind as it sweeps across your face and you here in it a soft and sweet voice that says to you, “Hi Mommy, I love you, then you pause, look all around you, and say, I love you also baby!” Now embrace it as a memory of the child that once occupied your space.  Know that they are always there ready to wipe away the tear drop from your eyes and give you encouragement and strength to carry on and fight the good fight that will help others survive the tragedy that took their young, tender and precious lives.

Remember the words of Job: We are all adrift in the same boat: too few days, too many troubles. We spring up like wildflowers in the desert and then we wilt transit in the shadow of a cloud (Job 14: 1-2, MGS).

Allow the memories of your loved one to linger as long as you like but rest assured your child was blessed to you for a season and within that season take the memories and cherish them.

Allow yourself time to mourn and then embrace life as it is given each day because it is a gift that cannot be replaced.  God bless each Mother who have lost a child to violence and may your journey be one traveled in the assurance that at any given moment you will greet your loved one in a unique way, that’s how God have designed it. May you be blessed abundantly this Mother’s Day, 2013?

MOTHER'S DAY ROSE (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

MOTHER’S DAY ROSE (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME THE LESSON OF FORGIVENESS

MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME THE LESSON OF FORGIVENESS

A Mother’s Arms (Photo by Pastor Davis)

MY MOTHER was truly an inspiration to my soul.  Whenever I felt someone had hurt me, she would simply say, “Son, don’t hold a grudge against them, you must find in your heart the words to forgive them.”  I would say, “but Mom, it hurts, how can I forgive them, they hurt me.”  Son, if you truly want to stop the pain, you must release it and let it go, forgiveness is the only way to your personal peace.

MY MOTHER was a godly woman, she loved and feared the Lord, and she made sure that I understood what she meant when she said I must forgive those who would seek to do harm to me. Now let me share with you the lesson MY MOTHER taught me on FORGIVENESS.  She begin by saying, “Son if the LORD can forgive us of our sins, why do we have such a difficult time of forgiving others when we perceive them to have done us wrong?  Getting rid of our heart aches and pains begins with us.  We must learn to free ourselves of all the negative baggage we carry around each and every day with our unforgiving spirit.

FORGIVENESS works the miracle of change.  When Lincoln was asked why he did not destroy his enemies, he replied:  “If I make my enemies my friends, don’t I then destroy them?”  When you forgive you change others and you change yourself.  You change discord to harmony.

FORGIVENESS should span the years.  You should first forgive yourself for the wrongs you’ve done to yourself and others, for the mistakes you’ve made.  Then you should forgive and bless all those who have wronged you during your lifetime.  Thus you release others and you release yourself.  You break the chains of regret and remorse that bind you.  You free your mind from the burdens of the past so you may walk victoriously into the future.

FORGIVENESS works two ways.  You must forgive to be forgiven.  “He who cannot forgive others,” wrote Edward Herbert, “breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass; for every man has the need to be forgiven.”

FORGIVENESS should become a habit.  When THE MASTER was asked how often we should forgive, he answered: “Until SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN.”  He who forgives to infinity will never hate.

FORGIVENESS should start now.  Putting off forgiving only deepens the wound.  Clinging to bitterness postpones happiness.  Life is short, time is fleeting.  Today is the day to forgive.

FORGIVENESS is the way to personal peace.  It is performing mental surgery in yourself, probing deep within to remove hurts, grudges and resentments.  It is forgetting wrongs as though they had never been.  It is flooding your mind with the powerful medicine of forgiveness that cleanses and heals.  It is discovering a serenity you’ve never known before.

Then with her big beautiful brown eyes, looking and penetrating deep into my soul, the softness of her voice changing, she said, “you may not understand all that I am telling you at this moment, but when the time is right it will all come to you and you will get it and use it to help your own children and others to understand that we all must learn the art of forgiveness.

So on this Mother’s Day weekend, I salute My Beloved Mother for teaching me the art of forgiveness.

LESSONS LEARNED FROM MY MOTHER

LESSONS LEARNED FROM MY MOTHER

WRITTEN BY SHIRLEY RHODES

Photo of Me and My Mother

Photo of Me and My Mother

 

I see my mother as a Spirit created by God with purpose; a tower of strength, patience, and humbleness.  She selflessly met the needs of family as well as others whom she encountered.  Her home was one with plenty of activity as children found solace as part of the family.  She never turned away anyone who came to visit.  She was always willing to share of her bounty.  She was a disciplinarian, a firm glance with eyes that could see the truth in you.  There was no way to avoid issues you may have thought private, it was almost like she was a mind reader.  She always offered encouraging words to others while pushing her own children to move beyond their own capabilities.  She had a heart that loved you no matter what she saw on your face or heard from your lips.  She would gently instruct and give guidance to all children of the community.  Her large heart was so full of the lives of others, held dear with barely enough room for herself in there.  Her legacy today is remembered by those who had the opportunity to meet her and her love will always guide us as a family to do what’s right, simply because she was a living example of godliness.  She was my Mother, my friend and I loved her dearly.  Happy Mothers’ Day Mom, I know you are watching.

What about you, what are some of the lessons you have learned from your Mother that you would like to share with others?  Just click into the comment box below, or you can email me at:  davismbyarsjr@gmail.com  I respond to all my emails.  May God add a blessing to all the Mothers of this world?  You are so unique and will always hold a special place in all our hearts here at this Ministry.  We love you and truly do appreciate you, and will always be lifting you up that others may see the light of God shining from within you.  May Gods’ Peace be with you throughout this Special Mothers’ Day Week Celebration in your honor?

 

WILL YOU JOIN OUR WEEK LONG CELEBRATION HONORING THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD?

WILL YOU JOIN OUR WEEK LONG CELEBRATION HONORING THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD?

A bouquet of Red Roses for your Mother (Photo by Pastor Davis)

A bouquet of Red Roses for your Mother (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Let me remind you that beginning Monday Morning, we will begin a weeklong celebration service honoring our dear Mothers from around the globe.  Please join with us each day and share your thoughts and prayers with one of our most precious resources and that is our Mothers.  For the Bible teaches us to honor our Mothers that our days will be long upon this earth.  Each one of you can be a part of this celebration by returning here daily and sharing a word with our tens of thousands readers from all over the world.  In our comment section just give a big shout out to some of the thousands of Mothers that will be reading these articles daily. One of them could be your very own Mother.  Help us to lift the Spirits of our Mothers who have sacrificed so much that we may enjoy the fruits of this world.  I thank you for your participation in our Week long Celebration and Honor of our very Beautiful, Sweet and Loving Mothers.  May God add a blessing to each one of you for what you will bring to the Spiritual Table in honor of our Mothers!

A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE

A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE

THE BYARS FAMILY CREATED BY GOD  (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

THE BYARS FAMILY CREATED BY GOD (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

We have entered a brand new year, the old, we have left behind.  All things new lie ahead, and therefore present us with our greatest challenges of all time.  The question then becomes, “how do we solve our family problems in this new year that divided our family in the old year?”  This is a very important question that must be placed at the head of our list of problems to be resolved in 2013, but resolve them we must, because, “A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE!”

Satan is our greatest enemy, and he is continuing his work of divide and conquers.  He knows that families, a church are a business that is divided against its self eventually destroys itself from within.  Therefore, every opportunity he gets, he pushes our hot buttons to make us war against each other.

The time has come for us to learn to lean and depend on the one who has already defeated Satan, to show

LADY WISDOM TRUTH-BE ENCOURAGED (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

LADY WISDOM TRUTH-BE ENCOURAGED (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

us the way of bringing cohesiveness into our families that will triumph over the evilspirits that have divided us in the past.  We are victories, because God has given us the victory to lead our families to victory in 2013.  No weapon formed against us shall prosper.  That means no matter what Satan attempts to do with his limited powers by pitting one member of the family against another member, if we are leaning, depending and trusting in God, Satan is doomed and we can return our families to greatness by knowing the truth.  The bible teaches us in John 8:32 this simple message, “Know the truth and the truth will set you FREE.”

Leaders within the families must stand strong, processing a strong moral character and not comprise their moral integrity for the evil that Satan will present to them.  The Pharisees were a perfect example of presenting division within the family, and Jesus was the perfect example of a leader who presented a strong moral character and showed us the standards by which we must stand on to be a great leader for our familiesJesus said to them, “Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to GodWealth is treacherous, and the arrogant are never at rest. They open their mouths as wide as the grave, and like death, they are never satisfied. In their greed they have gathered up many nations and swallowed many peoples.  (Habakkuk 2:4-5 NLT)

BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED LEADERS IN THE FAMILY

BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED LEADERS IN THE FAMILY

As a leader in our families, our job is to be a servant leader.  Follow the example of Jesus and become a humble servant and serve all humanityFamily members will present you with some of the greatest challenges you will ever encounter.  But you must know how to overcome the feuding by following the example of JesusJesus knew Satan’s strategies and just how he would apply them to bring about division within the familyJesus said to them,Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart. And if Satan is casting out Satan, he is divided and fighting against himself. His own kingdom will not survive. (Matthew 12:25-26 NLT)

Your strong moral character must be the example in which the family in 2013 will rally around and find their moral compass to move towards the purpose and destination that God has already laid out for them.  Remember, just as a good tree bears good fruit and a diseased tree bears inedible fruit, so the fruits of a person’s life will show the quality of his or her characterFruit is a comprehensive word, referring to teaching, character, and action.  Our character is revealed by our conduct.

We have ministered this word to you today from a position of PEACE, PURPOSE, POWER and PROSPERITY.  We encourage you to think globally as you work locally to bring about a change within the family in 2013.  Making it stronger, more cohesive and less divisively.  Empowering it with love, growing it with a purpose, as God blesses you, moles you and shapes you into a powerful, yet humble servant that is capable of moving the family into the realm of possibilities and bringing about the prosperity that is desired for the family in 2013.  I remain your brother in CHRIST JESUS, PASTOR DAVIS/MASTER TEACHER!

Remember, “A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE”  Therefore, the time to bring about a change in family unity is now.

 

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Words have a power all their own

Words have a power all their own (Photo credit: Lynne Hand)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Why Are Families Breaking Down?  

Written by Pastor Terry Coomer Elwood Bible Baptist Church, Elwood, Indiana 46036

 Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you this day whom you will serve: whether the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I am greatly burdened about the family in America. The direction we are going today is total destruction. There are many reasons for this. We live in a day when words like love, commitment, responsibility, compassion, faith, church, righteousness, common sense, God, the Word of God, mean virtually nothing. I believe that much of that is due to the breakdown of the family.

Folks, the Bible strongly emphasize the family. Today, if you try to encourage a family to do as God has commanded, you will hear comments like “that church or pastor is weird, strict, legalistic, or a cult.” Most of these people have no idea what a cult is and are too spiritually ignorant to see the breakdown that is affecting their family.

The weakness of the family today is the lack of knowledge of the Word of God and an unwillingness to obey the Word of God. 2 Timothy 3:15 says that Timothy knew the holy scriptures “from a child.” It is important for our children to know the Word of God. It takes parents who are willing to make the commitment to study the Word of God and then to teach it to their children. A child must learn to have a relationship with God through His Word. A family can never be right with God as long as the parents are not having a relationship with God through His Word.

The family is a divine creation. Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them; and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

The family was created before the church. The family is a unit. Certainly, the family affects the church. The family is a divine institution. Exodus 20:12 “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

I want you to notice something very important here, “father and mother” is a unit. It is important to understand that there is fidelity in that unit.

The family is important in the eyes of God, especially a godly family, which is rare today. (See Ephesians 6:22-33.)

How far away have we gotten from a godly family today? How far are we away from what the Word of God says on this issue? Unfortunately, very far. It is like night and day. The church today has done a miserable job. Most pastors are under tremendous pressure today to compromise the Word of God for entertainment. Many do compromise because they are afraid they will lose people. Many Independent Baptist Church bulletins look like an airline flight and departure schedule. The less time we can give to the Bible the more the average Christian likes it. They believe that activities make them spiritual rather than a relationship with God through His Word. Many Pastors seek to find out what works to draw a crowd rather than what is right. You have homes that are running themselves to death thinking they are doing the work of God.

Many churches today have ungodly music to appeal to the flesh so they can get a crowd. They cancel services where the word of God should be preached so they can have a southern gospel sing. These people do not worship God, they worship music and activities. It is nothing more than idolatry. Then they wonder why their kids grow up to live wicked, immoral, ungodly lives and have no desire for spiritual things. Divorce is rampant and we have many people living after the lusts of the flesh right in the church ministry. 2 Timothy 4:3 warns that “the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.” Folks, that time is now! You have people today running from church to church until they can hear it like they want it rather than what God really says. The way to build godly families is to have a good church that preaches the Word of God and stands for it. The parents who attend that church must desire the Word of God and take the time and have the commitment themselves to study the Word so they can teach the Word to their children.

I looked at some statistics for America. The numbers are alarming:

1.   Divorces granted 1970–708,000, 1980–1,170,000 up 65%
2.   Unmarried couples 1970–523,000, 1980–1,346,000 up 157%
3.   Persons living alone 1970–10,851,000, 1980–17,202,000 up 58.5%
4.   Children living with two parents 1970–58,926,000, 1980–48,295,000 down 18%
5.   Children living with one parent 1970–8,230,000, 1980–11,528,000 up 40.1%
6.   Families with both husband and wife working 1970–20,327,000, 1980–24,253,000 up 19.4%

These statistics reveal some serious problems that we are facing in the family, and these numbers were from a few years ago and are much worse now.

THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE BREAKDOWN OF THE HOME IS FATHERS NOT FULFILLING THEIR BIBLICAL ROLE OF LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME. This is the most important reason for unhappy families.

God says, worship is to be led by the father. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:9).

Most fathers I know could care less. This is a wicked thing. There is more to being a father than just producing children. The lack of leadership by the father today in every area is the most important factor in the breakdown of the American home. I pray the Lord will give us more men like Joshua.

Joshua 24:14-15, “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.”

There has to be a consecration by dad. There is more to a marriage than just living together in a physical relationship.

Lack of godly male leadership brings about the disastrous consequences of rebellion, delinquency, and sexual promiscuity. Divorce is usually caused by a father not taking his Biblical responsibilities and is something God hates, (See Malachi 2:12-17. Matthew 19:5-6.)

The most important cause of divorce in America is the lack of proper, godly leadership by the father and husband. It is also the most frequent cause of children’s feelings of rejection, behavioral problems, and anxieties.  Ephesians 6:1-4. Notice in verse 4, “And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “wrath” means a strong desire to avenge. How does a father provoke a child to wrath? By not bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture means training with structure. Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father.

David Blankenhorn in his 1995 book, “Fatherless America,” says “the culture change from a stable, two parent home to the father’s abandonment of his responsibilities of marriage and parenting is America’s most urgent social problem. The father’s absence is the main reason for unhappy homes, many current social problems, and is a national crisis of our time.”

According to the National Fatherhood Institute, 40% of the children in the United States have not seen their father for a year! In the last 15 years “fatherless” children jumped from 10.2 million to 15.6 million. 70% of juveniles in detention centers and reformatories are children of fatherless homes. Statistics indicate that “violent criminals” are overwhelmingly males who grew up without a father’s leadership. This includes 60% of America’s rapists, 72% of adolescent murders, and 70% of long-term prison inmates. One out of every four high school seniors graduate functionally illiterate. It is more than a physical presence. There are many homes where a father is there, but that is all. They want all their needs fulfilled, but do not want to take the spiritual, godly, or normal leadership that God intended. Instead children grow up listening to their parents fight, cuss, yell, scream, spend money on all kinds of entertainment and material possessions trying to be happy.

The father’s failure to take responsibility and leadership in the home has created a valueless, unhappy, fractured home and society. This failure has had a devastating effect on our children and has spawned a multitude of wicked societal problems including delinquency, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and violence.

The family is in trouble in America because men fail to be the leaders God wants them to be. We desperately need to pray for the men of this country to do as God has commanded. The results of the men not obeying God have been disastrous. The great need is for men to repent of their sins, to really come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and then to be obedient to the commands of God from His Word. Men must be the leaders God desires them to be. May God help us to pray for the men of America.

HOW SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND VIOLENCE DESTROY FAMILIES PART TWO

HOW SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND VIOLENCE DESTROY FAMILIES PART TWO

God‘s Marvelous Light (photo by Pastor Davis)

By Shirley Rhodes

LIVING IN THE GROWTH PROCESS OF GOD’S MARVELOUS LIGHT

Substance abuse is destroying our families, communities and country in general, and in lesson one as many of the lesson we share with you here, we do so in order that all of us may come into God’s marvelous light and help break this evil spirit that is penetrating the hearts and minds of too many of our family members.  In the first lesson of this format we presented you with three points to consider:

1.     The beginning: Growth process of children

2.     Breaking down of the physical body

3.     Social influence (social status)

Now let us consider the facts below; from the very beginning God already had a plan for our lives, and our parents were no accident, they were a chosen vessel. Many may question,” Why did I end up with parents that never knew me because they themselves were caught up in the cycle of abuse,” “how did I end up in such an environment?” I’m not sure how to answer such questions, yet the thought is like a plague. It seems as if those born under such circumstances never really had a chance for a better or different life, many are victims of their environment.

As Christians, how do we address such questions? A child is supposed to be nurtured and loved, provided the essentials of life to survive, yet we turn our heads as if it’s not me or my child so it’s not my problem. Children are left to the streets and many find their own way carving friendships that say you are a part of us. The environment may be one that’s gang related, drug infested and no particular rules of society are acknowledged. These same children only know the ways of the street and have little respect for those who attempt to show them that there is another way. Some are so hardened by the time they reach preteen years they either end up in jail or dead.

Many use drugs simply because for them that is their life. How do we turn the tide of our young people? How do we reach adults ravaged by the effects of daily drug use? It may not be your problem but at some point these children become adults, will they follow the same cycle before them or is there a way to reach them before it’s too late to intervene. Parents, Christians, Neighbors, Friends, society as a whole must consider the plight of a child from the very beginning, God has a plan for their life, and it does not have to be wasted. Then again we may ask ourselves, “where do we begin and what direction do we take to reverse the curse?

Social status for some people is what they crave and work to obtain, and how its’ obtained, as well as how they get there matters. While seeking worldly status, along with our many treasures, how often do we stop or slow down long enough to lift a sister or brother pressed down by the hardness of life. Many will say they had a choice and the life they live is what they have chosen, is that really truth? Social status sometimes places us in an environment where we eventually conform to what surrounds us. Our social circle may be one where alcohol and drugs are a part of who we become in order to fit in. Many often find themselves caught up in a web so tight they’re not able to find their way out. When continuing on this course they see no more than just the moment and that moment can end up being very dark.

Consider the teachings of Jesus, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust corrupt, where thieves break through and steal; for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The light of the body is the eye and if your eye is clear, the whole body shall be full of light. If your eye is foggy, your whole body shall be full of darkness, how terrible is that darkness.” (Matthew 6: 19, 21-23 KJV). So as Christians, family and friends, let’s be conscious of the needs of our children, our families, and society as a whole while we adapt and follow the pattern Jesus has given for living productive lives, as we LEARN TO LIVE IN THE GROWTH PROCESS OF GOD’S MARVELOUS LIGHT.

 

HOW SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND VIOLENCE DESTROY FAMILIES

HOW SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND VIOLENCE DESTROY FAMILIES

Drug Abuser 02

By Shirley Rhodes

Are you or someone you know caught up in the cesspool of substance abuse and violence, be it physical, mental, or social?  The point of interest here is abuse and its’ effects physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. Though substance abuse is not defined by a certain group of people, in some way many lives are destroyed due to lack of knowledge, relationships and awareness. Determining the path that takes one on a journey, they may or may not be able to find their way back is a long and enduring process, just getting the individual to admit they have a problem and eventually deciding to seek help.

Not everyone have access to what they need for recovery and often feel that where they find themselves is their destiny. So, we as a society, family, friend must ask ourselves, how did this happen, what caused our loved one to choose this course in life? It all starts somewhere; there is a reason, a beginning. When we take time and evaluate the situation, the answer may actually be surprising.  Now let us begin by taking a hard look at three key points of interest.

  1. 1.     The beginning: Growth process of children
  2. 2.     Breaking down of the physical body
  3. 3.     Social influence (social status)

We as a community of believers must take an interest in all aspects of the lives of our families if we are to survive as a community.  Yes, that process begins with each one of us, and it begins as a growth process with our children.  The starting point for each of us is entering into the presence of Jesus and we can do this by saying, “God, you’re my refuge, I trust in you and I’m safe!”

That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you—under them you’re perfectly safe, his arms fend off all harm.

The Lion of the tribe of Judah (photo by Pastor Davis)

Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night and flying arrows in the day. Not disease that prowls through the darkness, not disaster that erupts at high noon. Even though others succumb all around, drop like flies right and left, no harm will ever graze you.  You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, and watch the wicked turn into corpses. Yes, because God is your refuge, the High God your very own home. Evil can’t get close to you; harm can’t get through the door. He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they’ll catch you; their job is to keep you from falling. You walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

“If you will hold on to me for dear life,” says God; I’ll get you out of trouble, I’ll give you the best of care if you only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times. I’ll rescue you, I’ll give you long life, give you a long drink of salvation!” Psalm 91:1-16 (Mgs)

Children of God, the time has come for all of us to wake up and look around, be observant, there is trouble in the land, be attuned to each other.  Know that God has a plan for your life and He is working all things out.  We must come together as a family, as a community of believers and take responsibility for what is happening with our children, and  begin to demonstrate to them that there is a better way of life other than substance abuse and violence which is rampant in our communities;  it all begins with each of us as believers.  We must grow in God’s grace as we demonstrate to others, how they must adapt to the right way of living in this world and that is God’s way.  Our next lesson will continue to build on this one by stressing the GROWTH PROCESS of overcoming SUBSTANCE ABUSE, and VIOLENCE in our lives and the lives of our families.

 

A SELF DISCIPLINE WOMAN TEACHES THE ART OF LEADERSHIP AS A PROVERB 31 WOMAN

A SELF DISCIPLINE WOMAN TEACHES THE ART OF LEADERSHIP AS A PROVERB 31 WOMAN

Robin Wilson Successful Business Woman and A Proverb 31 Woman

HOW NOT TO BE UNDERVALUED, MARGINALIZED AND UNAPPRECIATED

Women in today’s society are UNDERVALUED, MARGINALIZED and UNAPPRECIATED, although they play a major role in all of our lives day in and day out.  In this lesson today, we want to demonstrate how they are at the forefront in every aspect of our lives teaching us how they use SELF-DISCIPLINE to instill LEADERSHIP in their FAMILIES and the MARKET PLACE, at the same time providing great value to the family’s net worth, and we still UNDERVALUE what they bring to the table, and do not reward them equally for their many gifts, by doing this we continue to MARGINALIZE their talents and show just how much they are truly UNAPPRECIATED.  

Successful Business Woman

Let us first define SELF-DISCIPLINE and how it works:  We will define it here simply as that quality that allows a person to do what needs to be done when he or she doesn’t feel like doing it:  Toughing it out, risking an opinion, making a decision when everyone else is paralyzed by uncertainty.  In many situations other people know what to do, but are too tired or afraid or apathetic to act.  That’s when someone who is equally tired and equally afraid steps forward and does what’s needed.  This person has that elusive quality called SELF-DISCIPLINE.  And whether from a formal or informal position in the organization, that person provides LEADERSHIP.

From that basic working definition we will look at an example of a woman who exhibited great SELF-DISCIPLINE in her own life, and reaped the rewards of her efforts.  She may be a literal woman, or she may be Wisdom personified.  Either way she teaches some important things about SELF-DISCIPLINE and LEADERSHIP.   Now as you read this poem, we encourage you to think about how you can integrate some of her charters traits into your own life as a leader in your family or business.

In Proverb’s 31, KING SOLOMON wrote the following poem about a WIFE of NOBLE CHARACTER and this is the person we are using to demonstrate our message today.  King Solomon said:

She is a wife of noble character who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,

She is a woman of Humility

and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household

and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,

A Proverb 31 woman is a Woman of Prayer

and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Composure, presence of mind, cool headedness, patience, self-possession, restraint—only a few people display these qualities, and those who do usually make effective leaders.  This woman of NOBLE CHARACTER, displayed all of them, and in doing so, taught us a valuable lesson in what it really means to be placed in a LEADERSHIP POSITION and earn respect, never to be UNDERVALUED, MARGINALIZED and UNAPPRECIATED.  Therefore, if you want to be an effective leader, identify the habits you need to build into your life so you can lead with diligence—habits such as physical fitness, balance between work and home, financial and personal accountability, proactively in the workplace, and the like.  It is now time for you to strap on your shoes and get going.  Disciplined habits will give you the momentum you need to not only move forward, but also to run your earthly race with strength and purpose, and achieve success as a true visionary leader only can.

We encourage you to think deeply on this message, eat and drink it daily for your spiritual meals over the next 90 days, and when you do this in the right way you will have learned the art of, “HOW NOT TO BE UNDERVALUED, MARGINALIZED AND UNAPPRECIATED!”

PORTRAIT OF A FATHER

PORTRAIT OF A FATHER

Pastor Davis with Father Deacon Davis Byars Sr. Age 95 and still going strong

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

The PORTRAIT OF A FATHER is one of a special gift, because God has chosen them and placed them in charge of the family as a nurturer and provider.  FATHERS’ are seen as the strong tower, the leader and diligently goes about seeking how to provide the many necessities essential to the family’s growth. Throughout time FATHERS’ have always sheltered their inner emotions simply because that is how society dictates. Life now paints a different picture for today’s FATHER.

When we think of a FATHER we think of the beginning (the creation) and know that he was created for a purpose and that purpose was for God’s enjoyment. God formed Man out of the dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man became a living soul! Genesis 2:7. God made a covenant with Abraham when he was ninety-nine years old, he said, “This is my covenant with you: You’ll be the FATHER of many nations, I’ll make nations from you, a covenant that includes your descendants, a covenant that goes on and on and on, a covenant that commits me to be your God and the God of your descendants. (Genesis 17:3-8 Mgs)

Today’s FATHER displays a sense of humor and honesty. They are diligently seeking how to be better at their assignment as a Father.  As fathers’ they should strive to build and maintain strong bonds with those entrusted to their care. THE PORTRAIT OF A FATHER should be seen as one of showing honor, humor, honesty, caring, courage, character, grace, guidance while setting boundaries for appropriate behavior within the family. He should be one whom children look-up to as a role model as he follow the rule to love every-one.

The Bible tells us that, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24 KJV).  Therefore, let us understand that a FATHER can and will make mistakes as he seeks to lead his family in the path that God has set out for him to do so.

Now listen to the words of Thomas More, he says, “Family life is full of major and minor crises—the ups and downs of health, success and failure—and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.”

As Fathers’ day approaches let’s set aside any differences we may have and express love and gratitude for all fathers, a role not to be taken lightly and as you do so, remember these very important words:  “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in.  (Isaiah 58:11-12ESV).

Oh! Teach us to live well! Let your servants see what you’re best at—the ways you rule your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work we do. (Psalm 90:12-17).

The PORTRAIT OF A FATHER is one that none of us should take lightly.  Let us lift up our eyes towards heaven and thank God, our HEAVENLY FATHER who has given us this opportunity to be a part of this earthly celebration this weekend to salute and honor all FATHERS who have stood the test of time and given of themselves to be FATHERS in spite of the many trials and tribulations they have had to endure.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL FATHERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND MAY THE PEACE, LOVE AND JOY OF GOD OUR FATHER FILL YOUR HEARTS WITH MUCH JOY AND PEACE ON THIS SPECIAL FATHER’S DAY!

FROM FATHER TO SON—BE WISE AS A SERPENT

FROM FATHER TO SON—BE WISE AS A SERPENT

Davis Byars Sr teaches his great grand son Tony Byars to be wise as a serpent

Oh listen, dear child—become wise;
point your life in the right direction.
Don’t drink too much wine and get drunk;
don’t eat too much food and get fat.
Drunks and gluttons will end up on skid row,
in a stupor and dressed in rags.

 

Listen with respect to the father who raised you,
and when your mother grows old, don’t neglect her.
Buy truth—don’t sell it for love or money;
buy wisdom, buy education, buy insight.
Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
wise children become proud parents.
So make your father happy!
Make your mother proud!

  Dear child, I want your full attention;

please do what I show you.

A whore is a bottomless pit;
a loose woman can get you in deep trouble fast.
She’ll take you for all you’ve got;
she’s worse than a pack of thieves.

Who are the people who are always crying the blues?

Who do you know who reeks of self-pity?

Drunkenness of Noah

Drunkenness of Noah (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Who keeps getting beat up for no reason at all?
Whose eyes are bleary and bloodshot?
It’s those who spend the night with a bottle,
for whom drinking is serious business.
Don’t judge wine by its label,
or its bouquet, or its full-bodied flavor.
Judge it rather by the hangover it leaves you with—
the splitting headache, the queasy stomach.
Do you really prefer seeing double,
with your speech all slurred,
Reeling and seasick,
drunk as a sailor?
“They hit me,” you’ll say, “but it didn’t hurt;
they beat on me, but I didn’t feel a thing.
When I’m sober enough to manage it,
bring me another drink!”

(Proverb 23:19-35 MSG)

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A Father’s Love (My Son Maximillion and His Baby Daughter) Photo by Pastor Davis)

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

When we are born we do not yet know how to speak or behave, yet we are born with the potential to learn things—before we were thought about, God already had a plan for our lives. Oh yes you shaped me first inside, and then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb Psalm 139:13 (Mgs).  The Father and Mother are chosen vessels to conceive and nurture the child until birth—and is to continue teaching and instilling knowledge and rules needed to develop social skills through the stages of growth and development.

Whether positive or negative there’s always a payoff to everything we do. Families are those whom we grow with and learn many of life’s lessons. Often that reality is shattered through divorce, broken-relationships, and finances. Interruption in the process of marriage/relationship can shift the responsibility of child care to either parent. Some men often assume the role of care taker and are seen as a stable force in the child’s life. A father is one that shows love and concern, offers encouragement and seeks to instill values that will enhance the child’s quality of life. Although society dictates parenting, especially in regards to the role of fathers there are those who care enough to provide their children with a positive environment. Maybe we as a society should focus more on the quality of care these fathers are capable of giving rather than quantity. Every case is different and recognizing the contributions of many male figures as fathers and role models may save a child from fate of the criminal justice system.  Therefore, I state to you, that when a father is embracing his children with love and encouragement he is then truly fulfilling his role which is, “A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN!”

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Words have a power all their own

Words have a power all their own (Photo credit: Lynne Hand)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Why Are Families Breaking Down?  Written by Pastor Terry Coomer

Elwood Bible Baptist Church, Elwood, Indiana 46036

 Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you this day whom you will serve: whether the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I am greatly burdened about the family in America. The direction we are going today is total destruction. There are many reasons for this. We live in a day when words like love, commitment, responsibility, compassion, faith, church, righteousness, common sense, God, the Word of God, mean virtually nothing. I believe that much of that is due to the breakdown of the family.

Folks, the Bible strongly emphasize the family. Today, if you try to encourage a family to do as God has commanded, you will hear comments like “that church or pastor is weird, strict, legalistic, or a cult.” Most of these people have no idea what a cult is and are too spiritually ignorant to see the breakdown that is affecting their family.

The weakness of the family today is the lack of knowledge of the Word of God and an unwillingness to obey the Word of God. 2 Timothy 3:15 says that Timothy knew the holy scriptures “from a child.” It is important for our children to know the Word of God. It takes parents who are willing to make the commitment to study the Word of God and then to teach it to their children. A child must learn to have a relationship with God through His Word. A family can never be right with God as long as the parents are not having a relationship with God through His Word.

The family is a divine creation. Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them; and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

The family was created before the church. The family is a unit. Certainly, the family affects the church. The family is a divine institution. Exodus 20:12 “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

I want you to notice something very important here, “father and mother” is a unit. It is important to understand that there is fidelity in that unit.

The family is important in the eyes of God, especially a godly family, which is rare today. (See Ephesians 6:22-33.)

How far away have we gotten from a godly family today? How far are we away from what the Word of God says on this issue? Unfortunately, very far. It is like night and day. The church today has done a miserable job. Most pastors are under tremendous pressure today to compromise the Word of God for entertainment. Many do compromise because they are afraid they will lose people. Many Independent Baptist Church bulletins look like an airline flight and departure schedule. The less time we can give to the Bible the more the average Christian likes it. They believe that activities make them spiritual rather than a relationship with God through His Word. Many Pastors seek to find out what works to draw a crowd rather than what is right. You have homes that are running themselves to death thinking they are doing the work of God.

Many churches today have ungodly music to appeal to the flesh so they can get a crowd. They cancel services where the word of God should be preached so they can have a southern gospel sing. These people do not worship God, they worship music and activities. It is nothing more than idolatry. Then they wonder why their kids grow up to live wicked, immoral, ungodly lives and have no desire for spiritual things. Divorce is rampant and we have many people living after the lusts of the flesh right in the church ministry. 2 Timothy 4:3 warns that “the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.” Folks, that time is now! You have people today running from church to church until they can hear it like they want it rather than what God really says. The way to build godly families is to have a good church that preaches the Word of God and stands for it. The parents who attend that church must desire the Word of God and take the time and have the commitment themselves to study the Word so they can teach the Word to their children.

I looked at some statistics for America. The numbers are alarming:

1.   Divorces granted 1970–708,000, 1980–1,170,000 up 65%
2.   Unmarried couples 1970–523,000, 1980–1,346,000 up 157%
3.   Persons living alone 1970–10,851,000, 1980–17,202,000 up 58.5%
4.   Children living with two parents 1970–58,926,000, 1980–48,295,000 down 18%
5.   Children living with one parent 1970–8,230,000, 1980–11,528,000 up 40.1%
6.   Families with both husband and wife working 1970–20,327,000, 1980–24,253,000 up 19.4%

These statistics reveal some serious problems that we are facing in the family, and these numbers were from a few years ago and are much worse now.

THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE BREAKDOWN OF THE HOME IS FATHERS NOT FULFILLING THEIR BIBLICAL ROLE OF LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME. This is the most important reason for unhappy families.

God says, worship is to be led by the father. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:9).

Most fathers I know could care less. This is a wicked thing. There is more to being a father than just producing children. The lack of leadership by the father today in every area is the most important factor in the breakdown of the American home. I pray the Lord will give us more men like Joshua.

Joshua 24:14-15, “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.”

There has to be a consecration by dad. There is more to a marriage than just living together in a physical relationship.

Lack of godly male leadership brings about the disastrous consequences of rebellion, delinquency, and sexual promiscuity. Divorce is usually caused by a father not taking his Biblical responsibilities and is something God hates, (See Malachi 2:12-17. Matthew 19:5-6.)

The most important cause of divorce in America is the lack of proper, godly leadership by the father and husband. It is also the most frequent cause of children’s feelings of rejection, behavioral problems, and anxieties.  Ephesians 6:1-4. Notice in verse 4, “And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “wrath” means a strong desire to avenge. How does a father provoke a child to wrath? By not bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture means training with structure. Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father.

David Blankenhorn in his 1995 book, “Fatherless America,” says “the culture change from a stable, two parent home to the father’s abandonment of his responsibilities of marriage and parenting is America’s most urgent social problem. The father’s absence is the main reason for unhappy homes, many current social problems, and is a national crisis of our time.”

According to the National Fatherhood Institute, 40% of the children in the United States have not seen their father for a year! In the last 15 years “fatherless” children jumped from 10.2 million to 15.6 million. 70% of juveniles in detention centers and reformatories are children of fatherless homes. Statistics indicate that “violent criminals” are overwhelmingly males who grew up without a father’s leadership. This includes 60% of America’s rapists, 72% of adolescent murders, and 70% of long-term prison inmates. One out of every four high school seniors graduate functionally illiterate. It is more than a physical presence. There are many homes where a father is there, but that is all. They want all their needs fulfilled, but do not want to take the spiritual, godly, or normal leadership that God intended. Instead children grow up listening to their parents fight, cuss, yell, scream, spend money on all kinds of entertainment and material possessions trying to be happy.

The father’s failure to take responsibility and leadership in the home has created a valueless, unhappy, fractured home and society. This failure has had a devastating effect on our children and has spawned a multitude of wicked societal problems including delinquency, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and violence.

The family is in trouble in America because men fail to be the leaders God wants them to be. We desperately need to pray for the men of this country to do as God has commanded. The results of the men not obeying God have been disastrous. The great need is for men to repent of their sins, to really come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and then to be obedient to the commands of God from His Word. Men must be the leaders God desires them to be. May God help us to pray for the men of America.

A SELF DISCIPLINE WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER TEACHES US WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A LEADER

A SELF DISCIPLINE WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER TEACHES US WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A LEADER

The Proverb 31 Woman (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Women in today’s society are undervalued and unappreciated, although they play a major role in all of our lives day in and day out.  In this lesson today, we want to demonstrate how they are at the forefront in every aspect of our lives teaching us how they use self-discipline to instill leadership in their families and the market place, at the same time providing great value to the family’s net worth, and we still undervalue what they bring to the table, and do not reward them for their many gifts.

Let us first define self-discipline and how it works:  We will define it here simply as that quality that allows a person to do what needs to be done when he or she doesn’t feel like doing it:  Toughing it out, risking an opinion, making a decision when everyone else is paralyzed by uncertainty.  In many situations other people know what to do, but are too tired or afraid or apathetic to act.  That’s when someone who is equally tired and equally afraid steps forward and does what’s needed.  This person has that elusive quality called self-discipline.  And whether from a formal or informal position in the organization, that person provides leadership.

From that basic working definition we will look at an example of a woman who exhibited great self-discipline in her own life, and reaped the rewards of her efforts.  She may be a literal woman, or she may be Wisdom personified.  Either way she teaches some important things about self-discipline and leadership.   Now as you read this poem, we encourage you to think about how you can integrate some of her character traits into your own life as a leader in your family or business.

In Proverb’s 31, King Solomon wrote the following poem about a WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER and this is the person we are using to demonstrate our message today.

She is a wife of noble character who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Composure, presence of mind, cool headedness, patience, self-possession, restraint—only a few people display these qualities, and those who do usually make effective leaders.  This woman of NOBLE CHARACTER, displayed all of them, and in doing so, taught us a valuable lesson in what it really means to be placed in a leadership position and earn respect, never be undervalued and un-appreciated.  Therefore, if you want to be an effective leader, identify the habits you need to build into your life so you can lead with diligence—habits such as physical fitness, balance between work and home, financial and personal accountability, proactively in the workplace, and the like.  It is now time for you to strap on your shoes and get going.  Disciplined habits will give you the momentum you need to not only move forward, but also to run your earthly race with strength and purpose, and achieve success as a true leader only can.

A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE

A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE

OUR FAMILIES ARE UNIVERSAL

 

We have entered a brand new year, the old, we have left behind.  All things new lie ahead, and therefore present us with our greatest challenges of all time.  The question then becomes, “how do we solve our family problems in this new year that divided our family in the old year?”  This is a very important question that must be placed at the head of our list of problems to be resolved in 2012, but resolve them we must.

Satan is our greatest enemy, and he is continuing his work of divide and conquer.  He knows that families, a church are a business that is divided against its self eventually destroys itself from within.  Therefore, every opportunity he gets, he pushes our hot buttons to make us war against each other.

The time has come for us to learn to lean and depend on the one who has already defeated Satan, to show us the way of bringing cohesiveness into our families that will triumph over the evil spirits that have divided us in the past.  We are victories, because God has given us the victory to lead our families to victory in 2012.  No weapon formed against us shall prosper.  That means no matter what Satan attempts to do with his limited powers by pitting one member of the family against another member, if we are leaning, depending and trusting in God, Satan is doomed and we can return our families to greatness by knowing the truth.  The bible teaches us in John 8:32 this simple message, “Know the truth and the truth will set you FREE.”

Leaders within the families must stand strong, processing a strong moral character and not comprise their moral integrity for the evil that Satan will present to them.  The Pharisees were a perfect example of presenting division within the family, and Jesus was the perfect example of a leader who presented a strong moral character and showed us the standards by which we must stand on to be a great leader for our families.  Jesus said to them, “Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to GodWealth is treacherous, and the arrogant are never at rest. They open their mouths as wide as the grave, and like death, they are never satisfied. In their greed they have gathered up many nations and swallowed many peoples.  (Habakkuk 2:4-5 NLT)

As a leader in our families, our job is to be a servant leader.  Follow the example of Jesus and become a humble servant and serve all humanityFamily members will present you with some of the greatest challenges you will ever encounter.  But you must know how to overcome the feuding by following the example of JesusJesus knew Satan’s strategies and just how he would apply them to bring about division within the familyJesus said to them,Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart. And if Satan is casting out Satan, he is divided and fighting against himself. His own kingdom will not survive. (Matthew 12:25-26 NLT)

Your strong moral character must be the example in which the family in 2012 will rally around and find their moral compass to move towards the purpose and destination that God has already laid out for them.  Remember, just as a good tree bears good fruit and a diseased tree bears inedible fruit, so the fruits of a person’s life will show the quality of his or her characterFruit is a comprehensive word, referring to teaching, character, and action.  Our character is revealed by our conduct.

We have ministered this word to you today from a position of PEACE, PURPOSE, POWER and PROSPERITY.  We encourage you to think globally as you work locally to bring about a change within the family in 2012.  Making it stronger, more cohesive and less divisively.  Empowering it with love, growing it with a purpose, as God blesses you, moles you and shapes you into a powerful, yet humble servant that is capable of moving the family into the realm of possibilities and bringing about the prosperity that is desired for the family in 2012.  I remain your brother in CHRIST JESUS, PASTOR DAVIS/MASTER TEACHER!

Remember, “A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE”

 

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)         

Remember, the process for training up a child to learn respect begins with you, “the parent.”  Set the example for your child.  You as the Parent have a duty to God and to your children to instruct them in the reasons for being respectful, study (Proverbs 1:84:16:20Ephesians 6:1-4). These verses should enlighten your mind on what God wants us to know about the proper role we play in raising our children to have and show respect for authority.

These principles equip your children for success in life and prepare them to assume their place in the kingdom. You as a Parent do more harm to your children by not instructing and re-enforcing these truths (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).

Your child mimics what you do — if your child sees you yelling, cursing, interrupting or being sarcastic, your child believes this behavior is natural, explains Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development expert. If you want your child to respect you, teach him or her how to do so.  If you want your child to have respected you and other authority figures you must give respect to your child. This means you support your child and his or her feelings. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, and refrain from saying anything negative that can hurt your child.  Respect is a two-way street. Just because you are an authoritative figure doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your child. Your child is a person too.

Let us be mindful that when God commands us to respect certain individuals it is assumed they are respectable. One of the difficult lessons to learn in life is that we are sometimes disappointed by those whom we have come to respect. Parents sin (Colossians 3:21); elders digress (1 Timothy 5:19-20); governments become corrupt (Psalms 9:17); men become wicked (2 Timothy 3:13). In times like these, we remember that the honor we give others, even the undeserving, is a reflection of the esteem with which we hold Christ (Ephesians 6:5-7).

Sometimes the young demand respect for themselves. They are certainly entitled to the same honor which others receive (I Peter 2:17). However, the same assumptions hold for them as well, those honored are honorable and the respected are respectable. Paul admonished Timothy to let no man despise his youth (I Timothy 4:12). In order to accomplish that task Paul urged him to be an example in all areas of life. If we want to be respected we must learn it and earn it.

Now let us look at one of the most common and misunderstood ways that a child shows lack of respect for adults, it is by interrupting adult conversations.  For me as a child, this was truly a no, no. However, this is often done when a child continuously pulls on their Mother’s arm while saying, “Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie,” repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention. The child has demanded priority over the adult with whom her mother was speaking, and in essence has said, “Me first! I’m more important than you are!” The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.

A child who has something to say to parents who are engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his or her parent, making sure that his or her parent sees them. At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, “Excuse me one moment,” and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child’s question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child’s concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child’s.

When adults are engaged in conversation in the presence of children (for instance, at dinner), the children should not dominate or dictate the direction of the conversation. The way another generation expressed this thought was, “Children should be seen and not heard.” It is not that children should not speak at all, but that they should not think that they have equal status around the dinner table with the adults. Sitting quietly and learning to listen while at the dinner table is a key ingredient to a Childs ability to learn respect and proper communication with other adult figures.  Many children, if not taught respect by their parents, will actually dominate the conversation, making it impossible for the parents and guests to have an adult discussion.

Children should be taught to sit quietly and respond enthusiastically when spoken to, or when an adult shows an interest in them or their activities. They should be spirited responders, and not initiators, when adults are present.

We must always know our place and keep in mind, that we are the adults in the room, and we are either going to be the teacher are we are going to be taught by our children.  If we are Godly parents, we know that we must always remain in the will of God and be obedient to the word of God, knowing that everything we do our children is watching and learning from us.  A key ingredient to just how our children learn respect is through observation.  They learn how to honor their parents by observing how their parents honor one another (Ephesians 5:2829), and by seeing how their parents treat their grandparents (1 Timothy 5:4Matthew 15:6). They learn how to honor government by observing how their parents respect the law (I Peter 2:13-15Luke 20:25I Timothy 2:1-2). They learn how to honor their employers by observing how their parents honor theirs (Ephesians 4:286:6-72 Thessalonians 3:10). And, they learn to honor God by observing their parents do the same (Matthew 6:33).

Know this one truth, and that is God will always have the last word on how respect and honor works in our daily lives.  In (Ephesians 6:2-4 AMP) the word says this, “Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  This honor is due because parents have sacrificed so much for their children.  They are the guides, the providers and protectors of their offspring. Their love and sacrifice should command our respect; this is why God says, “It is right.”

The aged are worthy of our respect (Leviticus 19:32Proverbs 20:29). However, it is again assumed that they command that respect by their character (Proverbs 16:31;Job 32:9). The aged have attained wisdom through their experiences and spirituality (Job 12:12). Their lives have been a blessing to their families and communities because of their accomplishments. Their posterity is indebted to them for their accomplishments. We do stand on the shoulders of giants.

Now in conclusion let me leave you with this final perspective, why has this become such a problem in the 21st century? I submit to you that this should not come as a surprise to you because we have a generation of kids raising kids.  With our economy in the shape that it is in and both parents having to leave home for work just to make ends meet, we have turn over the raising of our children to the T.V. and video games.  Drugs and Alcoholic has invaded our communities and the drug addictions and early death rate of so many of our youth are causing grandparents and great grand parents to become parents to their grand children at a time when they are ill equipped to do so.  The children have already grown up with a bad attitude of disrespect for the adults and the authority figures that now must care for them.

While it is unfortunate, it is nevertheless often necessary to apply correction. A failure to do this when it is called for encourages further disrespect (Ecclesiastes 8:11). For this reason then, God has allowed for government to punish evildoers (Romans 13:24), the church to correct the unrepentant (Titus 1:132 Thessalonians 3:6), and parents to discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24).

Let me assure you, this is not the final word on this subject by no means; I will speak more on this subject again soon.  It is a subject that has many view points. In my next message I will have others to share their views on this subject until we all get a complete picture on what and how to deal effective with this matter.  If you have a point of view that you would like to share, please email it to me and I will consider it in my next lesson on this subject.  I leave you with my peace, that you may enjoy the benefits of God’s grace and mercy.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

 

 

HAS SATAN BECOME THE AUTHORITY FIGURE IN RAISING YOUR CHILDREN

Group of children in a primary school in Paris

OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE

HAS SATAN BECOME THE AUTHORITY FIGURE IN RAISING YOUR CHILDREN

 The enemy has taken the fight to our youth…

Parents, are you willing to risk being run over by the children of your community?  What has God placed in your hands that might be attractive to them?  If we are to restore the path for our children, we must be willing to do what it takes to arrest their attention.  We must stop being passive and become pro-active in helping to bring about a change in their lives.  It might mean that we have to sacrifice our nice carpets and beautiful homes to bring them in.  If you are going to invite the children of the community into your home, your carpet will get dirty, and your patience will be, tried and tested.  How committed are we to lifting these kids out of their maze of misery?  In a sense, the children are our own pathways to the future.  If we ignore the children of our communities, we do so at the cost of our very own future.

Now listen up parents, Youth violence has gotten totally out of control, with no one knowing what to do or how to control what is happening with our youth that are destroying our communities.  Everyone is pointing the finger at the other.  If we could only stop for a moment, and take a good look at what is happening within our homes, schools, churches, work places and government offices, we will see the real enemy that has taken control and that is the old devil himself.  Yes, Satan has gotten control of every avenue of our children’s lives, and we all are standing around and blaming each other for all kinds of things rather than seeing the real enemy of God and that is Satan.  Satan knows that by spreading his violence among our youth, he can begin to penetrate Gods kingdom by causing them to become addictive to drugs, alcohol, joining gangs, killing each other, killing their parents, then committing suicide themselves.  You see Satan truly has his game plan together, while we are sitting around blaming each other for the many evil deeds that our youth are committing.  Some of us are locking ourselves within our homes afraid of our youth, afraid we might be next.  It is a sad day in America when we as adults have become so fearful of our youth, when our future lies in the very ones we are fearful of.  I do realize that some of our youth have gone astray and it should give us a very good reason to pause and take a good look at what is happening within our society as a whole.  Look at just how we as parents and grandparents are raising our own children, allowing them to tell us what to do are not to do.  These are the same youth, that are taking control of our communities and threaten all of us that we have become so fearful of.

Stop blaming and start acting…

There is enough blame to go around when some say that it is liberalism that has caused the violence.  Others say that it is the removal of prayer from our schools.  Some say it is the steady stream of violence we see in the movies, on the nightly newscast, on all sorts of TV programs, and especially the video games.

There are still others who blame the government for overtaxing us, and forcing parents to have to abandon their children for the workplace.  When it comes to youth using guns to settle their differences, there are those who would blame the gun manufacturers and the gun dealers.  But no where do we see anyone taking responsibility for what has happened.  Not the parents, schools, churches, business, government, or the youth themselves.  No, everyone wants to place the blame on someone else.  It is time that we as parents and grandparents begin to accept the major portion of responsibility, and take control of our children’s lives and get the government out of our homes and bedrooms.  We as parents are responsible for raising our youth and it does take the whole community to be involved and always willing to lend a helping hand.

It is time for Parents to take a stand and fight a good fight…

 When I was a young boy growing up in a very small community in South Carolina, everyone knew everyone and no one was ever afraid to correct any child of the community, if they saw us doing something wrong.  Every parent and grandparent was responsible for every child of the community.  Today, if you correct a child when you see them doing wrong, you will have the parents knocking at your door for chastising their child.  You might even have the police come calling on you, if you are lucky that the child has not shot and killed you.  There is something badly wrong with this picture, but it is the reality of the world we live in today.

 Another part of this problem of correcting children is some of the abuse that some parents have perpetuated upon their children that has caused the government to get more involved in our daily lives.  We as parents are responsible for our children and we must shoulder that responsibility with love, understanding and patience.  Children can be a problem.  There is much peer pressure on them.  They want to fit in with their friends, therefore as a parent, we must try to understand their changing life style, and their growth hormones as they experience adulthood.  We must treat them with respect, try to understand that they too do have problems and they may not always share those problems with us.  Nevertheless, we must always be willing to put our arms around them and daily tell them that we love them, even though we may not be having the kind of conversation we would like to have with them.  However, I tell you that there is power in love.  When our youth can feel within themselves that they are loved, it brings a much different kind of respect from them.  However, we must never compromise our principles and allow our children to be disobedient and disrespectful to us are the people that are in authority.  We must stand our ground and always be willing to discipline them with love.  We must always remain strong and keep our focus on raising our children to become responsible and loving adults, ready and capable of taking on the mantel of future leaders within their communities and of the world.  We must never except defeat as a way of giving up on our children.

We must believe that we as a chosen disciple of the one living God has been given the power to change the course of our destiny by changing the way we view our children and the people that are committing the evil crimes within our communities.  We should never forget that evil survives because we choose to let it rule over us.  We must resist it on every hand, using the power that God gives us, and believe me, we do have the power to stand up and take the fight to the enemy.  God has given us that power if we choose to use it.  All we have to do is call on him.  He said that he would never leave us or forsake us.  He will always be right there with us even until the end of time.

Standing up to the enemy may not be the way you would view your mission in this world, but if you don’t, who will?  Sometimes we have to just say no to the enemy, and do what is unpopular at the time even if our life depends on it.  If we stand up for Christ we are most certain to lose our life, but what are we living for any way.  This world is not our home; we are just passing through on our way to our eternal home.  We must be prepared to face the enemy with all our strength and might.  Then and only then will the enemy have a sense of who we are.  The enemy will always feel that he is the biggest and baldest bully in town as long as we allow him to back us down.  There comes a time in our lives when we must say no backing away or running away from a situation that I can no longer tolerate.  This enemy is threaten my family, my community, my way of life, and if I don’t do something about it right now, I will no longer have a family or community to live in, because he is taken it all away.  It is up to me to bring an end to this right here and now.

 

 

 

 

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 3)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 3)

WILL FATHERS STAND UP AND BECOME GODLY LEADERS?                               

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 AMP)

Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father as I see it today.

We know that sometimes fathers fail to accept the responsibility God has given them toward their wives and children. Many fathers pursue their own selfish interests thus abandoning the role God has given them.

Whenever parents fails to fulfill their role of godly leadership, the responsibility for leading their children will wrongly pass to a child’s peer group, a school or even the television. When an absent parent’s egoistic barked orders are met with resistance and rebellion, out of frustration and impatience a worldly parent might then even further discourage his or her children by cursing them. Instead, every parent needs to accept the leadership roles God has given us. This will require us to possess a heart devoted to God, to show our children how to live and to model serving others through love.

The principle of accepting our God given responsibility is within the grasp of each person. It is a decision. It does require work as well as death to Self.

God has provided a number of biblical principles for effective leadership. Any parent who abandons these principles will find their leadership ability in God’s service severely damaged. As parents seeking to serve God, let’s focus on being those whom God wants us to be. Let’s provide the godly leadership that our families need and which God has described for us. May our families be shining beacons of godly love, hope, values and all sorts of godly behavior in a world torn apart by the fruits of idolatry. And when we have finished the course, may we hear “well done good and faithful servant, you have been faithful in a few things. Enter into your Master’s   glory.”

WHAT IS EFFECTIVE PARTERING, HERE ARE THE FACTS                                                                            

Involved fathers provide practical support in raising children and serve as models for their development. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.  Committed and responsible fathering during infancy and early childhood contributes emotional security, curiosity, and math and verbal skills.

INCARCERSATION:

The Department of Justice has estimated that over 7.3 million children under age 18 have a parent who is in prison, jail, on probation, or on parole. Given these numbers, it is important to understand how children and their caregivers are affected by the criminal activity of a parent and their subsequent arrest, incarceration, and release.  Additionally, it is important to know which services and assistance might be available to those under criminal justice supervision to help them be better parents and to return successfully to the community.

THE FATHER FACTOR

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America — one out of three — live in biological father-absent homes. Consequently, there is a “father factor” in nearly all of the social issues facing America today.

Father Factor in Poverty

Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor. In 2002, 7.8 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 38.4 percent of children in female-householder families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2002, P200-547, Table C8. Washington D.C.: GPO, 2003.

During the year before their babies were born, 43% of unmarried mothers received welfare or food stamps, 21% received some type of housing subsidy, and 9% received another type of government transfer (unemployment insurance etc.). For women who have another child, the proportion who receive welfare or food stamps rises to 54%.

Source: McLanahan, Sara. The Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study: Baseline National Report. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2003: 13.

A child with a nonresident father is 54 percent more likely to be poorer than his or her father.

Source: Sorenson, Elaine and Chava Zibman. “Getting to Know Poor Fathers Who Do Not Pay Child Support.” Social Service Review 75 (September 2001): 420-434.

When compared by family structure, 45.9% of poor single-parent families reported material hardship compared to 38.6% of poor two parent families. For unpoor families who did not experience material hardship, 23.3% were single-parent families compared to 41.2% of two-parent families.

Source: Beverly, Sondra G., “Material hardship in the United States: Evidence from the Survey of Income and Program Participation.” Social Work Research 25 (September 2001): 143-151.3

Father Factor in Maternal and Infant Health

Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants of unmarried mothers than for married mothers.

Source: Matthews, T.J., Sally C. Curtin, and Marian F. MacDorman. Infant Mortality Statistics from the 1998 Period Linked Birth/Infant Death Data Set. National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 48, No. 12. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics, 2000.

Based on birth and death data for 217,798 children born in Georgia in 1989 and 1990, infants without a father’s name on their birth certificate (17.9 percent of the total) were 2.3 times more likely to die in the first year of life compared to infants with a father’s name on their birth certificate.

Source: Gaudino, Jr., James A., Bill Jenkins, and Foger W. Rochat. “No Fathers’ Names: A Risk Factor for Infant Mortality in the State of Georgia, USA.” Social Science and Medicine 48 (1999): 253-265.

Unmarried mothers are less likely to obtain prenatal care and more likely to have a low birth-weight baby. Researchers find that these negative effects persist even when they take into account factors, such as parental education, that often distinguish single-parent from two-parent families.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Public Health Service. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Health Statistics. Report to Congress on Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing. Hyattsville, MD (Sept. 1995): 12.

Expectant fathers can play a powerful role as advocates of breastfeeding to their wives. Three-fourths of women whose partners attended a breastfeeding promotion class initiated breastfeeding.

Source: Wolfberg, Adam J., et al. “Dads as breastfeeding advocates: results from a randomized controlled trial of an educational intervention.” American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 191 (September 2004): 708-712.

Fathers’ knowledge about breastfeeding increases the likelihood that a child will be breastfed. Children who fathers knew more had a 1.76 higher chance of being breastfed at the end of the first month and 1.91 higher chance of receiving maternal milk at the end of the third month.

Source: Susin, Lurie R.O. “Does Parental Breastfeeding Knowledge Increase Breastfeeding Rates?” BIRTH 26 (September 1999): 149-155.

Twenty-three percent of unmarried mothers in large U.S. cities reported cigarette use during their pregnancy. Seventy-one percent were on Medicare.

Source: McLanahan, Sara. The Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study: Baseline National Report. Table 7. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2003: 16.

A study of 2,921 mothers revealed that single mothers were twice as likely as married mothers to experience a bout of depression in the prior year. Single mothers also reported higher levels of stress, fewer contacts with family and friends, less involvement with church or social groups and less overall social support.

Source: Cairney, John and Michael Boyle et al. “Stress, Social Support and Depression in Single and Married Mothers.” Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology 38 (August 2003): 442-449.

In a longitudinal study of more than 10,000 families, researchers found that toddlers living in stepfamilies and single-parent families were more likely to suffer a burn, have a bad fall, or be scarred from an accident compared to kids living with both of their biological parents.

Source: O’Connor, T., L. Davies, J. Dunn, J. Golding, ALSPAC Study Team. “Differential Distribution of Children’s Accidents, Injuries and Illnesses across Family Type.” Pediatrics 106 (November 2000): e68.

A study of 3,400 middle schoolers indicated that not living with both biological parents quadruples the risk of having an affective disorder.

Source: Cuffe, Steven P., Robert E. McKeown, Cheryl L. Addy, and Carol Z. Garrison. “Family Psychosocial Risk Factors in a Longitudinal Epidemiological Study of Adolescents.” Journal of American Academic Child Adolescent Psychiatry 44 (February 2005): 121-129.

Children who live apart from their fathers are more likely to be diagnosed with asthma and experience an asthma-related emergency even after taking into account demographic and socioeconomic conditions. Unmarried, cohabiting parents and unmarried parents living apart are 1.76 and 2.61 times, respectively, more likely to have their child diagnosed with asthma. Marital disruption after birth is associated with a 6-fold increase in the likelihood a children will require an emergency room visit and 5-fold increase of an asthma-related emergency.

Source: Harknett, Kristin. Children’s Elevated Risk of Asthma in Unmarried Families: Underlying Structural and Behavioral Mechanisms. Working Paper #2005-01-FF. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2005: 19-27.

Father Factor in Incarceration

Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds.

Source: Harper, Cynthia C. and Sara S. McLanahan. “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.

A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.

Source: James, Doris J. Profile of Jail Inmates, 2002. (NCJ 201932). Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report, Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, July 2004.

Father Factor in Crime

A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency.

Source: Bush, Connee, Ronald L. Mullis, and Ann K. Mullis. “Differences in Empathy Between Offender and Non-offender Youth.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 29 (August 2000): 467-478.

Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk.

Source: Anderson, Amy L. “Individual and contextual influences on delinquency: the role of the single-parent family.” Journal of Criminal Justice 30 (November 2002): 575-587.

A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent. (Fathers and Daughters)

Source: Snell, Tracy L and Danielle C. Morton. Women in Prison: Survey of Prison Inmates, 1991. Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report. Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, 1994: 4.

Even after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father.

Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.

Youths are more at risk of first substance use without a highly involved father. Each unit increase in father involvement is associated with 1% reduction in substance use. Living in an intact family also decreases the risk of first substance use.

Source: Bronte-Tinkew, Jacinta, Kristin A. Moore, Randolph C. Capps, and Jonathan Zaff. “The influence of father involvement on youth risk behaviors among adolescents: A comparison of native-born and immigrant families.” Article in Press. Social Science Research December 2004.

Of the 228 students studied, those from single-parent families reported higher rates of drinking and smoking as well as higher scores on delinquency and aggression tests when compared to boys from two-parent households.

Source: Griffin, Kenneth W., Gilbert J. Botvin, Lawrence M. Scheier, Tracy Diaz and Nicole L. Miller. “Parenting Practices as Predictors of Substance Use, Delinquency, and Aggression Among Urban Minority Youth: Moderating Effects of Family Structure and Gender.” Psychology of Addictive Behaviors 14 (June 2000): 174-184.

In a study of INTERPOL crime statistics of 39 countries, it was found that single parenthood ratios were strongly correlated with violent crimes. This was not true 18 years ago.

Source: Barber, Nigel. “Single Parenthood As a Predictor of Cross-National Variation in Violent Crime.” Cross-Cultural Research 38 (November 2004): 343-358.

Father Factor in Teen Pregnancy

Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.

Source: Teachman, Jay D. “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages.” Journal of Family Issues 25 (January 2004): 86-111.

Separation or frequent changes increase a woman’s risk of early menarche, sexual activity and pregnancy. Women whose parents separated between birth and six years old experienced twice the risk of early menstruation, more than four times the risk of early sexual intercourse, and two and a half times higher risk of early pregnancy when compared to women in intact families. The longer a woman lived with both parents, the lower her risk of early reproductive development. Women who experienced three or more changes in her family environment exhibited similar risks but were five times more likely to have an early pregnancy.

Source: Quinlan, Robert J. “Father absence, parental care, and female reproductive development.” Evolution and Human Behavior 24 (November 2003): 376-390.

Researchers using a pool from both the U.S. and New Zealand found strong evidence that father absence has an effect on early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy. Teens without fathers were twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as an adolescent.

Source: Ellis, Bruce J., John E. Bates, Kenneth A. Dodge, David M. Ferguson, L. John Horwood, Gregory S. Pettit, and Lianne Woodward. “Does Father Absence Place Daughters at Special Risk for Early Sexual Activity and Teenage Pregnancy.” Child Development 74 (May/June 2003): 801-821.

Father Factor in Child Abuse

Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect.

Source: America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being. Table SPECIAL1. Washington, D.C.: Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics, 1997.

The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.

Source: America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being. Table SPECIAL1. Washington, D.C.: Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics, 1997.

An analysis of child abuse cases in a nationally representative sample of 42 counties found that children from single-parent families are more likely to be victims of physical and sexual abuse than children who live with both biological parents. Compared to their peers living with both parents, children in single parent homes had:

a 77% greater risk of being physically abused

an 87% greater risk of being harmed by physical neglect

a 165% greater risk of experiencing notable physical neglect

a 74% greater risk of suffering from emotional neglect

an 80% greater risk of suffering serious injury as a result of abuse

overall, a 120% greater risk of being endangered by some type of child abuse.

Source: Sedlak, Andrea J. and Diane D. Broadhurst. The Third National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect: Final Report. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect. Washington, D.C., September 1996.

Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

Source: “Survey Links Teen Drug Use, Relationship With Father.” Alcoholism & Drug Abuse Weekly 6 September 1999: 5.

Even after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father.

Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.

In a study of 6,500 children from the ADDHEALTH database, father closeness was negatively correlated with the number of a child’s friends who smoke, drink, and smoke marijuana. Closeness was also correlated with a child’s use of alcohol, cigarettes, and hard drugs and was connected to family structure. Intact families ranked higher on father closeness than single-parent families.

Source: National Fatherhood Initiative. “Family Structure, Father Closeness, & Drug Abuse.” Gaithersburg, MD: National Fatherhood Initiative, 2004: 20-22.

Of the 228 students studied, those from single-parent families reported higher rates of drinking and smoking as well as higher scores on delinquency and aggression tests when compared to boys from two-parent households.

Source: Griffin, Kenneth W., Gilbert J. Botvin, Lawrence M. Scheier, Tracy Diaz and Nicole L. Miller. “Parenting Practices as Predictors of Substance Use, Delinquency, and Aggression Among Urban Minority Youth: Moderating Effects of Family Structure and Gender.” Psychology of Addictive Behaviors 14 (June 2000): 174-184.

Father Factor in Childhood Obesity

The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth found that obese children are more likely to live in father-absent homes than are non-obese children.

Source: National Longitudinal Survey of Youth

Study that looked at family lifestyle and parent’s Body Mass Index (BMI) over a nine year period found:

Father’s Body Mass Index (BMI) predicts son’s and daughter’s BMI independent of offspring’s alcohol intake, smoking, physical fitness, and father’s education

Furthermore, BMI in sons and daughters consistently higher when fathers were overweight or obese

Physical fitness of daughters negatively related to their father’s obesity

Obesity of fathers associated with a four-fold increase in the risk of obesity of sons and daughters at age 18

Source: Burke V, Beilin LJ, Dunbar D. “Family lifestyle and parental body mass index as predictors of body mass index in Australian children: a longitudinal study.” Department of Medicine, Royal Perth Hospital, University of Western Australia, and the Western Australian Heart Research Institute; Perth, Australia.

A fathers’ body mass index (a measurement of the relative composition of fat and muscle mass in the human body) is directly related to a child’s activity level. In a study of 259 toddlers, more active children were more likely to have a father with a lower BMI than less active children.

Source: Finn, Kevin, Neil Johannsen, and Bonny Specker. “Factors associated with physical activity in preschool children.” The Journal of Pediatrics 140 (January 2002): 81-85.

A study that looked at dietary intake and physical activity of parents and their daughters over a two year period found:

Daughter’s BMI predicted by father’s diets and father’s enjoyment of physical activity

As father’s BMI rose, so did their daughter’s BMI

Source: Davison KK, Birch LL. “Child and parent characteristics as predictors of change in girls’ body mass index.” Department of Human Development and Family Studies, The Pennsylvania State University, University Park, Pennsylvania 16802, USA.

Study that looked at the relationship between parent’s total and percentage body fat and daughter’s total body fat over a two and one-half year period found:

Father’s, not mother’s, total and percentage body fat the best predictor of changes in daughter’s total and percentage body fat.

Source: Figueroa-Colon R, Arani RB, Goran MI, Weinsier RL. “Paternal body fat is a longitudinal predictor of changes in body fat in premenarcheal girls.” Department of Pediatrics, General Clinical Research Center, Medical Statistics Unit, Comprehensive Cancer Center, University of Alabama at Birmingham, USA.

Two studies that have looked at the determinants of physical activity in obese and non-obese children found:

Obese children less likely to report that their father’s were physically active than were the children of non-obese children. This determinant not found for mothers.

Father’s inactivity strong predictor of children’s inactivity.

Source: Trost SG, Kerr LM, Ward DS, Pate RR. “Physical activity and determinants of physical activity in obese and non-obese children. School of Human Movement Studies, The University of Queensland, Brisbane, Queensland 4072, Australia.

Source: Fogelholm M, Nuutinen O, Pasanen M, Myohanen E, Saatela T. “Parent-child relationship of physical activity patterns and obesity.” University of Helsinki, Lahti Research and Training Centre, Finland.

Children who lived with single mothers were significantly more likely to become obese by a 6-year follow-up, as were black children, children with nonworking parents, children with nonprofessional parents, and children whose mothers did not complete high school.

Source: Strauss RS, Knight J. “Influence of the home environment on the development of obesity in children.” Division of Pediatric Gastroenterology and Nutrition, University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, Robert Wood Johnson School of Medicine, New Brunswick, New Jersey 08903, USA.

Father Factor in Education

 

Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, D.C.: GPO, 1993.

Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

Students living in father-absent homes are twice as likely to repeat a grade in school; 10 percent of children living with both parents have ever repeated a grade, compared to 20 percent of children in stepfather families and 18 percent in mother-only families.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

Students in single-parent families or stepfamilies are significantly less likely than students living in intact families to have parents involved in their schools. About half of students living in single-parent families or stepfamilies have parents who are highly involved, while 62 percent of students living with both their parents have parents who are highly involved in their schools.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

In 2001, 61 percent of 3- to 5-year olds living with two parents were read aloud to everyday by a family member, compared to 48% of children living in single- or no-parent families.

Source: Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics. America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2002. Table ED1. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 2003.

Kindergarteners who live with single-parents are over-represented in those lagging in health, social and emotional, and cognitive outcomes. Thirty-three percent of children who were behind in all three areas were living with single parents while only 22% were not lagging behind.

Source: Wertheimer, Richard and Tara Croan, et al. Attending Kindergarten and Already Behind: A Statistical Portrait of Vulnerable Young Children. Child Trends Research Brief. Publication #2003-20. Washington, DC: Child Trends, 2003.

In two-parent families, children under the age of 13 spend an average of 1.77 hours engaged in activities with their fathers and 2.35 hours doing so with their mothers on a daily basis in 1997. Children in single parent families spent on .42 hours with their fathers and 1.26 hours with their mothers on daily basis.

Source: Lippman, Laura, et al. Indicators of Child, Family, and Community Connections. Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation. Washington, DC: US Department of Health and Human Services, 2004.

A study of 1330 children from the PSID showed that fathers who are involved on a personal level with their child schooling increases the likelihood of their child’s achievement. When fathers assume a positive role in their child’s education, students feel a positive impact.

Source: McBride, Brent A., Sarah K. Schoppe-Sullivan, and Moon-Ho Ho. “The mediating role of fathers’ school involvement on student achievement.” Applied Developmental Psychology 26 (2005): 201-216.

Half of all children with highly involved fathers in two-parent families reported getting mostly A’s through 12th grade, compared to 35.2% of children of nonresident father families.

Source: National Center for Education Statistics. The Condition of Education. NCES 1999022. Washington, DC: U.S. Dept. of Education, 1999: 76.

The Numbers

According to 2009 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes.

In 1960, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes.

The Consequences

Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents to:

Be poor

Use drugs

Experience educational problems

Experience health problems

Experience emotional problems

Experience behavioral problems

Be victims of child abuse

Engage in criminal behavior

 

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Why Are Families Breaking Down?  Written by Pastor Terry Coomer

Elwood Bible Baptist Church, Elwood, Indiana 46036

 Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you this day whom you will serve: whether the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I am greatly burdened about the family in America. The direction we are going today is total destruction. There are many reasons for this. We live in a day when words like love, commitment, responsibility, compassion, faith, church, righteousness, common sense, God, the Word of God, mean virtually nothing. I believe that much of that is due to the breakdown of the family.

Folks, the Bible strongly emphasize the family. Today, if you try to encourage a family to do as God has commanded, you will hear comments like “that church or pastor is weird, strict, legalistic, or a cult.” Most of these people have no idea what a cult is and are too spiritually ignorant to see the breakdown that is affecting their family.

The weakness of the family today is the lack of knowledge of the Word of God and an unwillingness to obey the Word of God. 2 Timothy 3:15 says that Timothy knew the holy scriptures “from a child.” It is important for our children to know the Word of God. It takes parents who are willing to make the commitment to study the Word of God and then to teach it to their children. A child must learn to have a relationship with God through His Word. A family can never be right with God as long as the parents are not having a relationship with God through His Word.

The family is a divine creation. Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them; and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

The family was created before the church. The family is a unit. Certainly, the family affects the church. The family is a divine institution. Exodus 20:12 “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

I want you to notice something very important here, “father and mother” is a unit. It is important to understand that there is fidelity in that unit.

The family is important in the eyes of God, especially a godly family, which is rare today. (See Ephesians 6:22-33.)

How far away have we gotten from a godly family today? How far are we away from what the Word of God says on this issue? Unfortunately, very far. It is like night and day. The church today has done a miserable job. Most pastors are under tremendous pressure today to compromise the Word of God for entertainment. Many do compromise because they are afraid they will lose people. Many Independent Baptist Church bulletins look like an airline flight and departure schedule. The less time we can give to the Bible the more the average Christian likes it. They believe that activities make them spiritual rather than a relationship with God through His Word. Many Pastors seek to find out what works to draw a crowd rather than what is right. You have homes that are running themselves to death thinking they are doing the work of God.

Many churches today have ungodly music to appeal to the flesh so they can get a crowd. They cancel services where the word of God should be preached so they can have a southern gospel sing. These people do not worship God, they worship music and activities. It is nothing more than idolatry. Then they wonder why their kids grow up to live wicked, immoral, ungodly lives and have no desire for spiritual things. Divorce is rampant and we have many people living after the lusts of the flesh right in the church ministry. 2 Timothy 4:3 warns that “the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.” Folks, that time is now! You have people today running from church to church until they can hear it like they want it rather than what God really says. The way to build godly families is to have a good church that preaches the Word of God and stands for it. The parents who attend that church must desire the Word of God and take the time and have the commitment themselves to study the Word so they can teach the Word to their children.

I looked at some statistics for America. The numbers are alarming:

1.   Divorces granted 1970–708,000, 1980–1,170,000 up 65%
2.   Unmarried couples 1970–523,000, 1980–1,346,000 up 157%
3.   Persons living alone 1970–10,851,000, 1980–17,202,000 up 58.5%
4.   Children living with two parents 1970–58,926,000, 1980–48,295,000 down 18%
5.   Children living with one parent 1970–8,230,000, 1980–11,528,000 up 40.1%
6.   Families with both husband and wife working 1970–20,327,000, 1980–24,253,000 up 19.4%

These statistics reveal some serious problems that we are facing in the family, and these numbers were from a few years ago and are much worse now.

THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE BREAKDOWN OF THE HOME IS FATHERS NOT FULFILLING THEIR BIBLICAL ROLE OF LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME. This is the most important reason for unhappy families.

God says, worship is to be led by the father. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:9).

Most fathers I know could care less. This is a wicked thing. There is more to being a father than just producing children. The lack of leadership by the father today in every area is the most important factor in the breakdown of the American home. I pray the Lord will give us more men like Joshua.

Joshua 24:14-15, “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.”

There has to be a consecration by dad. There is more to a marriage than just living together in a physical relationship.

Lack of godly male leadership brings about the disastrous consequences of rebellion, delinquency, and sexual promiscuity. Divorce is usually caused by a father not taking his Biblical responsibilities and is something God hates, (See Malachi 2:12-17. Matthew 19:5-6.)

The most important cause of divorce in America is the lack of proper, godly leadership by the father and husband. It is also the most frequent cause of children’s feelings of rejection, behavioral problems, and anxieties.  Ephesians 6:1-4. Notice in verse 4, “And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “wrath” means a strong desire to avenge. How does a father provoke a child to wrath? By not bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture means training with structure. Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father.

David Blankenhorn in his 1995 book, “Fatherless America,” says “the culture change from a stable, two parent home to the father’s abandonment of his responsibilities of marriage and parenting is America’s most urgent social problem. The father’s absence is the main reason for unhappy homes, many current social problems, and is a national crisis of our time.”

According to the National Fatherhood Institute, 40% of the children in the United States have not seen their father for a year! In the last 15 years “fatherless” children jumped from 10.2 million to 15.6 million. 70% of juveniles in detention centers and reformatories are children of fatherless homes. Statistics indicate that “violent criminals” are overwhelmingly males who grew up without a father’s leadership. This includes 60% of America’s rapists, 72% of adolescent murders, and 70% of long-term prison inmates. One out of every four high school seniors graduate functionally illiterate. It is more than a physical presence. There are many homes where a father is there, but that is all. They want all their needs fulfilled, but do not want to take the spiritual, godly, or normal leadership that God intended. Instead children grow up listening to their parents fight, cuss, yell, scream, spend money on all kinds of entertainment and material possessions trying to be happy.

The father’s failure to take responsibility and leadership in the home has created a valueless, unhappy, fractured home and society. This failure has had a devastating effect on our children and has spawned a multitude of wicked societal problems including delinquency, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and violence.

The family is in trouble in America because men fail to be the leaders God wants them to be. We desperately need to pray for the men of this country to do as God has commanded. The results of the men not obeying God have been disastrous. The great need is for men to repent of their sins, to really come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and then to be obedient to the commands of God from His Word. Men must be the leaders God desires them to be. May God help us to pray for the men of America.

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