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Posts tagged ‘education’

WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES THAT GOES INTO THE MAKING OF A GOOD FATHER?

WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES THAT GOES INTO THE MAKING OF A GOOD FATHER?

Pastor Davis with Grand Daughter-Shania

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

You are my FATHER/MOTHER: God breathed (SPITIT)

WE ARE:  Your gift from God, you were chosen

YOUR MISSION: To care for us; protect us

To teach us; lead and guide us

Provide a safe and secure environment for us to grow

To love and nurture us; lead by example

To provide the necessities of life for us, so that we can grow without worry or want

To ensure that we receive wisdom and knowledge that will shape us as we grow into our own

  • You may or may not have been there when I took my first breath
  • You may or may not have been there when I took my first step
  • You may or may not have been there on my first day of school
  • You may or may not have been there when I hit my first ball
  • You may or may not have been there when I lost my first tooth
  • You may or may not have been there when I shed my first tear
  • You may or may not have been there when I went on my first date
  • You may or may not have been there when I went to my high school prom
  • You may or may have not been there when I graduated high school/college
  • So many parts of my growth and development process you may or may not have been a part of, but you know what; it doesn’t matter because you are still my Father/Mother.

FATHER:

How tall and proud you stand with strong sturdy hands

Firms glance with eyes that see the truth in you

A heart that loves you no matter what it sees on your face or hears on your lips

How long his arms that embrace you across the miles and time, always finding the way to where-ever you are

How large his heart is, so full of the lives of others held dear with barely enough room for him in there

Always giving, always aware, always there; those are some of “THE QUALITIES THAT GOES INTO THE MAKING OF A GOOD FATHER?”

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TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)         

Teaching Kids Respect-My-Grand Son Tony Byars (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Remember, the process for training up a child to learn respect begins with you, “the parent.”  Set the example for your child.  You as the Parent have a duty to God and to your children to instruct them in the reasons for being respectful, study (Proverbs 1:84:16:20Ephesians 6:1-4). These verses should enlighten your mind on what God wants us to know about the proper role we play in raising our children to have and show respect for authority.

These principles equip your children for success in life and prepare them to assume their place in the kingdom. You as a Parent do more harm to your children by not instructing and re-enforcing these truths (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).

Your child mimics what you do — if your child sees you yelling, cursing, interrupting or being sarcastic, your child believes this behavior is natural, explains Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development expert. If you want your child to respect you, teach him or her how to do so.  If you want your child to have respected you and other authority figures you must give respect to your child. This means you support your child and his or her feelings. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, and refrain from saying anything negative that can hurt your child.  Respect is a two-way street. Just because you are an authoritative figure doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your child. Your child is a person too.

Let us be mindful that when God commands us to respect certain individuals it is assumed they are respectable. One of the difficult lessons to learn in life is that we are sometimes disappointed by those whom we have come to respect. Parents sin (Colossians 3:21); elders digress (1 Timothy 5:19-20); governments become corrupt (Psalms 9:17); men become wicked (2 Timothy 3:13). In times like these, we remember that the honor we give others, even the undeserving, is a reflection of the esteem with which we hold Christ (Ephesians 6:5-7).

English: Young saint Timothy with his mother

English: Young saint Timothy with his mother (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes the young demand respect for themselves. They are certainly entitled to the same honor which others receive (I Peter 2:17). However, the same assumptions hold for them as well, those honored are honorable and the respected are respectable. Paul admonished Timothy to let no man despise his youth (I Timothy 4:12). In order to accomplish that task Paul urged him to be an example in all areas of life. If we want to be respected we must learn it and earn it.

Now let us look at one of the most common and misunderstood ways that a child shows lack of respect for adults, it is by interrupting adult conversations.  For me as a child, this was truly a no, no. However, this is often done when a child continuously pulls on their Mother’s arm while saying, “Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie,” repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention. The child has demanded priority over the adult with whom her mother was speaking, and in essence has said, “Me first! I’m more important than you are!” The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.

A child who has something to say to parents who are engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his or her parent, making sure that his or her parent sees them. At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, “Excuse me one moment,” and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child’s question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child’s concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child’s.

When adults are engaged in conversation in the presence of children (for instance, at dinner), the children should not dominate or dictate the direction of the conversation. The way another generation expressed this thought was, “Children should be seen and not heard.” It is not that children should not speak at all, but that they should not think that they have equal status around the dinner table with the adults. Sitting quietly and learning to listen while at the dinner table is a key ingredient to a Childs ability to learn respect and proper communication with other adult figures.  Many children, if not taught respect by their parents, will actually dominate the conversation, making it impossible for the parents and guests to have an adult discussion.

Children should be taught to sit quietly and respond enthusiastically when spoken to, or when an adult shows an interest in them or their activities. They should be spirited responders, and not initiators, when adults are present.

We must always know our place and keep in mind, that we are the adults in the room, and we are either going to be the teacher are we are going to be taught by our children.  If we are Godly parents, we know that we must always remain in the will of God and be obedient to the word of God, knowing that everything we do our children is watching and learning from us.  A key ingredient to just how our children learn respect is through observation.  They learn how to honor their parents by observing how their parents honor one another (Ephesians 5:2829), and by seeing how their parents treat their grandparents (1 Timothy 5:4Matthew 15:6). They learn how to honor government by observing how their parents respect the law (I Peter 2:13-15Luke 20:25I Timothy 2:1-2). They learn how to honor their employers by observing how their parents honor theirs (Ephesians 4:286:6-72 Thessalonians 3:10). And, they learn to honor God by observing their parents do the same (Matthew 6:33).

Know this one truth, and that is God will always have the last word on how respect and honor works in our daily lives.  In (Ephesians 6:2-4 AMP) the word says this, “Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  This honor is due because parents have sacrificed so much for their children.  They are the guides, the providers and protectors of their offspring. Their love and sacrifice should command our respect; this is why God says, “It is right.”

The aged are worthy of our respect (Leviticus 19:32Proverbs 20:29). However, it is again assumed that they command that respect by their character (Proverbs 16:31;Job 32:9). The aged have attained wisdom through their experiences and spirituality (Job 12:12). Their lives have been a blessing to their families and communities because of their accomplishments. Their posterity is indebted to them for their accomplishments. We do stand on the shoulders of giants.

Now in conclusion let me leave you with this final perspective, why has this become such a problem in the 21st century? I submit to you that this should not come as a surprise to you because we have a generation of kids raising kids.  With our economy in the shape that it is in and both parents having to leave home for work just to make ends meet, we have turn over the raising of our children to the T.V. and video games.  Drugs and Alcoholic has invaded our communities and the drug addictions and early death rate of so many of our youth are causing grandparents and great grand parents to become parents to their grand children at a time when they are ill equipped to do so.  The children have already grown up with a bad attitude of disrespect for the adults and the authority figures that now must care for them.

While it is unfortunate, it is nevertheless often necessary to apply correction. A failure to do this when it is called for encourages further disrespect (Ecclesiastes 8:11). For this reason then, God has allowed for government to punish evildoers (Romans 13:24), the church to correct the unrepentant (Titus 1:132 Thessalonians 3:6), and parents to discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24).

Let me assure you, this is not the final word on this subject by no means; I will speak more on this subject again soon.  It is a subject that has many view points. In my next message I will have others to share their views on this subject until we all get a complete picture on what and how to deal effective with this matter.  If you have a point of view that you would like to share, please email it to me and I will consider it in my next lesson on this subject.  I leave you with my peace, that you may enjoy the benefits of God’s grace and mercy.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

TEACHING OUR CHILDREN (SHANIA A. BYARS) PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS

What happens when kids grow up disrespecting authority figures? We see the prison system all over the country is over crowded with young children who grew up not knowing what it meant to obey authority.  The grave yards are quickly becoming a place where young children are been sent because people have become so fed up with children robbing, beating, threaten and even murdering their parents and other adults that the public is fighting back and shooting and killing these children when their own lives are threaten.  Here in my city of Detroit, just two weeks ago a sixteen year old boy attempted a carjack, the man he attempted to carjack was armed and after ordering the kid to get out of his car and the kid refused, the man shot and killed the young boy.  This is a tragedy and failure on the parent’s part to teach their son that they must respect authority and not be out robbing, stealing and killing other people.  Prosecutors around the country are putting kids on trial from the age of 10 and up as adults.

Respect for authority begins in the home, if your children are not taught to show respect for their parents are other adults in their home and community, they will most certainly not show respect for the government, such as police, teachers, the courts, all other authority figures and the churchRespect for authority comes through the realization that it is set up to help us and not to control us.  It must begin when the children are young and can understand that they are loved and what is being taught to them is that we love them and how to love others by the love and respect that they are shown.

This does not mean that children obey all adults; they only have to obey those to whom their parents have delegated that authority, such as teachers, coaches, etc. However, there should be a deference given to adults by children because of their age and experience.

Respecting authority is something our children should do without any hesitations; however, before they can do this, they have to be taught the meaning of respect and how and why it has to be a key ingredient in all of our lives. All authority is from God (Romans 13:1). Learning to respect an authority, no matter who the particular authority figure is, is respecting God, and is foundational for our children’s future.

As a young person growing up in my community, we all were taught to refer to all adults by saying “Mr. and Mrs., yes Sir and yes Maim,” this was a sign of respect, and immediately set the adult apart from the child’s friends.  Not understanding the principle involved, many adults will say, “Call me (their first name).” A parent can then explain that using “Mr.” and “Mrs.” and the last name is being done for the child’s sake, to help him to learn to show respect for adults.

Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.

The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child’s natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.

Let us understand a very important thing as to respect, and that is age affects children’s respect. Both Children and adults deserve respect at every age. Here is a guideline based on age:

Babies – They are too young to show respect but when you meet their needs, they learn to trust you. This helps as they get older because respect for authority is based on trust.

Toddlers – They are old enough to learn to say “please” and “thank you”.

Preschoolers – This is a good time to teach rules and consequences.

Elementary age – They show the most respect for adults who make fair rules. It helps to let them have a say in the rules that they are expected to follow.

Middle and High Schoolers – Allow them to show independence, such as clothing or hairstyles, but make sure you have guidelines. They will appreciate the respect you are showing them. We respect you and the incredible job that you have, being a parent.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to equip our children to function well in the world, and if we

Picture of me showing love for my Grand Children

neglect that responsibility our children could easily wind up in prison are the graves.  No parent wants this for their child, therefore it is important that we address the needs of our children when they are born and stay with it no matter how difficult the task may become into their adult lives.

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect. Keep in mind that respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know you want what’s best for them, and the best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is. Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.  Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.  Although you may not realize it, your child must also respect herself or himself.
This concludes part one of a two part message.  Please read and study this as the first session of many to come on this message.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

THE PRESIDENT SLOW JAMS THE NEWS

President Barack Obama appeared on the Jimmy Fallon late night T.V show and Slow Jams the News.  This involved a discussion about Congress passing the bill not to increase the college student loans. Watch and enjoy the laughs.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA PRESENTS THE AMERICAN JOBS ACT

Tonight President Barack Obama took the first step in putting America back to work by presenting to a joint session of Congress at the United States Capitol the American Jobs Act.

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)         

Remember, the process for training up a child to learn respect begins with you, “the parent.”  Set the example for your child.  You as the Parent have a duty to God and to your children to instruct them in the reasons for being respectful, study (Proverbs 1:84:16:20Ephesians 6:1-4). These verses should enlighten your mind on what God wants us to know about the proper role we play in raising our children to have and show respect for authority.

These principles equip your children for success in life and prepare them to assume their place in the kingdom. You as a Parent do more harm to your children by not instructing and re-enforcing these truths (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).

Your child mimics what you do — if your child sees you yelling, cursing, interrupting or being sarcastic, your child believes this behavior is natural, explains Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development expert. If you want your child to respect you, teach him or her how to do so.  If you want your child to have respected you and other authority figures you must give respect to your child. This means you support your child and his or her feelings. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, and refrain from saying anything negative that can hurt your child.  Respect is a two-way street. Just because you are an authoritative figure doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your child. Your child is a person too.

Let us be mindful that when God commands us to respect certain individuals it is assumed they are respectable. One of the difficult lessons to learn in life is that we are sometimes disappointed by those whom we have come to respect. Parents sin (Colossians 3:21); elders digress (1 Timothy 5:19-20); governments become corrupt (Psalms 9:17); men become wicked (2 Timothy 3:13). In times like these, we remember that the honor we give others, even the undeserving, is a reflection of the esteem with which we hold Christ (Ephesians 6:5-7).

Sometimes the young demand respect for themselves. They are certainly entitled to the same honor which others receive (I Peter 2:17). However, the same assumptions hold for them as well, those honored are honorable and the respected are respectable. Paul admonished Timothy to let no man despise his youth (I Timothy 4:12). In order to accomplish that task Paul urged him to be an example in all areas of life. If we want to be respected we must learn it and earn it.

Now let us look at one of the most common and misunderstood ways that a child shows lack of respect for adults, it is by interrupting adult conversations.  For me as a child, this was truly a no, no. However, this is often done when a child continuously pulls on their Mother’s arm while saying, “Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie,” repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention. The child has demanded priority over the adult with whom her mother was speaking, and in essence has said, “Me first! I’m more important than you are!” The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.

A child who has something to say to parents who are engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his or her parent, making sure that his or her parent sees them. At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, “Excuse me one moment,” and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child’s question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child’s concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child’s.

When adults are engaged in conversation in the presence of children (for instance, at dinner), the children should not dominate or dictate the direction of the conversation. The way another generation expressed this thought was, “Children should be seen and not heard.” It is not that children should not speak at all, but that they should not think that they have equal status around the dinner table with the adults. Sitting quietly and learning to listen while at the dinner table is a key ingredient to a Childs ability to learn respect and proper communication with other adult figures.  Many children, if not taught respect by their parents, will actually dominate the conversation, making it impossible for the parents and guests to have an adult discussion.

Children should be taught to sit quietly and respond enthusiastically when spoken to, or when an adult shows an interest in them or their activities. They should be spirited responders, and not initiators, when adults are present.

We must always know our place and keep in mind, that we are the adults in the room, and we are either going to be the teacher are we are going to be taught by our children.  If we are Godly parents, we know that we must always remain in the will of God and be obedient to the word of God, knowing that everything we do our children is watching and learning from us.  A key ingredient to just how our children learn respect is through observation.  They learn how to honor their parents by observing how their parents honor one another (Ephesians 5:2829), and by seeing how their parents treat their grandparents (1 Timothy 5:4Matthew 15:6). They learn how to honor government by observing how their parents respect the law (I Peter 2:13-15Luke 20:25I Timothy 2:1-2). They learn how to honor their employers by observing how their parents honor theirs (Ephesians 4:286:6-72 Thessalonians 3:10). And, they learn to honor God by observing their parents do the same (Matthew 6:33).

Know this one truth, and that is God will always have the last word on how respect and honor works in our daily lives.  In (Ephesians 6:2-4 AMP) the word says this, “Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  This honor is due because parents have sacrificed so much for their children.  They are the guides, the providers and protectors of their offspring. Their love and sacrifice should command our respect; this is why God says, “It is right.”

The aged are worthy of our respect (Leviticus 19:32Proverbs 20:29). However, it is again assumed that they command that respect by their character (Proverbs 16:31;Job 32:9). The aged have attained wisdom through their experiences and spirituality (Job 12:12). Their lives have been a blessing to their families and communities because of their accomplishments. Their posterity is indebted to them for their accomplishments. We do stand on the shoulders of giants.

Now in conclusion let me leave you with this final perspective, why has this become such a problem in the 21st century? I submit to you that this should not come as a surprise to you because we have a generation of kids raising kids.  With our economy in the shape that it is in and both parents having to leave home for work just to make ends meet, we have turn over the raising of our children to the T.V. and video games.  Drugs and Alcoholic has invaded our communities and the drug addictions and early death rate of so many of our youth are causing grandparents and great grand parents to become parents to their grand children at a time when they are ill equipped to do so.  The children have already grown up with a bad attitude of disrespect for the adults and the authority figures that now must care for them.

While it is unfortunate, it is nevertheless often necessary to apply correction. A failure to do this when it is called for encourages further disrespect (Ecclesiastes 8:11). For this reason then, God has allowed for government to punish evildoers (Romans 13:24), the church to correct the unrepentant (Titus 1:132 Thessalonians 3:6), and parents to discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24).

Let me assure you, this is not the final word on this subject by no means; I will speak more on this subject again soon.  It is a subject that has many view points. In my next message I will have others to share their views on this subject until we all get a complete picture on what and how to deal effective with this matter.  If you have a point of view that you would like to share, please email it to me and I will consider it in my next lesson on this subject.  I leave you with my peace, that you may enjoy the benefits of God’s grace and mercy.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

 

 

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART ONE)

What happens when kids grow up disrespecting authority figures? We see the prison system all over the country is over crowded with young children who grew up not knowing what it meant to obey authority.  The grave yards are quickly becoming a place where young children are been sent because people have become so fed up with children robbing, beating, threaten and even murdering their parents and other adults that the public is fighting back and shooting and killing these children when their own lives are threaten.  Here in my city of Detroit, just two weeks ago a sixteen year old boy attempted a carjack, the man he attempted to carjack was armed and after ordering the kid to get out of his car and the kid refused, the man shot and killed the young boy.  This is a tragedy and failure on the parent’s part to teach their son that they must respect authority and not be out robbing, stealing and killing other people.  Prosecutors around the country are putting kids on trial from the age of 10 and up as adults.

Respect for authority begins in the home, if your children are not taught to show respect for their parents are other adults in their home and community, they will most certainly not show respect for the government, such as police, teachers, the courts, all other authority figures and the churchRespect for authority comes through the realization that it is set up to help us and not to control us.  It must begin when the children are young and can understand that they are loved and what is being taught to them is that we love them and how to love others by the love and respect that they are shown.

This does not mean that children obey all adults; they only have to obey those to whom their parents have delegated that authority, such as teachers, coaches, etc. However, there should be a deference given to adults by children because of their age and experience.

Respecting authority is something our children should do without any hesitations; however, before they can do this, they have to be taught the meaning of respect and how and why it has to be a key ingredient in all of our lives. All authority is from God (Romans 13:1). Learning to respect an authority, no matter who the particular authority figure is, is respecting God, and is foundational for our children’s future.

As a young person growing up in my community, we all were taught to refer to all adults by saying “Mr. and Mrs., yes Sir and yes Maim,” this was a sign of respect, and immediately set the adult apart from the child’s friends.  Not understanding the principle involved, many adults will say, “Call me (their first name).” A parent can then explain that using “Mr.” and “Mrs.” and the last name is being done for the child’s sake, to help him to learn to show respect for adults.

Since a baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a child what respect is is to earn the respect of the child as they slowly grow into a thinking human being.

The way this is done is first of all by attending to the child’s natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, his needs change. He has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He begins to express his own views, his own preferences, and he has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in his life can treat him with increasing respect and thereby earn his respect in return.

Let us understand a very important thing as to respect, and that is age affects children’s respect. Both Children and adults deserve respect at every age. Here is a guideline based on age:

Babies – They are too young to show respect but when you meet their needs, they learn to trust you. This helps as they get older because respect for authority is based on trust.

Toddlers – They are old enough to learn to say “please” and “thank you”.

Preschoolers – This is a good time to teach rules and consequences.

Elementary age – They show the most respect for adults who make fair rules. It helps to let them have a say in the rules that they are expected to follow.

Middle and High Schoolers – Allow them to show independence, such as clothing or hairstyles, but make sure you have guidelines. They will appreciate the respect you are showing them. We respect you and the incredible job that you have, being a parent.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to equip our children to function well in the world, and if we neglect that responsibility our children could easily wind up in prison are the graves.  No parent wants this for their child, therefore it is important that we address the needs of our children when they are born and stay with it no matter how difficult the task may become into their adult lives.

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect. Keep in mind that respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know you want what’s best for them, and the best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is. Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.  Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.  Although you may not realize it, your child must also respect herself or himself.
This concludes part one of a two part message.  Please read and study this as the first session of many to come on this message.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

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