MY RELATIONSHIP STRATEGIES (PART 7)
IS TRADITIONAL MARRIAGES A THING OF THE PAST?
THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE CEREMONY by Davis
Allow me to begin this discussion by giving you the meaning of Traditional Marriages from the Wikipedia the on line Encyclopedia which states: “Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony.”
People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libido, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment. The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. In some societies these obligations also extend to certain family members of the married persons. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment.
Marriage is usually recognized by the state, a religious authority, or both. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction.
Now listen to how the scriptures describes Marriage and Divorce. It says concerning the marriage, “Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept un-dishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
Concerning Divorce it says, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. Malachi 2:15-17.”
Today the Pew Research stated that we are having a crisis in our marriages issued a report. It said Marriage is increasingly optional and could be on its way to obsolescence, according to a survey of more than 2,600 Americans that examines changing attitudes about relationships today. Among the 2,691 adults surveyed by the Pew Research Center last month, 39% say marriage is becoming obsolete, up from 28% who responded to the same question posed in 1978 by Time Magazine, which participated in the survey.
However, my own research finds that marriages has an opportunity to grow and be strengthen in such a way that will increase more people moving towards marriage and those that are in marriages desiring to stay and make their marriages last forever. What I am saying is that there are certain growing dynamics that can occur only within the dynamic of commitment. Without commitment, you cannot learn to care for another person more than yourself. You cannot learn to value the growth of strength and clarity in another soul, even if that threatens the wants of your personality. When you release the wants of your personality in order to accommodate and encourage another’s growth, you attune yourself to that person’s soul. Without commitment, you cannot learn to see others as your soul sees them-as beautiful and powerful spirits of Light.
Now as a married person you may say, we have made a commitment, and I would say to you that is good. Now live up to your commitment and make your marriage last. However, where I want to bring you too in understanding this new dynamic of commitment is the commitment of a spiritual partnership. This is a partnership between equals for spiritual growth. This is much different from your traditional partnerships of marriage which was designed to assist physical survival, and in which the partners do not necessarily see themselves as equals. When two people marry, they participate in an energy dynamic in which they merge their lives in order to help each other survive physically. The traditional marriage is no longer functional according to the Pew Research Center Poll, but I say to you, It can be replaced with a new type of marriage that is designed to assist spiritual growth.
DEVELOPING A SPIRITUAL PARTNERSHIP (A new type of Marriage)
The underlying premise of this new type of marriage is called; a spiritual partnership and it is a sacred commitment between the partners to assist each other’s spiritual growth. Spiritual partners recognize their equality. Spiritual partners are able to distinguish personality from soul, and, therefore, they are able to discuss the dynamics between them, their interactions, on a less emotionally-bound ground than husbands and wives. That ground does not exist within the consciousness of marriage. It exists only within the consciousness of spiritual partnership because spiritual partners are able to see clearly that there is indeed a deeper reason why they are together, and that that reason has a great deal to do with the evolution of their souls.
When you commit to a spiritual partnership with another human being, you bring the energy of the traditional marriage of spiritual partnership into the physical arena. You begin to form and to live by the values, perceptions, and actions that reflect equality with your partner and a commitment to his or her spiritual development and your own. You begin to set aside the wants of your personality in order to accommodate the needs of your partner’s spiritual growth and, in doing that, you grow yourself. That is how spiritual partnership works.
You begin to see that what is necessary to the health of your partnership is identical with what is necessary to your own spiritual growth, that each of you holds the pieces that the other is missing. If you are jealous, for example, you will find that jealousy is what brings to the surface in your partner an aspect that needs to be healed, and that aspect is mirrored in yourself. You begin to value your partner’s contribution to your development. You experience that his or her perceptions and observations are helpful, and, indeed, central, to your growth, that conversations between you stir deep waters.
You learn the roles of love and commitment and trust in making your partnership work. You learn that love alone is not enough, that without trust, you are not able to give and to receive the love that both of you have for each other. You learn that your commitment must be translated into a form that satisfies the needs of both you and your partner. You learn to value the needs of your partner as much as you value your own, because the partnership that you both want requires two healthy and inwardly secure individuals.
You learn to trust not only each other, but also your ability to grow together. You learn that you put your partnership most at risk by avoiding that which you are most afraid will destroy it. It is not easy to express what is inside you especially that which makes you feel vulnerable or painful or angry or upset. These are the emotions that empower words that can do either damage or can do so much healing. You learn that sharing your concerns with consideration and the intention to heal and trust in the process is the only appropriate avenue. As you approach your needs with courage instead of fear, you ignite a sense of trust. The true human condition in its most perfect form has no secrets. I do not hide, but exists in clear love.
You learn not to do stupid and careless things to each other. You learn that wanting what you want is not enough, but that you must both want it deeply and create it in every day, that you must bring it into being and hold it being with your intentions. As the consciousness of each of you becomes lighter, your partnership becomes richer.
You learn the value of considering the other’s position. By becoming the other person, by truly walking into the fears of the other and then returning into your own being, you open up the conversation to transcend the personal and become healing at the impersonal. This allows you to see each other as spiritual playmates as you work through the areas that require healing in each of you. Even into the toughest moments of your work on feelings of insecurity, you can be light and remind yourself that you are spirits who have taken on the physical experience and have far greater power than you are showing in the moment of weakness.
The things that the individuals have to learn in spiritual union with another individual are the groups, the community’s and the nation’s to learn in spiritual union with other groups, communities and nations. The choice in each instance is between learning through fear and doubt or through wisdom, between the lower-frequency energy currents of the personality and the higher-frequency energy currents of the soul. If the anger of one personality toward another creates distance, shatters intimacy and causes defensiveness, the anger of one nation, or religion, or sex toward another produces the same. If the concern of one personality for another, produces closeness, appreciation and mutual regard, the concern of one nation, or religion, or community for another produces the same. The dynamic is identical.
You are related to every form of Life upon this planet and beyond. As your soul evolves, you move into greater awareness of the nature of that relationship, and the responsibilities that you assume.
The bond between spiritual partners exists as real as it does in a traditional marriage, but for significantly different reasons. Spiritual partners are not together in order to quell each other’s financial fears or because they can produce a house in the suburbs and that entire conceptual framework. The understanding or consciousness that spiritual partners bring to their commitment is different, and, therefore, their commitment is dynamically different. The commitment of spiritual partners is to each other’s spiritual growth, recognizing that that is what each of them is doing on Earth, and that everything serves that.
None of the vows that a human being can take can prevent the spiritual path from exploding through and breaking those vows if the spirit must move on. It is appropriate for spiritual partners to remain together only as long as they grow together.
Spiritual partnership is a much freer and more spiritually accurate dynamic than marriage because spiritual partners come together from a position of spirit and consciousness. How spiritual partners merge and move their concept of partnership is a matter of free will. So long as they recognize that they bring the consequences of their choices into their partnership, and know the full extent of their choices, that is what influences the manner and direction that the partnership goes.
Let us understand this final thing; the institution of marriage will not disappear overnight even though a great percentage of Americans say that it is on the decline, this is according to the Pew Research Center just last month. Marriage will continue to exist, but marriages that succeed will only succeed with the consciousness of spiritual partnership.
Now let me close with this final thought for each one of you who have taken the time to read this entire lesson and the many lessons we teach here daily, “Think Globally, and work locally. Looking beyond ourselves in the real and on line world, to reach out to others who might be in need, for we all are truly our Brothers Keeper, may the grace of God abide in you now and forever, in Jesus name, Amen.