Posts from the ‘FAMILY’ Category

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT PART 2

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT PART 2

PARENT’S HAVE THE GREATER RESPONSIBILITY

THE JOY OF WATCHING MY GRAND CHILDREN GROW UP (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

THE JOY OF WATCHING MY GRAND CHILDREN GROW UP (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

In part one of this four part series we talked about the role parents play in raising loving and respectable children.  We asked you to share your thoughts on what you would do to raise your children up in the right way that would make them a more responsible and productive adult in this society.  Several of you responded and I will share a couple of your response here.

One of our own Ministers, Sister Shirley wrote, “What we as adults, leaders, and parents must understand is that children are a gift from God, one to be cherished. They are our future leaders, doctors, teachers, etc., therefore our responsibility should be to teach and guide them now or pay the price in the future. Life is about choice and chance.”  

When I was a youth living in a small town, everyone knew everyone and no one was ever afraid to correct us if they saw us doing something wrong.  Today, if you correct a child when you see them doing wrong, you will have the parents knocking at your door for chastising their child.  You might even have the police come calling on you, if you are lucky that the child has not shot and killed you.  There is something badly wrong with this picture, but it is a true one today.

I can recall a time when I was in a vacation bible school; my wife at the time was teaching a Bible Study class with one of our Associate Ministers.  I had been called outside to break up a disturbance.  When I came back into the church, this young man’s sister was standing in the middle of the church cursing my wife and the pastor out using all sorts of foul language.  I escorted her outside and attempted to talk with her to no avail.  She left and within a few minutes, just after things had gotten back to normal within the church class, the doors swung open with a loud bang and a loud voice began to roar from the rear of the church.  It was the mother of the two teenagers yelling and screaming at me with language worst than her children had used, telling me what she was going to do to me if I ever put my hands on her children again.

Now this mother was the chairman of the usher board within the church.  Not only were her children wrong, but she was wrong for the way she handled the situation.  Her children went home and lied to her about what had taken place at the church.  She was willing to believe the worst from them, and instead of coming to find out what was going on, she came in accusing me and others of striking her children when no such thing had taken place.  If this had happened when I was a youth, I would have gotten my butt whipped before I left the church, then I would have been taken home to my parents and they would have whipped my butt again.  But you see, in today’s political correctness society, there are too many parents who refuse to correct their own children and will not allow anyone in the churches, schools or the community to do so.  Therefore, the youth’s attitude is you are not my parents and you can’t tell me what to do.  This is a sad commentary for our youth and it is a factor that is contributing to the youth violence in America today.

Another part of this problem of correcting children is some of the abuse that some parents have perpetuated upon their children that has caused the government to get more involved in our daily lives.  We parents are responsible for our children and we must shoulder that responsibility with love, understanding and patience.  Children can be a problem.  There is much peer pressure on them.  They want to fit in with their friends, therefore as a parent, we must try to understand their changing life style, and the growth hormones as they experienced adulthood.  We must treat them with respect, try and understand that they too do have problems and they may not always share those problems with us.  But we must always be willing to put our arms around them and daily tell them that we love them, even though we may not be having the kind of conversation we would like to have with them.  But I tell you that there is power in love.  When our youth can feel within themselves that they are loved, it brings a much different kind of respect from them.

Another one of our readers wrote and shared her story with us as to how she as a single parent is raising her daughter and preparing her for adulthood and to become a creative and productive member of this society.  Here is what she had to say; “I am trying to be here during my daughter’s childhood and teen years. I have chosen to sacrifice a more materialistic living in favor of being a stay at home mom. I’m available to my child when she comes home from school and stay available until she’s in bed at night. I find this helps immensely in our communication and the trust being built between us. We still have immense challenges, as I’m a single mom, but I’m so glad I made the decision to put her before materialism in our lives.”  (The Warrioress  Life of a female Blogger)  We encourage you to go by and read her writings.  You can reach her by clicking on this link:  http://lifeofafemalebiblewarrior.wordpress.com/

We also encourage you to share your story with us and we will include it in Part 3 of this series which we will post next week on Tuesday June 25, 2013.  Your story just might be the one that helps to encourage another parent to become a better parent or perhaps improve their parenting skills and even save a child’s life.

 

 

 

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM RESPECT

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

THERE IS ENOUGH BLAME TO GO AROUND 

Today we begin a four part series on raising loving and respectable children.  We invite each of you to share your thoughts and ideas, and we know that you do have lots of them and we will include as many of them as possible in this series.  We all can learn from each other and by sharing your experiences it might be just the one thing another parent could use to help teach their child respect and save their life.

We are living in very difficult times and raising Children is made more difficult for a variety of reasons and non-more so than the shrinking economy.  It is causing heart-aches, pain and stresses in a lot of families, and sometimes causes them to over react and make very bad decisions that have a negative effect on their children and family life.

Our Children are under a lot of pressure and they are acting it out in the homes, schools, streets and everywhere else with all sorts of violent acts.  When this begins to happen, people start point fingers and blaming others.  There is enough blame to go around when some say that it is liberalism that has caused the violence.  Others say that it is the removal of prayer from our schools.  Some say it is the steady stream of violence we see in the movies, on the nightly news cast, on all sorts of TV Programs and especially the video games.

There are still others who blame the government for overtaxing its citizens, and forcing parents to have to abandon their children for the workplace.

When it comes to our children using guns to settle their differences, there are those who would blame the gun manufacturers and the gun dealers.  But no where do we see anyone taking responsibility for what has happened.  Not the parents, schools, churches, business, government or the youth themselves.  Our U.S. Congress refuses to pass sensible Gun Laws that could be a help in stopping some of the Gun Violence, but No; everyone wants to place the blame on someone else.

It is time that we as parents begin to accept the major portion of responsibility and take control of our children’s lives and get the government out of our homes and bedrooms.  We as parents are responsible for raising our children and it does take the whole community to be involved and always willing to lend a helping hand.

Now I encourage each one of you to share some of your experiences in raising your own children and we will begin posting them in part two of PARENT’S RESPONSIBILITY.” Part Two will be posted on Thursday June 20, 2013.

 

 

PORTRAIT OF A FATHER

PORTRAIT OF A FATHER

Pastor Davis with Father Deacon Davis Byars Sr. Age 95 and still going strong

BY  SISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

The PORTRAIT OF A FATHER is one of a special gift, because God has chosen them and placed them in charge of the family as a nurturer and provider.  FATHERS’ are seen as the strong tower, the leader and diligently goes about seeking how to provide the many necessities essential to the family’s growth. Throughout time FATHERS’ have always sheltered their inner emotions simply because that is how society dictates. Life now paints a different picture for today’s FATHER.

When we think of a FATHER we think of the beginning (the creation) and know that he was created for a purpose and that purpose was for God’s enjoyment. God formed Man out of the dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man became a living soul! Genesis 2:7. God made a covenant with Abraham when he was ninety-nine years old, he said, “This is my covenant with you: You’ll be the FATHER of many nations, I’ll make nations from you, a covenant that includes your descendants, a covenant that goes on and on and on, a covenant that commits me to be your God and the God of your descendants. (Genesis 17:3-8 Mgs)

Today’s FATHER displays a sense of humor and honesty. They are diligently seeking how to be better at their assignment as a Father.  As fathers’ they should strive to build and maintain strong bonds with those entrusted to their care. THE PORTRAIT OF A FATHER should be seen as one of showing honor, humor, honesty, caring, courage, character, grace, guidance while setting boundaries for appropriate behavior within the family. He should be one whom children look-up to as a role model as he follow the rule to love every-one.  Now let us watch together this short video clip of Pastor Davis, Portrait of a Father:

The Bible tells us that, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24 KJV).  Therefore, let us understand that a FATHER can and will make mistakes as he seeks to lead his family in the path that God has set out for him to do so.

Now listen to the words of Thomas More, he says, “Family life is full of major and minor crises—the ups and downs of health, success and failure—and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.”

The PORTRAIT OF A FATHER is one that none of us should take lightly.  Let us lift up our eyes towards heaven and thank God, our HEAVENLY FATHER who has given us this opportunity to be a part of this earthly celebration this weekend to salute and honor all FATHERS who have stood the test of time and given of themselves to be FATHERS in spite of the many trials and tribulations they have had to endure.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL FATHERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND MAY THE PEACE, LOVE AND JOY OF GOD OUR FATHER FILL YOUR HEARTS WITH MUCH JOY AND PEACE ON THIS SPECIAL FATHER’S DAY!

FATHERS ROLE AS LEADERS IN THE AMERICAN FAMILY

FATHERS ROLE AS LEADERS IN THE AMERICAN FAMILY

WHY ARE FAMILIES BREAKING DOWN? PT-2

TRAVIS CHAPEL UNITED METHODIST CHURCH CLEVELAND, GA. (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

TRAVIS CHAPEL UNITED METHODIST CHURCH CLEVELAND, GA. (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

WRITTEN BY PASTOR TERRY COOMER                                                                                                 Elwood Bible Baptist Church, Elwood, Indiana 46036

THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE BREAKDOWN OF THE HOME IS FATHERS NOT FULFILLING THEIR BIBLICAL ROLE OF LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME. This is the most important reason for unhappy families.

God says, worship is to be led by the father. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:9).

Most fathers I know could care less. This is a wicked thing. There is more to being a father than just producing children. The lack of leadership by the father today in every area is the most important factor in the breakdown of the American home. I pray the Lord will give us more men like Joshua.

Joshua 24:14-15, “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.”

There has to be a consecration by dad. There is more to a marriage than just living together in a physical relationship.

Lack of godly male leadership brings about the disastrous consequences of rebellion, delinquency, and sexual promiscuity. Divorce is usually caused by a father not taking his Biblical responsibilities and is something God hates, (See Malachi 2:12-17. Matthew 19:5-6.)

The most important cause of divorce in America is the lack of proper, godly leadership by the father and husband. It is also the most frequent cause of children’s feelings of rejection, behavioral problems, and anxieties.  Ephesians 6:1-4. Notice in verse 4, “And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “wrath” means a strong desire to avenge. How does a father provoke a child to wrath? By not bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; Nurture means training with structure. Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father.

David Blankenhorn in his 1995 book, Fatherless America,” says “the culture change from a stable, two parent home to the father’s abandonment of his responsibilities of marriage and parenting is America’s most urgent social problem. The father’s absence is the main reason for unhappy homes, many current social problems, and is a national crisis of our time.”

According to the National Fatherhood Institute, 40% of the children in the United States have not seen their father for a year! In the last 15 years “fatherless” children jumped from 10.2 million to 15.6 million. 70% of juveniles in detention centers and reformatories are children of fatherless homes. Statistics indicate that “violent criminals” are overwhelmingly males who grew up without a father’s leadership. This includes 60% of America’s rapists, 72% of adolescent murders, and 70% of long-term prison inmates. One out of every four high school seniors graduate functionally illiterate. It is more than a physical presence. There are many homes where a father is there, but that is all. They want all their needs fulfilled, but do not want to take the spiritual, godly, or normal leadership that God intended. Instead children grow up listening to their parents fight, cuss, yell, scream, spend money on all kinds of entertainment and material possessions trying to be happy.

The father’s failure to take responsibility and leadership in the home has created a valueless, unhappy, fractured home and society. This failure has had a devastating effect on our children and has spawned a multitude of wicked societal problems including delinquency, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and violence.

The family is in trouble in America because men fail to be the leaders God wants them to be. We desperately need to pray for the men of this country to do as God has commanded. The results of the men not obeying God have been disastrous. The great need is for men to repent of their sins, to really come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and then to be obedient to the commands of God from His Word. Men must be the leaders God desires them to be. May God help us to pray for the men of America.

FATHERS HOLD THE KEY TO THE NEXT GENERATION

FATHERS HOLD THE KEY TO THE NEXT GENERATION

A TEACHABLE MOMENT FOR PASTOR DAVIS WITH TWO OF HIS GRAND CHILDREN

A TEACHABLE MOMENT FOR PASTOR DAVIS WITH TWO OF HIS GRAND CHILDREN

WRITTEN BY SHIRLEY RHODES

Who share in the responsibility of nurturing and grooming the next generation in roles of leadership even in the home? FATHERS HOLD THE KEY TO THE NEXT GENERATION:

A Father is placed in the position as “The Head” and not the tail, which means that is the position God designated him to be, from the very beginning of creation. Adam is known as the first created father, molded and designed by God with his own similarities. God took time to create something special to share in every-thing he had made in the physical environment, establishing a relationship in which to shower his love and care upon. Even though throughout a period of time that bond was broken by temptations from Satan, his love for his creation remains.

Consider fathers of every creed, color and national origin, they all are fathers designed for a purpose.  Along the way God gave the charge to produce and replenish, that included children. The great responsibilities of fathers are to be someone children can identify with and learn from.

Godly fathers are placed in position to serve as leaders, role models and providers which begins in the home.  Fathers hold within themselves the ability to propel children to reach goals others might not see or understand. There will always be the connection and responsibility of Godly fathers to instill in all children faith and hope in them-selves, simply because they tend to see value in them the way Jesus did.

Fathers are extended branches of how God has designed the family and connecting their role as providers and nurtures.  Today too many excuses are given as to how our youth have wandered from the original plan of God and questioning why they seem so out of touch with the true meaning for their lives. Somewhere along the line principles of wisdoms’ teaching have not been equally dispersed to our young men and women.

Fathers as examples should share their own life experiences as role models to encourage those struggling to find acceptance and or their place in society. Extended families are becoming a thing of the past; therefore, men (fathers) are expected to take up the torch of leadership and guide young men toward the heights God has prepared just for them. The prophecy of Isaiah reminds us this way; even the youths shall faint and be weary, the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait on the Lord shall be refreshed, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah 40:30-31).

This is a challenge to all Fathers; help our youth to gain wisdom and knowledge that will steer them on the right course. Fathers as leaders and role models hold the key to lifting young men to position and power when allowing God to take the lead. The future will come, what will our leaders really be like if they are not taught responsibility, respect, leadership and character as well as the value of family?

 

LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER MY SON AND BE WISE

LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER MY SON AND BE WISE

THE MINDS' EYE BLACK AND WHITE IMAGE GALLERY PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS

THE MINDS’ EYE BLACK AND WHITE IMAGE GALLERY PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS

Listen, my son, be wise,
and steer your life on the right course.
 Do not spend time with heavy wine drinkers
or those who gorge themselves on meat.
 For both the drunk and the glutton will end up broke,
sleeping life away, and clothed in rags.

 Pay attention to your father—after all, he gave you life—
and don’t ignore your mother in her old age.
 Invest in truth, sock it away!
Never cash in wisdom, guidance, or insight.
 The parents of the right-living will celebrate;
yes, parents of children who make wise choices are happy.
So make your parents happy;
delight your mother—after all, she brought you into this world.

 My son, devote yourself to me fully.
Observe my ways, and follow my directions:
 Being drawn to a prostitute is like falling down into a deep well,
and being involved with a wicked woman is like descending into a narrow well.
You may never get out alive.
 She waits for you, ready to ambush you like a thief
and ready to multiply unfaithfulness among men.

 Who is wallowing in anguish? Who is full of sorrow?

THE WINE DRINKERS Whenever I wake up from this stupor,     I’ll have another drink!”

THE WINE DRINKERS Whenever I wake up from this stupor,
I’ll have another drink!”

Who has conflicts? Who has complaints?
Who has bruises and can’t remember where they came from?
Who has bloodshot eyes?
 You know who: those who stay up late finishing off the wine,
those who can’t stop savoring spiced wines.
 Look away from the enticing beauty of wine, the deep red hue;
ignore how it shimmers in the cup
and glides down your throat.
 Eventually, when you least expect it, it strikes like a snake;
it stings like viper venom.
 Your vision will blur, and you’ll imagine strange things;
you will say crazy, hurtful things and regret it later.
 You will reel and stagger as if caught on a wave of seasickness,
as a sailor who holds on to a mast for dear life.
 You will say, “They slapped me, but it didn’t hurt.
They beat me, and I didn’t feel a thing!
Whenever I wake up from this stupor,
I’ll have another drink!”

Proverb 23:19-35 The Voice

A TRIBUTE TO MOTHERS WHO HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN TO GUN VIOLENCE

A TRIBUTE TO MOTHERS WHO HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN TO GUN VIOLENCE

WRITTEN BY SHIRLEY RHODES

TRAGEDY IN NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT PHOTO BY SHEER INVESTIGATION.COM 03

TRAGEDY IN NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT PHOTO BY SHEER INVESTIGATION.COM 03

Just a few months ago, a deranged individual with an assault weapon walked into a school located in Newtown, Connecticut and took the lives of 26 young people.  Since then more than 3,900 Mothers’ have lost their children to gun violence and will not be able to hug their children this Mothers’ Day, nor receive a Mothers’ Day wish from their children.  This is truly a tragedy that none of us can comprehend unless we are one of those Mother’s that have lost a child to gun violence.

So many hearts have been broken; so many tears have been shed because the family chain has been broken. Gun violence has taken many young lives and those Mothers have come to know the meaning of shattered and broken.

For those Mothers who have experienced such tragedy and pain, let me encourage you as one Mother to another, please allow this Mothers’ Day to be a time of release and reflection. Take a moment and look around you and you will see your child in the elements of the world God has created.  Look at the flowers as they bloom and beacon you to come closer, see the beauty of the birds as they cross your path, excited and having fun with one another, see the brightness of the sun as the raise beams down upon your body, feel the gentle breeze of the wind as it sweeps across your face and you here in it a soft and sweet voice that says to you, “Hi Mommy, I love you, then you pause, look all around you, and say, I love you also baby!” Now embrace it as a memory of the child that once occupied your space.  Know that they are always there ready to wipe away the tear drop from your eyes and give you encouragement and strength to carry on and fight the good fight that will help others survive the tragedy that took their young, tender and precious lives.

Remember the words of Job: We are all adrift in the same boat: too few days, too many troubles. We spring up like wildflowers in the desert and then we wilt transit in the shadow of a cloud (Job 14: 1-2, MGS).

Allow the memories of your loved one to linger as long as you like but rest assured your child was blessed to you for a season and within that season take the memories and cherish them.

Allow yourself time to mourn and then embrace life as it is given each day because it is a gift that cannot be replaced.  God bless each Mother who have lost a child to violence and may your journey be one traveled in the assurance that at any given moment you will greet your loved one in a unique way, that’s how God have designed it. May you be blessed abundantly this Mother’s Day, 2013?

MOTHER'S DAY ROSE (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

MOTHER’S DAY ROSE (PHOTO BY SHIRLEY RHODES)

WE ARE MARVELOUSLY MADE

WE ARE MARVELOUSLY MADE

 FORMED BY THE MOST AWESOME GOD IN OUR MOTHER’S WOMB

 

CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

“Oh yes, glory Halleluiah, thank you Heavenly Father; you shaped me first inside, then out; YOU FORMED ME IN MY MOTHER’S WOMB. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am MARVELOUSLY MADE! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” Psalm 139:13-14 (MSG)

All that I am and all that I will ever be, God is. God created me in his own image, and likeness. Everything about me God knew before I was even formed in my mother’s womb. I know, without a shadow of doubt, that I am MARVELOUSLY MADE.

Now when we look in our Bibles, we see a picture of just how God begin the process in Genesis chapter 1 verse 2. In the (a) verse the Bible says this “let us make man in our own image, according to our likeness.” This is a very important statement, because God spoke with His team before we were created in our mother’s womb, how he would design His most important creature, and then bring them into the physical realm of life.  How awesome, a God this is, that we now serve.

GOD CREATED THE WORLD INSIDE OUR MOTHER'S WOMB (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

GOD CREATED THE WORLD INSIDE OUR MOTHER’S WOMB (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

When I think about how MARVELOUSLY MADE you and I really are, I see a picture of a newborn baby, in my mind’s eye. This baby is in his mother’s womb. In a speck of watery material smaller than that over the dot of this i, all the future characteristics of this child are programmed, the color of his skin, eyes and hair, the shape of his facial features, the natural abilities he will have. All that the child will be physically and mentally is contained the in germ form in that fertilized egg. From it will develop: …60 trillion cells, 100,000 miles of nerve fiber, 60,000 miles of vessels carrying blood around the body, 250 bones, to say nothing of joints, ligaments and muscles.

Lord I thank you because you formed my inward parts; you covered me while I was still in my mother’s womb. Today Lord I give you the praise, the glory, and the entire honor, because without you there will be no me. All glory belongs to you and you alone, thank you Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you, for you deserve all the praise and glory that my mind can muster up. I am just a small part of this great universe.

Today, as I look towards the heels, from which all my blessings flow, a think of the marvelous creation that you accomplished in my mother’s womb. While I was in my mother’s womb, you formed my inward parts; each one a marvel of divine engineering. I think of my brain, for instance, with its capacity for recording facts, sounds, odors, sites, touch, pain; with its ability to recall; with its power to make computations; with its seemingly endless flair for making decisions and solving problems.

When I think of who I am and what I am in this vast universal, I know without a shadow of doubt that I am a marvelous created man. Sometimes I stop and think of God’s careful planning in the creation of my spirit, my soul, and body. How precious, are his thoughts, his attention to the minutest detail. Each cell almost without exception knows its role in carrying out design a purpose for which the welfare of the body as a whole is so marvelous made.

Now in conclusion, I refer you to Psalms 66 verses one through five, which reads as follow. Make a joyful shout to God, all the Earth! Sing out the honor of his name; make His praise glorious. Say to God, how awesome is your works! Through the greatness of your power, your enemies shall submit themselves to you. All the Earth shall worship you and sing praises to you; they shall sing praises to your name. And see the works of God; he is awesome in his doing towards the sons of man.

Truly I say to you, these powerful words that keep rolling around in my head; what an AWESOME GOD we serve, thank you Heavenly Father for I know that I AM MARVELOUSLY MADE!

A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE

A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE

THE BYARS FAMILY CREATED BY GOD  (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

THE BYARS FAMILY CREATED BY GOD (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

We have entered a brand new year, the old, we have left behind.  All things new lie ahead, and therefore present us with our greatest challenges of all time.  The question then becomes, “how do we solve our family problems in this new year that divided our family in the old year?”  This is a very important question that must be placed at the head of our list of problems to be resolved in 2013, but resolve them we must, because, “A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE!”

Satan is our greatest enemy, and he is continuing his work of divide and conquers.  He knows that families, a church are a business that is divided against its self eventually destroys itself from within.  Therefore, every opportunity he gets, he pushes our hot buttons to make us war against each other.

The time has come for us to learn to lean and depend on the one who has already defeated Satan, to show

LADY WISDOM TRUTH-BE ENCOURAGED (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

LADY WISDOM TRUTH-BE ENCOURAGED (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

us the way of bringing cohesiveness into our families that will triumph over the evilspirits that have divided us in the past.  We are victories, because God has given us the victory to lead our families to victory in 2013.  No weapon formed against us shall prosper.  That means no matter what Satan attempts to do with his limited powers by pitting one member of the family against another member, if we are leaning, depending and trusting in God, Satan is doomed and we can return our families to greatness by knowing the truth.  The bible teaches us in John 8:32 this simple message, “Know the truth and the truth will set you FREE.”

Leaders within the families must stand strong, processing a strong moral character and not comprise their moral integrity for the evil that Satan will present to them.  The Pharisees were a perfect example of presenting division within the family, and Jesus was the perfect example of a leader who presented a strong moral character and showed us the standards by which we must stand on to be a great leader for our familiesJesus said to them, “Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to GodWealth is treacherous, and the arrogant are never at rest. They open their mouths as wide as the grave, and like death, they are never satisfied. In their greed they have gathered up many nations and swallowed many peoples.  (Habakkuk 2:4-5 NLT)

BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED LEADERS IN THE FAMILY

BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED LEADERS IN THE FAMILY

As a leader in our families, our job is to be a servant leader.  Follow the example of Jesus and become a humble servant and serve all humanityFamily members will present you with some of the greatest challenges you will ever encounter.  But you must know how to overcome the feuding by following the example of JesusJesus knew Satan’s strategies and just how he would apply them to bring about division within the familyJesus said to them,Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart. And if Satan is casting out Satan, he is divided and fighting against himself. His own kingdom will not survive. (Matthew 12:25-26 NLT)

Your strong moral character must be the example in which the family in 2013 will rally around and find their moral compass to move towards the purpose and destination that God has already laid out for them.  Remember, just as a good tree bears good fruit and a diseased tree bears inedible fruit, so the fruits of a person’s life will show the quality of his or her characterFruit is a comprehensive word, referring to teaching, character, and action.  Our character is revealed by our conduct.

We have ministered this word to you today from a position of PEACE, PURPOSE, POWER and PROSPERITY.  We encourage you to think globally as you work locally to bring about a change within the family in 2013.  Making it stronger, more cohesive and less divisively.  Empowering it with love, growing it with a purpose, as God blesses you, moles you and shapes you into a powerful, yet humble servant that is capable of moving the family into the realm of possibilities and bringing about the prosperity that is desired for the family in 2013.  I remain your brother in CHRIST JESUS, PASTOR DAVIS/MASTER TEACHER!

Remember, “A FAMILY DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF IS DESTINED TO FAILURE”  Therefore, the time to bring about a change in family unity is now.

 

SCRIPTURES FOR GODLY FATHER’S TO LIVE BY

Psalm 121

Psalm 121

SCRIPTURES FOR GODLY FATHER’S TO LIVE BY  

 

Today, we celebrate  and honor  fathers from every walk in life, from every place in the world, we pause to give God the glory for allowing each one of us to be in His presents this day. The role of fatherhood is threaten more each and every day due to the bad economic conditions that fathers have to bare to earn a living to feed, cloth, educate and provide relief and comfort to the family.  However, we know that God is a loving and merciful God and He will provide a way out for those who learn to trust and depend on Him.  Therefore, to conclude our study on, “WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES,” we will leave you with the word of God to teach you, strengthen you and guide you in your role as leaders.

 

GOD GIVES YOU STRENGHT WHEN…

Man reading Psalms at the Western Wall. Jerusa...

Man reading Psalms at the Western Wall. Jerusalem, Israel/Palestine, March 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You comfort your children in their sorrow

 

Psalm 103:17

 

Amplified Bible(AMP)

 

17But the mercy and loving-kindness of the Lord are from everlasting to everlasting upon those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him and His righteousness is to children’s children

 

Isaiah 40:1, 8

 

1COMFORT, COMFORT My people, says your God.

 

The [a]grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

 

Isaiah 41:10, 15, 16

 

Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.

 

15Behold, I will make you to be a new, sharp, threshing instrument which has teeth; you shall thresh the mountains and beat them small, and shall make the hills like chaff.

 

16You shall winnow them, and the wind shall carry them away, and the tempest or whirlwind shall scatter them. And you shall rejoice in the Lord, you shall glory in the Holy One of Israel.

 

Isaiah 53:4, 5

 

4Surely He has borne our grief’s (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy].

 

5But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.

 

2 Samuel 22:5-7

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)    

 

5For the waves of death enveloped me; the torrents of destruction made me afraid.

 

6The cords of Sheol were entangling me; I encountered the snares of death.

 

7In my distress I called upon the Lord; I cried to my God, and He heard my voice from His temple; my cry came into His ears.

 

Isaiah 56:8

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

 

8Thus says the Lord God, Who gathers the outcasts of Israel: I will gather yet others to [Israel] besides those already gathered.

 

GOD GIVES YOU STRENGTH WHEN…

English: Bible card, "Honor thy father an...

English: Bible card, “Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12 (King James version), (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

YOU FEEL DEFEATED AND POWERLESS

 

Psalm 46:1-3

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

 

1GOD IS our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble.

 

2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains be shaken into the midst of the seas,

 

3Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling and tumult. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

 

Job 5:6-9

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

 

6For affliction comes not forth from the dust, neither does trouble spring forth out of the ground.

 

7But man is born to trouble as the sparks and the flames fly upward.

 

8As for me, I would seek God and inquire of and require Him, and to God would I commit my cause–

 

9Who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number.

 

Psalm 5:1-8, 11, 12

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

 

1LISTEN TO my words, O Lord, give heed to my sighing and groaning.

 

2Hear the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to You do I pray.

 

3In the morning You hear my voice, O Lord; in the morning I prepare [a prayer, a sacrifice] for You and watch and wait [for You to speak to my heart].

 

4For You are not a God Who takes pleasure in wickedness; neither will the evil [man] so much as dwell [temporarily] with You.

 

5Boasters can have no standing in Your sight; You abhor all evildoers.

 

6You will destroy those who speak lies; the Lord abhors [and rejects] the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

 

7But as for me, I will enter Your house through the abundance of Your steadfast love and mercy; I will worship toward and at Your holy temple in reverent fear and awe of You.

 

8Lead me, O Lord, in Your righteousness because of my enemies; make Your way level (straight and right) before my face.

 

11But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits.

 

12For You, Lord, will bless the [uncompromisingly] righteous [him who is upright and in right standing with You]; as with a shield You will surround him with goodwill (pleasure and favor).

 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

 

8Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me;

 

9But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

 

10So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [[c]in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful [d]in divine strength).

 

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 3)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 3)

WILL FATHERS STAND UP AND BECOME GODLY LEADERS?       

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 AMP)

MY SON NAPOLEON–A GODLY FATHER–LEADER OF HIS FAMILY (PHOTO BY PASTOR DAVIS)

Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father as I see it today.

We know that sometimes fathers fail to accept the responsibility God has given them toward their wives and children. Many fathers pursue their own selfish interests thus abandoning the role God has given them.

A Father and Son Moment with Pastor Davis and Son Max

 

Whenever parents fails to fulfill their role of godly leadership, the responsibility for leading their children will wrongly pass to a child’s peer group, a school or even the television. When an absent parent’s egoistic barked orders are met with resistance and rebellion, out of frustration and impatience a worldly parent might then even further discourage his or her children by cursing them. Instead, every parent needs to accept the leadership roles God has given us. This will require us to possess a heart devoted to God, to show our children how to live and to model serving others through love.

The principle of accepting our God given responsibility is within the grasp of each person. It is a decision. It does require work as well as death to Self.

God has provided a number of biblical principles for effective leadership. Any parent who abandons these principles will find their leadership ability in God’s service severely damaged. As parents seeking to serve God, let’s focus on being those whom God wants us to be. Let’s provide the godly leadership that our families need and which God has described for us. May our families be shining beacons of godly love, hope, values and all sorts of godly behavior in a world torn by the fruits of idolatry. And when we have finished the course, may we hear “well done good and faithful servant, you have been faithful in a few things. Enter into your Master’s   glory.”

WHAT IS EFFECTIVE PARENTING, HERE ARE THE FACTS                                                                            

Involved fathers provide practical support in raising children and serve as models for their development. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.  Committed and responsible fathering during infancy and early childhood contributes emotional security, curiosity, and math and verbal skills.

INCARCERATION:

The Department of Justice has estimated that over 7.3 million children under age 18 have a parent who is in prison, jail, on probation, or on parole. Given these numbers, it is important to understand how children and their caregivers are affected by the criminal activity of a parent and their subsequent arrest, incarceration, and release.  Additionally, it is important to know which services and assistance might be available to those under criminal justice supervision to help them be better parents and to return successfully to the community.

THE FATHER FACTOR

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America — one out of three — live in biological father-absent homes. Consequently, there is a “father factor” in nearly all of the social issues facing America today.

Father Factor in Poverty

Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor. In 2002, 7.8 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 38.4 percent of children in female-householder families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2002, P200-547, Table C8. Washington D.C.: GPO, 2003.

During the year before their babies were born, 43% of unmarried mothers received welfare or food stamps, 21% received some type of housing subsidy, and 9% received another type of government transfer (unemployment insurance etc.). For women who have another child, the proportion who receive welfare or food stamps rises to 54%.

Source: McLanahan, Sara. The Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study: Baseline National Report. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2003: 13.

A child with a nonresident father is 54 percent more likely to be poorer than his or her father.

Source: Sorenson, Elaine and Chava Zibman. “Getting to Know Poor Fathers Who Do Not Pay Child Support.” Social Service Review 75 (September 2001): 420-434.

When compared by family structure, 45.9% of poor single-parent families reported material hardship compared to 38.6% of poor two parent families. For unpoor families who did not experience material hardship, 23.3% were single-parent families compared to 41.2% of two-parent families.

Source: Beverly, Sondra G., “Material hardship in the United States: Evidence from the Survey of Income and Program Participation.” Social Work Research 25 (September 2001): 143-151.3

Father Factor in Maternal and Infant Health

Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants of unmarried mothers than for married mothers.

Source: Matthews, T.J., Sally C. Curtin, and Marian F. MacDorman. Infant Mortality Statistics from the 1998 Period Linked Birth/Infant Death Data Set. National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 48, No. 12. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics, 2000.

Based on birth and death data for 217,798 children born in Georgia in 1989 and 1990, infants without a father’s name on their birth certificate (17.9 percent of the total) were 2.3 times more likely to die in the first year of life compared to infants with a father’s name on their birth certificate.

Source: Gaudino, Jr., James A., Bill Jenkins, and Foger W. Rochat. “No Fathers’ Names: A Risk Factor for Infant Mortality in the State of Georgia, USA.” Social Science and Medicine 48 (1999): 253-265.

Unmarried mothers are less likely to obtain prenatal care and more likely to have a low birth-weight baby. Researchers find that these negative effects persist even when they take into account factors, such as parental education, that often distinguish single-parent from two-parent families.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Public Health Service. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Health Statistics. Report to Congress on Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing. Hyattsville, MD (Sept. 1995): 12.

Expectant fathers can play a powerful role as advocates of breastfeeding to their wives. Three-fourths of women whose partners attended a breastfeeding promotion class initiated breastfeeding.

Source: Wolfberg, Adam J., et al. “Dads as breastfeeding advocates: results from a randomized controlled trial of an educational intervention.” American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 191 (September 2004): 708-712.

Fathers’ knowledge about breastfeeding increases the likelihood that a child will be breastfed. Children who fathers knew more had a 1.76 higher chance of being breastfed at the end of the first month and 1.91 higher chance of receiving maternal milk at the end of the third month.

Source: Susin, Lurie R.O. “Does Parental Breastfeeding Knowledge Increase Breastfeeding Rates?” BIRTH 26 (September 1999): 149-155.

Twenty-three percent of unmarried mothers in large U.S. cities reported cigarette use during their pregnancy. Seventy-one percent were on Medicare.

Source: McLanahan, Sara. The Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study: Baseline National Report. Table 7. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2003: 16.

A study of 2,921 mothers revealed that single mothers were twice as likely as married mothers to experience a bout of depression in the prior year. Single mothers also reported higher levels of stress, fewer contacts with family and friends, less involvement with church or social groups and less overall social support.

Source: Cairney, John and Michael Boyle et al. “Stress, Social Support and Depression in Single and Married Mothers.” Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology 38 (August 2003): 442-449.

In a longitudinal study of more than 10,000 families, researchers found that toddlers living in stepfamilies and single-parent families were more likely to suffer a burn, have a bad fall, or be scarred from an accident compared to kids living with both of their biological parents.

Source: O’Connor, T., L. Davies, J. Dunn, J. Golding, ALSPAC Study Team. “Differential Distribution of Children’s Accidents, Injuries and Illnesses across Family Type.” Pediatrics 106 (November 2000): e68.

A study of 3,400 middle schoolers indicated that not living with both biological parents quadruples the risk of having an affective disorder.

Source: Cuffe, Steven P., Robert E. McKeown, Cheryl L. Addy, and Carol Z. Garrison. “Family Psychosocial Risk Factors in a Longitudinal Epidemiological Study of Adolescents.” Journal of American Academic Child Adolescent Psychiatry 44 (February 2005): 121-129.

Children who live apart from their fathers are more likely to be diagnosed with asthma and experience an asthma-related emergency even after taking into account demographic and socioeconomic conditions. Unmarried, cohabiting parents and unmarried parents living apart are 1.76 and 2.61 times, respectively, more likely to have their child diagnosed with asthma. Marital disruption after birth is associated with a 6-fold increase in the likelihood a children will require an emergency room visit and 5-fold increase of an asthma-related emergency.

Source: Harknett, Kristin. Children’s Elevated Risk of Asthma in Unmarried Families: Underlying Structural and Behavioral Mechanisms. Working Paper #2005-01-FF. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2005: 19-27.

Father Factor in Incarceration

Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds.

Source: Harper, Cynthia C. and Sara S. McLanahan. “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.

A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.

Source: James, Doris J. Profile of Jail Inmates, 2002. (NCJ 201932). Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report, Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, July 2004.

Father Factor in Crime

A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency.

Source: Bush, Connee, Ronald L. Mullis, and Ann K. Mullis. “Differences in Empathy Between Offender and Non-offender Youth.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 29 (August 2000): 467-478.

Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk.

Source: Anderson, Amy L. “Individual and contextual influences on delinquency: the role of the single-parent family.” Journal of Criminal Justice 30 (November 2002): 575-587.

A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent. (Fathers and Daughters)

Source: Snell, Tracy L and Danielle C. Morton. Women in Prison: Survey of Prison Inmates, 1991. Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report. Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, 1994: 4.

Even after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father.

Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.

Youths are more at risk of first substance use without a highly involved father. Each unit increase in father involvement is associated with 1% reduction in substance use. Living in an intact family also decreases the risk of first substance use.

Source: Bronte-Tinkew, Jacinta, Kristin A. Moore, Randolph C. Capps, and Jonathan Zaff. “The influence of father involvement on youth risk behaviors among adolescents: A comparison of native-born and immigrant families.” Article in Press. Social Science Research December 2004.

Of the 228 students studied, those from single-parent families reported higher rates of drinking and smoking as well as higher scores on delinquency and aggression tests when compared to boys from two-parent households.

Source: Griffin, Kenneth W., Gilbert J. Botvin, Lawrence M. Scheier, Tracy Diaz and Nicole L. Miller. “Parenting Practices as Predictors of Substance Use, Delinquency, and Aggression Among Urban Minority Youth: Moderating Effects of Family Structure and Gender.” Psychology of Addictive Behaviors 14 (June 2000): 174-184.

In a study of INTERPOL crime statistics of 39 countries, it was found that single parenthood ratios were strongly correlated with violent crimes. This was not true 18 years ago.

Source: Barber, Nigel. “Single Parenthood As a Predictor of Cross-National Variation in Violent Crime.” Cross-Cultural Research 38 (November 2004): 343-358.

Father Factor in Teen Pregnancy

Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.

Source: Teachman, Jay D. “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages.” Journal of Family Issues 25 (January 2004): 86-111.

Separation or frequent changes increase a woman’s risk of early menarche, sexual activity and pregnancy. Women whose parents separated between birth and six years old experienced twice the risk of early menstruation, more than four times the risk of early sexual intercourse, and two and a half times higher risk of early pregnancy when compared to women in intact families. The longer a woman lived with both parents, the lower her risk of early reproductive development. Women who experienced three or more changes in her family environment exhibited similar risks but were five times more likely to have an early pregnancy.

Source: Quinlan, Robert J. “Father absence, parental care, and female reproductive development.” Evolution and Human Behavior 24 (November 2003): 376-390.

Researchers using a pool from both the U.S. and New Zealand found strong evidence that father absence has an effect on early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy. Teens without fathers were twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as an adolescent.

Source: Ellis, Bruce J., John E. Bates, Kenneth A. Dodge, David M. Ferguson, L. John Horwood, Gregory S. Pettit, and Lianne Woodward. “Does Father Absence Place Daughters at Special Risk for Early Sexual Activity and Teenage Pregnancy.” Child Development 74 (May/June 2003): 801-821.

Father Factor in Child Abuse

Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect.

Source: America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being. Table SPECIAL1. Washington, D.C.: Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics, 1997.

The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.

Source: America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being. Table SPECIAL1. Washington, D.C.: Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics, 1997.

An analysis of child abuse cases in a nationally representative sample of 42 counties found that children from single-parent families are more likely to be victims of physical and sexual abuse than children who live with both biological parents. Compared to their peers living with both parents, children in single parent homes had:

a 77% greater risk of being physically abused

an 87% greater risk of being harmed by physical neglect

a 165% greater risk of experiencing notable physical neglect

a 74% greater risk of suffering from emotional neglect

an 80% greater risk of suffering serious injury as a result of abuse

overall, a 120% greater risk of being endangered by some type of child abuse.

Source: Sedlak, Andrea J. and Diane D. Broadhurst. The Third National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect: Final Report. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect. Washington, D.C., September 1996.

Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

Source: “Survey Links Teen Drug Use, Relationship With Father.” Alcoholism & Drug Abuse Weekly 6 September 1999: 5.

Even after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father.

Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.

In a study of 6,500 children from the ADDHEALTH database, father closeness was negatively correlated with the number of a child’s friends who smoke, drink, and smoke marijuana. Closeness was also correlated with a child’s use of alcohol, cigarettes, and hard drugs and was connected to family structure. Intact families ranked higher on father closeness than single-parent families.

Source: National Fatherhood Initiative. “Family Structure, Father Closeness, & Drug Abuse.” Gaithersburg, MD: National Fatherhood Initiative, 2004: 20-22.

Of the 228 students studied, those from single-parent families reported higher rates of drinking and smoking as well as higher scores on delinquency and aggression tests when compared to boys from two-parent households.

Source: Griffin, Kenneth W., Gilbert J. Botvin, Lawrence M. Scheier, Tracy Diaz and Nicole L. Miller. “Parenting Practices as Predictors of Substance Use, Delinquency, and Aggression Among Urban Minority Youth: Moderating Effects of Family Structure and Gender.” Psychology of Addictive Behaviors 14 (June 2000): 174-184.

Father Factor in Childhood Obesity

The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth found that obese children are more likely to live in father-absent homes than are non-obese children.

Source: National Longitudinal Survey of Youth

Study that looked at family lifestyle and parent’s Body Mass Index (BMI) over a nine year period found:

Father’s Body Mass Index (BMI) predicts son’s and daughter’s BMI independent of offspring’s alcohol intake, smoking, physical fitness, and father’s education

Furthermore, BMI in sons and daughters consistently higher when fathers were overweight or obese

Physical fitness of daughters negatively related to their father’s obesity

Obesity of fathers associated with a four-fold increase in the risk of obesity of sons and daughters at age 18

Source: Burke V, Beilin LJ, Dunbar D. “Family lifestyle and parental body mass index as predictors of body mass index in Australian children: a longitudinal study.” Department of Medicine, Royal Perth Hospital, University of Western Australia, and the Western Australian Heart Research Institute; Perth, Australia.

A fathers’ body mass index (a measurement of the relative composition of fat and muscle mass in the human body) is directly related to a child’s activity level. In a study of 259 toddlers, more active children were more likely to have a father with a lower BMI than less active children.

Source: Finn, Kevin, Neil Johannsen, and Bonny Specker. “Factors associated with physical activity in preschool children.” The Journal of Pediatrics 140 (January 2002): 81-85.

A study that looked at dietary intake and physical activity of parents and their daughters over a two year period found:

Daughter’s BMI predicted by father’s diets and father’s enjoyment of physical activity

As father’s BMI rose, so did their daughter’s BMI

Source: Davison KK, Birch LL. “Child and parent characteristics as predictors of change in girls’ body mass index.” Department of Human Development and Family Studies, The Pennsylvania State University, University Park, Pennsylvania 16802, USA.

Study that looked at the relationship between parent’s total and percentage body fat and daughter’s total body fat over a two and one-half year period found:

Father’s, not mother’s, total and percentage body fat the best predictor of changes in daughter’s total and percentage body fat.

Source: Figueroa-Colon R, Arani RB, Goran MI, Weinsier RL. “Paternal body fat is a longitudinal predictor of changes in body fat in premenarcheal girls.” Department of Pediatrics, General Clinical Research Center, Medical Statistics Unit, Comprehensive Cancer Center, University of Alabama at Birmingham, USA.

Two studies that have looked at the determinants of physical activity in obese and non-obese children found:

Obese children less likely to report that their father’s were physically active than were the children of non-obese children. This determinant not found for mothers.

Father’s inactivity strong predictor of children’s inactivity.

Source: Trost SG, Kerr LM, Ward DS, Pate RR. “Physical activity and determinants of physical activity in obese and non-obese children. School of Human Movement Studies, The University of Queensland, Brisbane, Queensland 4072, Australia.

Source: Fogelholm M, Nuutinen O, Pasanen M, Myohanen E, Saatela T. “Parent-child relationship of physical activity patterns and obesity.” University of Helsinki, Lahti Research and Training Centre, Finland.

Children who lived with single mothers were significantly more likely to become obese by a 6-year follow-up, as were black children, children with nonworking parents, children with nonprofessional parents, and children whose mothers did not complete high school.

Source: Strauss RS, Knight J. “Influence of the home environment on the development of obesity in children.” Division of Pediatric Gastroenterology and Nutrition, University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, Robert Wood Johnson School of Medicine, New Brunswick, New Jersey 08903, USA.

Father Factor in Education

Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, D.C.: GPO, 1993.

Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

Students living in father-absent homes are twice as likely to repeat a grade in school; 10 percent of children living with both parents have ever repeated a grade, compared to 20 percent of children in stepfather families and 18 percent in mother-only families.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

Students in single-parent families or stepfamilies are significantly less likely than students living in intact families to have parents involved in their schools. About half of students living in single-parent families or stepfamilies have parents who are highly involved, while 62 percent of students living with both their parents have parents who are highly involved in their schools.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

In 2001, 61 percent of 3- to 5-year olds living with two parents were read aloud to everyday by a family member, compared to 48% of children living in single- or no-parent families.

Source: Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics. America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2002. Table ED1. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 2003.

Kindergarteners who live with single-parents are over-represented in those lagging in health, social and emotional, and cognitive outcomes. Thirty-three percent of children who were behind in all three areas were living with single parents while only 22% were not lagging behind.

Source: Wertheimer, Richard and Tara Croan, et al. Attending Kindergarten and Already Behind: A Statistical Portrait of Vulnerable Young Children. Child Trends Research Brief. Publication #2003-20. Washington, DC: Child Trends, 2003.

In two-parent families, children under the age of 13 spend an average of 1.77 hours engaged in activities with their fathers and 2.35 hours doing so with their mothers on a daily basis in 1997. Children in single parent families spent on .42 hours with their fathers and 1.26 hours with their mothers on daily basis.

Source: Lippman, Laura, et al. Indicators of Child, Family, and Community Connections. Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation. Washington, DC: US Department of Health and Human Services, 2004.

A study of 1330 children from the PSID showed that fathers who are involved on a personal level with their child schooling increases the likelihood of their child’s achievement. When fathers assume a positive role in their child’s education, students feel a positive impact.

Source: McBride, Brent A., Sarah K. Schoppe-Sullivan, and Moon-Ho Ho. “The mediating role of fathers’ school involvement on student achievement.” Applied Developmental Psychology 26 (2005): 201-216.

Half of all children with highly involved fathers in two-parent families reported getting mostly A’s through 12th grade, compared to 35.2% of children of nonresident father families.

Source: National Center for Education Statistics. The Condition of Education. NCES 1999022. Washington, DC: U.S. Dept. of Education, 1999: 76.

The Numbers

According to 2009 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes.

In 1960, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes.

The Consequences

Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents to:

Be poor

Use drugs

Experience educational problems

Experience health problems

Experience emotional problems

Experience behavioral problems

Be victims of child abuse

Engage in criminal behavior

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Words have a power all their own

Words have a power all their own (Photo credit: Lynne Hand)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 2)

Why Are Families Breaking Down?  

Written by Pastor Terry Coomer Elwood Bible Baptist Church, Elwood, Indiana 46036

 Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you this day whom you will serve: whether the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I am greatly burdened about the family in America. The direction we are going today is total destruction. There are many reasons for this. We live in a day when words like love, commitment, responsibility, compassion, faith, church, righteousness, common sense, God, the Word of God, mean virtually nothing. I believe that much of that is due to the breakdown of the family.

Folks, the Bible strongly emphasize the family. Today, if you try to encourage a family to do as God has commanded, you will hear comments like “that church or pastor is weird, strict, legalistic, or a cult.” Most of these people have no idea what a cult is and are too spiritually ignorant to see the breakdown that is affecting their family.

The weakness of the family today is the lack of knowledge of the Word of God and an unwillingness to obey the Word of God. 2 Timothy 3:15 says that Timothy knew the holy scriptures “from a child.” It is important for our children to know the Word of God. It takes parents who are willing to make the commitment to study the Word of God and then to teach it to their children. A child must learn to have a relationship with God through His Word. A family can never be right with God as long as the parents are not having a relationship with God through His Word.

The family is a divine creation. Genesis 1:27-28, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them; and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

The family was created before the church. The family is a unit. Certainly, the family affects the church. The family is a divine institution. Exodus 20:12 “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

I want you to notice something very important here, “father and mother” is a unit. It is important to understand that there is fidelity in that unit.

The family is important in the eyes of God, especially a godly family, which is rare today. (See Ephesians 6:22-33.)

How far away have we gotten from a godly family today? How far are we away from what the Word of God says on this issue? Unfortunately, very far. It is like night and day. The church today has done a miserable job. Most pastors are under tremendous pressure today to compromise the Word of God for entertainment. Many do compromise because they are afraid they will lose people. Many Independent Baptist Church bulletins look like an airline flight and departure schedule. The less time we can give to the Bible the more the average Christian likes it. They believe that activities make them spiritual rather than a relationship with God through His Word. Many Pastors seek to find out what works to draw a crowd rather than what is right. You have homes that are running themselves to death thinking they are doing the work of God.

Many churches today have ungodly music to appeal to the flesh so they can get a crowd. They cancel services where the word of God should be preached so they can have a southern gospel sing. These people do not worship God, they worship music and activities. It is nothing more than idolatry. Then they wonder why their kids grow up to live wicked, immoral, ungodly lives and have no desire for spiritual things. Divorce is rampant and we have many people living after the lusts of the flesh right in the church ministry. 2 Timothy 4:3 warns that “the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears.” Folks, that time is now! You have people today running from church to church until they can hear it like they want it rather than what God really says. The way to build godly families is to have a good church that preaches the Word of God and stands for it. The parents who attend that church must desire the Word of God and take the time and have the commitment themselves to study the Word so they can teach the Word to their children.

I looked at some statistics for America. The numbers are alarming:

1.   Divorces granted 1970–708,000, 1980–1,170,000 up 65%
2.   Unmarried couples 1970–523,000, 1980–1,346,000 up 157%
3.   Persons living alone 1970–10,851,000, 1980–17,202,000 up 58.5%
4.   Children living with two parents 1970–58,926,000, 1980–48,295,000 down 18%
5.   Children living with one parent 1970–8,230,000, 1980–11,528,000 up 40.1%
6.   Families with both husband and wife working 1970–20,327,000, 1980–24,253,000 up 19.4%

These statistics reveal some serious problems that we are facing in the family, and these numbers were from a few years ago and are much worse now.

THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE BREAKDOWN OF THE HOME IS FATHERS NOT FULFILLING THEIR BIBLICAL ROLE OF LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME. This is the most important reason for unhappy families.

God says, worship is to be led by the father. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:9).

Most fathers I know could care less. This is a wicked thing. There is more to being a father than just producing children. The lack of leadership by the father today in every area is the most important factor in the breakdown of the American home. I pray the Lord will give us more men like Joshua.

Joshua 24:14-15, “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.”

There has to be a consecration by dad. There is more to a marriage than just living together in a physical relationship.

Lack of godly male leadership brings about the disastrous consequences of rebellion, delinquency, and sexual promiscuity. Divorce is usually caused by a father not taking his Biblical responsibilities and is something God hates, (See Malachi 2:12-17. Matthew 19:5-6.)

The most important cause of divorce in America is the lack of proper, godly leadership by the father and husband. It is also the most frequent cause of children’s feelings of rejection, behavioral problems, and anxieties.  Ephesians 6:1-4. Notice in verse 4, “And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “wrath” means a strong desire to avenge. How does a father provoke a child to wrath? By not bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture means training with structure. Most fathers have no desire for the Word of God and they are raising angry vengeful children because they are not committed to training their children in spiritual principles as God commands. Of course, they cannot train the child if they are ignorant of God’s principles themselves. That is a picture of the American father.

David Blankenhorn in his 1995 book, “Fatherless America,” says “the culture change from a stable, two parent home to the father’s abandonment of his responsibilities of marriage and parenting is America’s most urgent social problem. The father’s absence is the main reason for unhappy homes, many current social problems, and is a national crisis of our time.”

According to the National Fatherhood Institute, 40% of the children in the United States have not seen their father for a year! In the last 15 years “fatherless” children jumped from 10.2 million to 15.6 million. 70% of juveniles in detention centers and reformatories are children of fatherless homes. Statistics indicate that “violent criminals” are overwhelmingly males who grew up without a father’s leadership. This includes 60% of America’s rapists, 72% of adolescent murders, and 70% of long-term prison inmates. One out of every four high school seniors graduate functionally illiterate. It is more than a physical presence. There are many homes where a father is there, but that is all. They want all their needs fulfilled, but do not want to take the spiritual, godly, or normal leadership that God intended. Instead children grow up listening to their parents fight, cuss, yell, scream, spend money on all kinds of entertainment and material possessions trying to be happy.

The father’s failure to take responsibility and leadership in the home has created a valueless, unhappy, fractured home and society. This failure has had a devastating effect on our children and has spawned a multitude of wicked societal problems including delinquency, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and violence.

The family is in trouble in America because men fail to be the leaders God wants them to be. We desperately need to pray for the men of this country to do as God has commanded. The results of the men not obeying God have been disastrous. The great need is for men to repent of their sins, to really come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and then to be obedient to the commands of God from His Word. Men must be the leaders God desires them to be. May God help us to pray for the men of America.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 1)

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEADERSHIP AND GROWTH OF GODLY FAMILIES (PART 1)

WHY IS THERE AN INTEGRITY AND VALUE CRISIS IN OUR LEADERSHIP?

Davis Byars Sr. A real family leader (Photo by Pastor Davis) This is my Dad, he is 95 years old and he has always been a true leader of our family. With a sound mind and good physical health, he is still the leader of our family.

Why is there so much turmoil at the top of our families, our churches, and our government? It appears that we have lost our moral compasses. We no longer live by the values that Jesus taught us. Fathers, who are the head of our families, are failing at an alarming rate. The church leadership is leading God’s people astray. In addition, we have our government leaders that are in total flux, they do not know which way is up or which way is down.  It is almost like the blind leading the blind, and we all are going round and round.  Where will it all ends?

Jesus warned us against doing the right things for the wrong reasons, things such as trying to develop integrity only because it would advance our career or help us to close a deal. Jesus called people who practiced this kind of morality “hypocrites.” Notice that he used this word three times in (Matthew 6:2,5,16 verses). Three times people are cited for violating their integrity by doing something only for the appearance. How excited would you be about doing business with people like this? In today’s marketplace, it appears that some of our leaders believe, that when no one is looking, they can do anything they choose to do, and get away with it.  What they failed to understand, is that God sees all, and know all things. Our God is a God who sits high and looks low. Anything that a person may do in the dark will come into the light eventually.

Therefore, the essence of hypocrisy (lack of integrity) is public-dependent behavior.  It is acting one-way while people are watching and another when alone. Typically this is not the kind of person most parents would want their daughter to marry; nor is this the kind of leader who inspires dedicated followers.

Jesus key to integrity is that his followers will live their lives by the standard of their unchanging, present heavenly father. Resist the temptation to dance to every vendor’s tune; instead, march to the steady beat set by our Almighty God.

Integrity involves living by one standard and for the approval of one judge. People come and go, and their standards are fickle. Trying to please all of them will at best drive you nuts and at worst turn you into a hypocrite. Nevertheless, God is unchanging and always present. Living for Him is foundational to integrity, and it reaps an eternal reward.

In order for today’s leaders to begin to lead in the right direction, they must go back to the core principles of Jesus teaching on integrity, and values. Now allow me the opportunity to define for our leaders, the first step of what their core values should be.  Until they understand, what it means to be equipped with core values, such as trying to steer their ship with no rudders. Vision, mission, strategy and outcomes are difficult, if not impossible, until values are clear. Jesus knew that; and in the process of developing His team off disciples, he forced them to confront this foundational issue.

Jesus urged his disciples to focus their values on things that would bear and eternal return. However, how, by making a living on Earth, while responsibly leading an enterprise on earth, while providing jobs, products, service and profit on Earth; do we build treasures in heaven? Whose nod of approval matters most? Who defines what really matters?

Jesus told his disciples that the core value, the driving value, that eternal value is this: “does what I am doing please God?”Every other value is second to that one. When that value is in place all other values line up.

Values are uncompromisable, undebatable truths that drive and direct behavior. Those are motivational, they give us reasons why we do things; and they are restrictive, they placed boundaries around behavior. Leadership literature is paying increased attention to the importance of consistent values to a leader’s effectiveness over the long haul.

King David demonstrated value driven behavior in Psalms 15. Notice that he said the person who enjoys the presence of God and lives a blameless life is the one who “speaks the truth from his heart.” Because this person’s values truth and his heart, his words express truth. Because he values kindness, he does his neighbor no wrong. Because he values honesty, he keeps his oath even when it hurts. Because he values justice, he does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

Leaders who are value driven reap a great benefit from the Lord. David said, “They would never be shaken.” Regardless of what may happen around them, they can live with confidence that the right principles have shaped their values and have guided their decisions. That confidence will give them emotional and spiritual stability. It will enable them to be leaders whom God can use for his glory.

As you reflect on the Psalms, considering what values drove the psalmist behavior. As you examine your own life, what values do you see as driving your behavior? What values would you like to have drive your behavior? Make it your goal; to more completely integrate God’s values into your professional and personal life.

THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL

THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL

HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS THOUGHOUT THE WORLD

A GIFT OF LOVE FOR ALL FATHERS ON THIS FATHERS’ DAY

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

GOD declares his love for us in John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, so that who-ever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. In giving us his only begotten Son, He gave us THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL.

Today is Sunday June 17, FATHER’S DAY. This is a day set aside to honor FATHERS and encourage one-another. God has given this day and it is to be celebrated in a way that honors him. So today, FATHERS’ lift your head up, pull your shoulders back, stick your chest out and stand tall. You have been given an assignment and you are needed now more than ever in the lives of children every-where you journey make a difference in some-ones’ life that is you’re calling. FATHERS’ wear labels and expectations from the family as well as society. They are given the task of being able to rule, guide, teach and make wise decisions and choices. In all of this we must remember our creator and look to him for instructions to apply to our lives.

REMEMBER THE GREATEST GIFT:

In the beginning God created the heavens and earth (Genesis 1:1) The Bible as a whole is the story of God, the central personality and driving force of all that is recorded. From Genesis Chapter 1 God created to Revelation 22 (the last chapter) the throne of God is beautifully reveled as a river of life that flows through a world where “night shall be no more…for the Lord will be their light” (Revelation 22:5). God’s time stretch across history, in his own time and ways. It was the Holy Spirit who descended on Jesus’ baptism, God’s voice announcing, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I’m well pleased” (Matthew 3:17).  God also chose through Jesus to establish a newly intimate relationship with those who would have faith in Jesus Christ. Because Jesus was God’s Son, Christians taught, God also adopts as his own child the one who trust in Jesus.

Paul wrote, “When the time had fully come, God sent forth his Son…so that we might receive adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, Abba [Father!]” (Galatians 4:4-6). Life, light, truth and beauty surrounds God’s throne. The vision assures us, God “shall reign forever and ever!” (Revelation 22:5).  God who is exalted beyond all time, history and imagination is yet personal and intimate enough to listen to a single heart crying “Abba, Father!”

Jesus encourages our hearts with these words: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you: abide in my love. If you keep my commandments you shall abide in my love: Even as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love (John 15:9-10).

This is my commandment; Love one another as I have loved you (12).

So, today is Fathers’ Day, let it be a day we pause and give thanks for their patience, love and guidance.

God bless all Fathers’ this special day, and FATHERS’ use your unique gift of love to bless others and together we can make the world a better place.  HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY TO ALL FATHERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD! In the name of JESUS, AMEN!

PORTRAIT OF A FATHER

PORTRAIT OF A FATHER

Pastor Davis with Father Deacon Davis Byars Sr. Age 95 and still going strong

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

The PORTRAIT OF A FATHER is one of a special gift, because God has chosen them and placed them in charge of the family as a nurturer and provider.  FATHERS’ are seen as the strong tower, the leader and diligently goes about seeking how to provide the many necessities essential to the family’s growth. Throughout time FATHERS’ have always sheltered their inner emotions simply because that is how society dictates. Life now paints a different picture for today’s FATHER.

When we think of a FATHER we think of the beginning (the creation) and know that he was created for a purpose and that purpose was for God’s enjoyment. God formed Man out of the dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man became a living soul! Genesis 2:7. God made a covenant with Abraham when he was ninety-nine years old, he said, “This is my covenant with you: You’ll be the FATHER of many nations, I’ll make nations from you, a covenant that includes your descendants, a covenant that goes on and on and on, a covenant that commits me to be your God and the God of your descendants. (Genesis 17:3-8 Mgs)

Today’s FATHER displays a sense of humor and honesty. They are diligently seeking how to be better at their assignment as a Father.  As fathers’ they should strive to build and maintain strong bonds with those entrusted to their care. THE PORTRAIT OF A FATHER should be seen as one of showing honor, humor, honesty, caring, courage, character, grace, guidance while setting boundaries for appropriate behavior within the family. He should be one whom children look-up to as a role model as he follow the rule to love every-one.

The Bible tells us that, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24 KJV).  Therefore, let us understand that a FATHER can and will make mistakes as he seeks to lead his family in the path that God has set out for him to do so.

Now listen to the words of Thomas More, he says, “Family life is full of major and minor crises—the ups and downs of health, success and failure—and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.”

As Fathers’ day approaches let’s set aside any differences we may have and express love and gratitude for all fathers, a role not to be taken lightly and as you do so, remember these very important words:  “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in.  (Isaiah 58:11-12ESV).

Oh! Teach us to live well! Let your servants see what you’re best at—the ways you rule your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work we do. (Psalm 90:12-17).

The PORTRAIT OF A FATHER is one that none of us should take lightly.  Let us lift up our eyes towards heaven and thank God, our HEAVENLY FATHER who has given us this opportunity to be a part of this earthly celebration this weekend to salute and honor all FATHERS who have stood the test of time and given of themselves to be FATHERS in spite of the many trials and tribulations they have had to endure.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL FATHERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND MAY THE PEACE, LOVE AND JOY OF GOD OUR FATHER FILL YOUR HEARTS WITH MUCH JOY AND PEACE ON THIS SPECIAL FATHER’S DAY!

FROM FATHER TO SON—BE WISE AS A SERPENT

FROM FATHER TO SON—BE WISE AS A SERPENT

Davis Byars Sr teaches his great grand son Tony Byars to be wise as a serpent

Oh listen, dear child—become wise;
point your life in the right direction.
Don’t drink too much wine and get drunk;
don’t eat too much food and get fat.
Drunks and gluttons will end up on skid row,
in a stupor and dressed in rags.

 

Listen with respect to the father who raised you,
and when your mother grows old, don’t neglect her.
Buy truth—don’t sell it for love or money;
buy wisdom, buy education, buy insight.
Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
wise children become proud parents.
So make your father happy!
Make your mother proud!

  Dear child, I want your full attention;

please do what I show you.

A whore is a bottomless pit;
a loose woman can get you in deep trouble fast.
She’ll take you for all you’ve got;
she’s worse than a pack of thieves.

Who are the people who are always crying the blues?

Who do you know who reeks of self-pity?

Drunkenness of Noah

Drunkenness of Noah (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Who keeps getting beat up for no reason at all?
Whose eyes are bleary and bloodshot?
It’s those who spend the night with a bottle,
for whom drinking is serious business.
Don’t judge wine by its label,
or its bouquet, or its full-bodied flavor.
Judge it rather by the hangover it leaves you with—
the splitting headache, the queasy stomach.
Do you really prefer seeing double,
with your speech all slurred,
Reeling and seasick,
drunk as a sailor?
“They hit me,” you’ll say, “but it didn’t hurt;
they beat on me, but I didn’t feel a thing.
When I’m sober enough to manage it,
bring me another drink!”

(Proverb 23:19-35 MSG)

WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES THAT GOES INTO THE MAKING OF A GOOD FATHER?

WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES THAT GOES INTO THE MAKING OF A GOOD FATHER?

Pastor Davis with Grand Daughter-Shania

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

You are my FATHER/MOTHER: God breathed (SPITIT)

WE ARE:  Your gift from God, you were chosen

YOUR MISSION: To care for us; protect us

To teach us; lead and guide us

Provide a safe and secure environment for us to grow

To love and nurture us; lead by example

To provide the necessities of life for us, so that we can grow without worry or want

To ensure that we receive wisdom and knowledge that will shape us as we grow into our own

  • You may or may not have been there when I took my first breath
  • You may or may not have been there when I took my first step
  • You may or may not have been there on my first day of school
  • You may or may not have been there when I hit my first ball
  • You may or may not have been there when I lost my first tooth
  • You may or may not have been there when I shed my first tear
  • You may or may not have been there when I went on my first date
  • You may or may not have been there when I went to my high school prom
  • You may or may have not been there when I graduated high school/college
  • So many parts of my growth and development process you may or may not have been a part of, but you know what; it doesn’t matter because you are still my Father/Mother.

FATHER:

How tall and proud you stand with strong sturdy hands

Firms glance with eyes that see the truth in you

A heart that loves you no matter what it sees on your face or hears on your lips

How long his arms that embrace you across the miles and time, always finding the way to where-ever you are

How large his heart is, so full of the lives of others held dear with barely enough room for him in there

Always giving, always aware, always there; those are some of “THE QUALITIES THAT GOES INTO THE MAKING OF A GOOD FATHER?”

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN

A Father’s Love (My Son Maximillion and His Baby Daughter) Photo by Pastor Davis)

BY MINISTER SHIRLEY RHODES

When we are born we do not yet know how to speak or behave, yet we are born with the potential to learn things—before we were thought about, God already had a plan for our lives. Oh yes you shaped me first inside, and then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb Psalm 139:13 (Mgs).  The Father and Mother are chosen vessels to conceive and nurture the child until birth—and is to continue teaching and instilling knowledge and rules needed to develop social skills through the stages of growth and development.

Whether positive or negative there’s always a payoff to everything we do. Families are those whom we grow with and learn many of life’s lessons. Often that reality is shattered through divorce, broken-relationships, and finances. Interruption in the process of marriage/relationship can shift the responsibility of child care to either parent. Some men often assume the role of care taker and are seen as a stable force in the child’s life. A father is one that shows love and concern, offers encouragement and seeks to instill values that will enhance the child’s quality of life. Although society dictates parenting, especially in regards to the role of fathers there are those who care enough to provide their children with a positive environment. Maybe we as a society should focus more on the quality of care these fathers are capable of giving rather than quantity. Every case is different and recognizing the contributions of many male figures as fathers and role models may save a child from fate of the criminal justice system.  Therefore, I state to you, that when a father is embracing his children with love and encouragement he is then truly fulfilling his role which is, “A FATHER IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN!”

HOW DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO FATHER’S ABOUT THE RAISING AND DISCIPLINE OF THEIR CHILDREN?

HOW DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO FATHER’S ABOUT THE RAISING AND DISCIPLINE OF THEIR CHILDREN?

A Father and Son Moment (Pastor Davis and son Maximillion)

By Minister Shirley Rhodes  

Fathers as head of the family

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them. –Robert L. Evans

  • Fathers were once considered the head of the family and considered the provider and disciplinarian; that role today has been replaced with restrictions on their role as to how they raise their children within any means less favorable according to the government and society.  Many of the Christian values have been replaced with laws that forbid discipline by touching. According to the Scriptures children who are taught early will keep those values deep within even if they happen to choose a different path in life. A look into the Word that will give insight to fathers:

Children obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (Colossians 3:20-21—KJV)

Children do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master to no end.

Parents don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits (Mgs).

  • The book of Proverbs offers insight into behavior, warnings and consequences of disobedient children.

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it is the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish son is grief of his mother (10:1).

A wise son hears’ his father’s instructions; but a scorner hears rebuke (13:1). He that spares the rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastened him early (24).

A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish man despise his Mother (15:20).

Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers (17:6). A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him (25).

Punish thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying (19:18).

He that abuses his father and chases away his mother is a son that causes shame, and brings reproach (26).

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work is pure, and whether it is right (20:11).

Train up your child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (22:6). Foolish is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (15).

Withhold not correction from the child; for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and shall rescue his soul from hell (23: 13-14).

Hear my son and be wise, guide your heart in the way (19); Listen to your father that begat you, and despise not your mother when she is old (22). My sons, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways (26).

The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself brings his mother shame (29:15). Correct your son and he shall give you rest; he shall give delight unto your soul (17-18).

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)

TEACHING KIDS TO RESPECT AUTHORITY (PART TWO)         

Teaching Kids Respect-My-Grand Son Tony Byars (Photo by Pastor Davis)

Remember, the process for training up a child to learn respect begins with you, “the parent.”  Set the example for your child.  You as the Parent have a duty to God and to your children to instruct them in the reasons for being respectful, study (Proverbs 1:84:16:20Ephesians 6:1-4). These verses should enlighten your mind on what God wants us to know about the proper role we play in raising our children to have and show respect for authority.

These principles equip your children for success in life and prepare them to assume their place in the kingdom. You as a Parent do more harm to your children by not instructing and re-enforcing these truths (Deuteronomy 6:7-9).

Your child mimics what you do — if your child sees you yelling, cursing, interrupting or being sarcastic, your child believes this behavior is natural, explains Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development expert. If you want your child to respect you, teach him or her how to do so.  If you want your child to have respected you and other authority figures you must give respect to your child. This means you support your child and his or her feelings. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, and refrain from saying anything negative that can hurt your child.  Respect is a two-way street. Just because you are an authoritative figure doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your child. Your child is a person too.

Let us be mindful that when God commands us to respect certain individuals it is assumed they are respectable. One of the difficult lessons to learn in life is that we are sometimes disappointed by those whom we have come to respect. Parents sin (Colossians 3:21); elders digress (1 Timothy 5:19-20); governments become corrupt (Psalms 9:17); men become wicked (2 Timothy 3:13). In times like these, we remember that the honor we give others, even the undeserving, is a reflection of the esteem with which we hold Christ (Ephesians 6:5-7).

English: Young saint Timothy with his mother

English: Young saint Timothy with his mother (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes the young demand respect for themselves. They are certainly entitled to the same honor which others receive (I Peter 2:17). However, the same assumptions hold for them as well, those honored are honorable and the respected are respectable. Paul admonished Timothy to let no man despise his youth (I Timothy 4:12). In order to accomplish that task Paul urged him to be an example in all areas of life. If we want to be respected we must learn it and earn it.

Now let us look at one of the most common and misunderstood ways that a child shows lack of respect for adults, it is by interrupting adult conversations.  For me as a child, this was truly a no, no. However, this is often done when a child continuously pulls on their Mother’s arm while saying, “Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie,” repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention. The child has demanded priority over the adult with whom her mother was speaking, and in essence has said, “Me first! I’m more important than you are!” The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.

A child who has something to say to parents who are engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his or her parent, making sure that his or her parent sees them. At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, “Excuse me one moment,” and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child’s question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child’s concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child’s.

When adults are engaged in conversation in the presence of children (for instance, at dinner), the children should not dominate or dictate the direction of the conversation. The way another generation expressed this thought was, “Children should be seen and not heard.” It is not that children should not speak at all, but that they should not think that they have equal status around the dinner table with the adults. Sitting quietly and learning to listen while at the dinner table is a key ingredient to a Childs ability to learn respect and proper communication with other adult figures.  Many children, if not taught respect by their parents, will actually dominate the conversation, making it impossible for the parents and guests to have an adult discussion.

Children should be taught to sit quietly and respond enthusiastically when spoken to, or when an adult shows an interest in them or their activities. They should be spirited responders, and not initiators, when adults are present.

We must always know our place and keep in mind, that we are the adults in the room, and we are either going to be the teacher are we are going to be taught by our children.  If we are Godly parents, we know that we must always remain in the will of God and be obedient to the word of God, knowing that everything we do our children is watching and learning from us.  A key ingredient to just how our children learn respect is through observation.  They learn how to honor their parents by observing how their parents honor one another (Ephesians 5:2829), and by seeing how their parents treat their grandparents (1 Timothy 5:4Matthew 15:6). They learn how to honor government by observing how their parents respect the law (I Peter 2:13-15Luke 20:25I Timothy 2:1-2). They learn how to honor their employers by observing how their parents honor theirs (Ephesians 4:286:6-72 Thessalonians 3:10). And, they learn to honor God by observing their parents do the same (Matthew 6:33).

Know this one truth, and that is God will always have the last word on how respect and honor works in our daily lives.  In (Ephesians 6:2-4 AMP) the word says this, “Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise–That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.  This honor is due because parents have sacrificed so much for their children.  They are the guides, the providers and protectors of their offspring. Their love and sacrifice should command our respect; this is why God says, “It is right.”

The aged are worthy of our respect (Leviticus 19:32Proverbs 20:29). However, it is again assumed that they command that respect by their character (Proverbs 16:31;Job 32:9). The aged have attained wisdom through their experiences and spirituality (Job 12:12). Their lives have been a blessing to their families and communities because of their accomplishments. Their posterity is indebted to them for their accomplishments. We do stand on the shoulders of giants.

Now in conclusion let me leave you with this final perspective, why has this become such a problem in the 21st century? I submit to you that this should not come as a surprise to you because we have a generation of kids raising kids.  With our economy in the shape that it is in and both parents having to leave home for work just to make ends meet, we have turn over the raising of our children to the T.V. and video games.  Drugs and Alcoholic has invaded our communities and the drug addictions and early death rate of so many of our youth are causing grandparents and great grand parents to become parents to their grand children at a time when they are ill equipped to do so.  The children have already grown up with a bad attitude of disrespect for the adults and the authority figures that now must care for them.

While it is unfortunate, it is nevertheless often necessary to apply correction. A failure to do this when it is called for encourages further disrespect (Ecclesiastes 8:11). For this reason then, God has allowed for government to punish evildoers (Romans 13:24), the church to correct the unrepentant (Titus 1:132 Thessalonians 3:6), and parents to discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24).

Let me assure you, this is not the final word on this subject by no means; I will speak more on this subject again soon.  It is a subject that has many view points. In my next message I will have others to share their views on this subject until we all get a complete picture on what and how to deal effective with this matter.  If you have a point of view that you would like to share, please email it to me and I will consider it in my next lesson on this subject.  I leave you with my peace, that you may enjoy the benefits of God’s grace and mercy.  I remain your brother in Christ, Pastor Davis/Master Teacher.

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