MY RELATIONSHIP STRATEGIES PART 22
I WONDER WHY SOME PEOPLE FIND IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE
By Shirley Rhodes
One thing I’ve determined about life is that at some point we will be hurt, and that is to be expected, because we are human. Jesus often spoke about forgiveness and there actually is healing in forgiveness. The main problem is that many of us don’t want to forgive; holding on to grudges, anger, disappointments gives us a sense of power/control over those we’re angry with. For some reason we feel that if we forgive someone we’re letting them get off easy but the truth is that when you forgive you’re releasing, letting go sets you free. Many do not know that by holding on to resentment, they create a mental bond to that person they claim to want no part of, like a game of chess it keeps them locked into the game.
If someone has done you wrong tell them what they did, why it hurt and then let it go. This can be accomplished by writing a note or talking with the person; once everything is out in the open and the person you’re angry with is willing to make amends, open up and with clear thoughts, seek to gather an understanding of what each of you are feeling. It may all boil down to a simple “I’m sorry I let you down” and I’m here because I want to make amends.
In order for us to be able to put the past behind us we must be willing to forgive. Pride and miscommunication often lead to broken relationships/bonds because no one wants to be the first to say “I’m sorry.”
FORGIVENESS —“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this, that he will lay down his life for his friends. John15:12-13. Love is patient and kind.