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Finding Comfort in Closeness


Today let us begin our conversation with the word closeness and then try and focus our minds of what this word means to us as we try and draw closer to our mate. First let us understand that the word closeness means more than physical proximity: it is the feeling that you can be wholly yourself in your partner’s company, that just being together has natural positive value. If you lack this feeling you can be like strangers going through the motions of sharing a life without the warmth of intimacy. Closeness takes many forms; physical, emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual. Each of these types is potent and can enrich a relationship in a different way. Ideally, you should aim to develop closeness in all these areas, but in practice, most couples tend to be close in some ways and not in others. Focus on your weakest forms of closeness first. Bear in mind that for most couples the most important types of closeness to cultivate are emotional and physical.

There is no doubt that human beings feel closes to each other when they enjoy body contact. As babies, we are happiest when we are cuddled up, skin to skin, with our mother or father. And throughout adult life we continue to derive a sense of security and comfort from physical closeness with others. Unfortunately, most couples touch each other less and less as their relationship matures, and their emotional remoteness tends to increase with this loss of physical contact.

To help rediscover physical and emotional closeness, why not start a new routine of hugging each other. You can start by hugging whenever one of you leaves the home or returns. Try to stay in the hug for at least two full in breaths and out breaths. Allow yourself to relax and focus all your attention on the sensations of warmth and closeness. Once you have developed the habit of hugging each other at certain times, you will find that you start to touch each other more often, in a more spontaneous way.  Why not try it, you just might rekindle a flame that has gone dim and ignite a spark that can start a fire of romance that you never knew you could enjoy.  What is it going to cost you?  The moment is upon you.  Tomorrow may never come in a way that you might have the opportunity to be a part of it.  Reach out and take your lover in your arms, embrace your lover, relax and just enjoy the moment.

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